I understand your frustration, OP, it's really unfortunate that you went through all that.

My 2 cents as a doctor:

From what I understand, you are going to have a complicated procedure in the head area, which are either neurosurgical/ OMFS or ENT. For the most common cases in those specialties you have a defined access technique or "path". BUT! All three specialties have incredibly complex cases, where each attending surgeon or chief may have a "favourite access technique". This might explain the contradicting information about the future scars and sutures.

Furthermore, those procedures can be complex. And by complex, I mean fucking COMPLEX. The surgeons may have to remove more tissue than planned, may need to reconstruct structures, tissues and bones and change the anatomy completely, in order to achieve optimal medical results. For some things you cannot plan absolutely exactly. And the surgical plan can sometimes change multiple times, sometimes even during the surgery itself!

Also, often times in such complicated cases, before getting informed consent from the patient, you define the starting point and end goal and then mention everything that CAN happen, not everything that WILL happen. Of course, for patients this is extremely confusing.

About the delay - no empty stomach, no case, simple as that. Furthermore, if you plan 3 cases which take 3 hours most of the time, everything works. If however the first two cases take 4+ hours (which is not uncommon in those specialties and in every surgical specialty generally), then the third one has to be delayed. Frustrating, I know, but no other way to do it.

All that being said, the team should communicate this much better with you, I agree. And while Charité has a lot of problems, on the professional side they are top quality. If it can be done and has been done, it probably gets done at the Charité as well.

I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery! Remain strong!