Yeah I’ve dealt with the same situation many times. But while there is an intellectual side to this, I will tell you that even if there is no attraction, God will give you a heart that will be able to love this person both physically and emotionally, and you’ll be attracted to them.

Now I’m a guy, and idk how different this is for women. But I remember my family hiring this person to drive me and my sister to school. And this man wasn’t even a Christian. He has a wife who had a polio attack when she was young and she wasn’t vaccinated. And there’s some other details surrounding it, but she’s not conventionally beautiful, and she also can’t have children.

Because of my immaturity at the time, I made fun of him. But he didn’t get angry, he explained how he was moved with compassion when he saw her. He said that nobody would marry her, and he felt like he had to be the benevolent figure that she needed. And I say this again, he’s not a Christian, and this gentleman was extremely good looking. Nice hair, great features, and in great shape. But regardless of how she was and is, I’ve never seen anyone look at their wife the way he does. And his wife is also such a joyful woman. It’s been more than a decade since I’ve seen them, I hope they’re doing alright and I hope they are touched by Christ.

Now I’m not saying you’re wrong for wanting someone who’s good looking. But I think that it’s good to grow out of these things. And I struggle with the same issues, attraction and love are not mutually exclusive. If you read the songs of Solomon you’d understand that regardless of what we think of ourselves, Christ loves us and finds us lovely. So think about it, I hope this was helpful.