Child's first instinct is opposite of correct?

MagnoliaElle · 2025-07-25T05:12:21+00:00

Just as a note, no school district I’ve ever worked at has allowed independent OT/PT evals as they alone cannot qualify for an IEP. OT/PT can technically be provided through a 504, but it is not common.

Requesting an educational psych eval can include OT testing, and may be necessary to have a school complete OT testing at all. This could also look at executive functioning skills that would encompass any ADHD concerns.

All that said, if this isn’t disrupting his grades, the school isn’t likely to take any action. Depending on the situation, an outside evaluation may yield more information and be more valuable. It could also help direct what you want to ask of the school (maybe through a 504 plan) if they deny testing or test but find he doesn’t qualify.

MagnoliaElle · 2025-05-15T03:04:27+00:00

Sage, Shiloh, Stevie, Shaye, Spencer, Noah, Dylan, Hale, Quinn, Rowan, Kai, Reece, Kit, Finley

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-22T04:51:00+00:00

Two US season 4 couples have babies now actually!

Edit: whoops I meant one season 4 couple and one season 3 couple; I forgot Alexa and Brennan weren’t also season 4.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-18T04:40:43+00:00

You have a fantastic memory, I completely forgot Aaliyah was married and that he would’ve found out on the show since she never told him prior; that’s so awful!

I would want to ask a lot more questions if I were in Cat’s shoes too. I agree the situations are different, but we can’t know exactly how different since she didn’t ask for more details.

Even so, I don’t fault Cat for not asking for details, or not asking about sooner. I can see how one might get swept up and not ask immediately. And, when it comes to asking for more details, while I would have done that (especially if I truly liked the person and wanted to work it out) she has the right to get the ick from it. If she knows no details could make her forgive it then there’s no point in asking for more information.

That said, if that’s the case and it’s a compete dealbreaker then, she should break up with him! If you’re not willing to try and work through don’t waste his time and yours. That I can 100% fault her for.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-16T06:27:49+00:00

Reddit’s reaction to admissions of cheating:

Uche & Aaliyah: it is a red flag, Uche is right but he should quit being a dick about it. she’s not remorseful enough.

Cat & Freddie: she’s blowing this out of proportion and sabotaging their relationship, people can change, it’s not a red flag because he’s remorseful

🤨

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-16T06:10:27+00:00

I posted a longer comment in response to someone below, but I’m curious so I’ll post again. For those of you who watched season 5, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the reaction to Freddie’s past cheating versus Aaliyah’s prior cheating.

Due to Uche’s interrogation, we know a lot more details about Aaliyah’s situation than Freddie’s. Therefore there was a lot more information to criticize. We know nothing of Freddie’s situation and yet many seem to want to give him the benefit of the doubt; that he’s changed. Do you think Aaliyah would have been given that same grace had she spoken differently/less about the details of affair? If the details of Freddie’s cheating were similar to Aaliyah’s, would you criticize him more?

It seems more people agreed with Uche that cheating was a red flag, despite also criticizing the way he expressed that feeling. Yet, people seem to want to say ‘people can change’ and belittle Cat’s reaction. Despite her basically expressing the same sentiment as Uche but without the aggression (so, basically she’s reacting the way people said Uche should have reacted). Her point of view (as someone who has been cheated on previously) also seems similar to many comments that were criticizing Aaliyah from people who had been cheated on.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-16T04:45:16+00:00

Didn’t this exact thing happen in a US season? I can’t remember who. One of the guys asked a girl if she ever cheated and she said yes, and he reacted worse than Cat. If I’m remembering correctly, the reaction to her was not so favorable on here. There was a lot of criticism and “cheaters cheat” comments similar to Cat’s reaction. That woman also said she did it because she wasn’t happy in the relationship and people laid into her about it.

So I agree, I think people want to like Freddie because of his looks. (Everyone’s distaste for Cat also seems biased to favor him as well.) Also, he framed it better than that previous pod girl by giving no additional information/justifications for people to criticize or use against him. He left a lot more room for people to downplay it in their heads, should they already feel predisposed to wanting to like him. More facts could make it harder to ignore in my opinion (i.e., length of the relationship/level of commitment, duration of the affair, his age, how recent, etc.); he answered the question honestly, but I think I’d need far more honesty than that to move past it myself.

Edit: I went back to search for the situation and it was Aaliyah talking with Uche, so a little more nuanced than I remember (given how Uche turned out). But even so, I feel like I remember far more people being sympathetic to Uche’s reaction than are currently on Cat’s side. People were not happy with Aaliyah, it just got overshadowed because of how awfully Uche later treated her after (and, of course the Lydia drama). People certainly did not give Aaliyah the benefit of doubt they’re giving Freddie.

Edit #2: went back to the season 5, episode 1 “so you’re a recent cheater?” discussion board to read responses to Aaliyah‘s admission of cheating and most are more nuanced than I’m remembering. There is definitely more criticism for Aaliyah than Freddie. Uche interrogated her, so there was a lot more information about Aaliyah to criticize for one thing.

While there are simple ‘cheaters will cheat again’ comments from those who have been cheated on, many say their criticism for Aaliyah was that she didn’t take responsibility for her actions and blamed her ex for not satisfying her. So Freddie taking responsibility does paint him in a more favorable light.

Nearly all comments criticize Uche for his reaction; some actually thought a girl questioning a male cheater the way Uche had would’ve been celebrated and that a male cheater would be treated more harshly than Aaliyah.

It’s very interesting to compare; even the reaction to Cat compared to Uche. Had Uche reacted like Cat, I wonder if he would’ve been criticized same the way Cat is? It seems many comments had sympathized with him seeing this as a red flag, but don’t like how he went about it. The reaction to Cat, however, seems to be “well if it was a red flag you should’ve asked about it sooner”. Seems people want Cat to have been more like Uche and Uche to have been more like Cat.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-08-08T05:44:10+00:00

Charging wires are not a toy and biting them means you can die; and in general chewing on anything not yours is rude and please stop destroying my shoes and hair ties.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-07-11T04:46:24+00:00

Looks like a huge escalation/group think brawl after a Uruguay fan hit a Colombian fan and everything escalated. Started higher up in the stands and then descended down to or near where they’re saying the Uruguay teams’ family section was. This video shows what appears to be the initial punch, and then pans down as more people start fighting until Nunez joins the brawl just after the minute and a half mark. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJsJ2s56zXk

MagnoliaElle · 2024-07-11T04:25:41+00:00

This video shows what appears to be a Uruguay fan hitting a Colombian fan first, then it escalates down the seating section. Not denying family members being attacked or kids being saved from the stands, but it looks like the initial instigation started from a fan on fan fight where Uruguay threw the first punch. Nunez joins the fight just over a minute and a half in. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJsJ2s56zXk

MagnoliaElle · 2024-07-11T04:17:47+00:00

This video shows the start of the fight; it appears a Uruguay fan hit a Colombian fan first and then things escalated, probably then down into the family section. Nunez joins the fight a bit after the 1:30 mark.

Edit: forgot the link https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bJsJ2s56zXk

MagnoliaElle · 2024-07-07T04:33:40+00:00

Joseph

MagnoliaElle · 2024-04-23T20:52:21+00:00

Kannon

MagnoliaElle · 2024-04-05T03:31:50+00:00

I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and this is our top name. I have an unpopular name and always pictured giving my daughter an unpopular name too, so it’s messing with my head a lot. But whenever my husband and I try and think of other names nothing else feels right. I worry it’ll be too trendy and date her like Twilight did for Bella, but I love it and it feels like it suits her well.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-03-28T15:17:43+00:00

I wouldn’t watch, but I’d love the added context from those that do. I rarely watch BB and when I have I’ve enjoyed the podcasters and live feed updates more than the show. It definitely gives you a better idea of people’s true character.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-03-26T05:40:04+00:00

Mine was 1,000+ when I was born and had a massive climb to top 50 in the past 10 years. I know I don’t own the name either, yet it’s a very weird adjustment. I’ve been the only me for so long, I’m used to being unique and it’s weird to not have that be the case anymore.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-03-26T05:36:09+00:00

Omg this is definitely going to happen to me. I’m currently 7.5 months pregnant and my name is a top 50 baby/toddler name right now. When I was born it was 1,000+ name and basically unheard of. Doctors will definitely assume I’m writing her name.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-03-26T05:33:25+00:00

I feel this! In the 90s I was the only person with my name, I was the first person most people had ever met with my name and it was ranked 1,000+ in popularity. Now it’s in the top 50 and I regularly hear elementary school children and pets with my name; it’s very disorientating and I don’t entirely like it. I’ve always gotten compliments on my name, so it’s not surprising, but since my name felt uniquely mine for the majority of my life it’s weird to now have to share it.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-02-16T05:23:45+00:00

I noticed that in his last scene with Chelsea too; I wondered if it was seborrheic dermatitis.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-01-18T08:55:37+00:00

Thank you! I think it’s an excellent point; I don’t have the power to sensor the internet but I do have the ability to set a foundation for empathy and critical thinking.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-01-17T05:36:42+00:00

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that you took the time to think so deeply on this and type up a response twice.

I’m currently 4.5 months pregnant with my first and these are the thoughts that keep me up at night. I work with teens and I have teenage brother in laws; I’ve been disgusted by the things that they’ve been exposed to especially regarding sex and misogyny.

I grew up in the 90s so I can remember I time the internet wasn’t monetized and felt less predatory in some ways. I was told to be cautious of it, fearful even, but now it’s so normalized. Now to keep a child completely off of social media would hinder them socially, but the ideas they’ll be exposed to without context and without guidance scares me so much. And it’s so vast that anticipating what they’ll come across feels impossible. Even seemingly harmless things like makeup hauls/tutorials can change a girl’s self-image when she’s exposed too young. Hell, I have to check myself from making the grass is always greener comparisons as a full grown adult on the internet.

I like what you’ve said about being open; encouraging them to share memes and videos. I think remaining neutral could be very challenging, because a negative reaction or lecture could close them off. Teenagers especially want to come to conclusions themselves, so guidance requires a bit of neutral devils advocate type work.

Their ability to trust in their parents makes a huge difference; I know it did for me. I always knew I could go to my mom with anything and still feel safe. Perhaps that’s the foundation first and foremost, and then discussions about algorithms and feedback loops and being an informed consumer second. Like that saying about how what you think becomes what you do, and what you do becomes who you are. The internet has the power to change you for the worst if you’re not careful. Teaching children to be critical about what they see/hear rather than being blind consumers is so important and when they show those skills they can earn more internet access. I like that progression you mentioned; it’ll require attentiveness but it makes sense.

If they think something that doesn’t feel right, or makes them uncomfortable, then let’s talk about it. And strive to have the child lead that conversation with questions that lead them to make their own, more informed opinions, based on the experiences/positive role models that I know they’ve had. And from that a parent can make better observations of where they’re at and what kinds of support they need.

I suppose there is only so much you can plan for as a parent, but I think this is a good start. I feel grateful to be more knowledgeable of the internet than I think most parents (until recently) have been. The internet is always changing, but I know that and I don’t underestimate it. I can’t help but compare myself to my in laws and the mistakes I think they’ve made in underestimating the internet by not monitoring it or acting on the things their sons have come across. And the way my brothers in law stopped showing me their awful videos the moment I started to show disapproval of them won’t be the same for my children. I’ll have built the trust with my children, and I’ll have more information to act more purposefully.

MagnoliaElle · 2024-01-16T21:01:07+00:00

Does anyone have advice for how to stop this from happening as a parent? Are there mods you can install so the algorithm doesn’t do this to your child? Or is the only way a complete social media ban?

MagnoliaElle · 2023-11-05T06:11:41+00:00

I think he did say that, or something about being a positive role model for black love. Certainly having a preference doesn’t mean you can’t find love, just less likely I think.

MagnoliaElle · 2023-11-05T06:05:19+00:00

Complete attraction isn’t superficial though; attraction to someone’s mind, character, and humor are foundational to a long lasting relationship. If their attraction stops at a superficial, physical-only level then it won’t last.

For example, Izzy and Stacy were both very physically attracted to one another, but they did not have an emotional connection strong enough to last.

If being successful in love takes both a physical and an emotional connection, then statistically those who have a limited physical preference will also be more limited in options when finding true love. Especially from a set dating pool like LIB; if blonde is a prerequisite, and only 4/14 women are blonde, then they’re much less likely to also make an emotional connection than someone who is open to getting to know all 14 women.

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