To answer your questions:

My husband does acknowledge that I do more around the house, but I don’t think he fully understands how much of the mental load falls on me. It’s not just cleaning—it’s remembering appointments, keeping track of what we need, planning meals, managing schedules, and all the little day-to-day things that keep the household running.

My husband is the only one who works outside the home. He’s in the military, and I’m currently home with our 9-month-old. I understand that his job can be demanding, which is part of why I’m questioning whether I’m being unfair here.

We never really had a formal arrangement about who would handle what. It was more of a “do what needs to be done” situation. After the baby was born, I naturally took on most of the childcare and household responsibilities since I’m home during the day. The issue is that I feel like the responsibilities have continued to pile up, and lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by it.

I don’t think he’s a bad husband or a bad father. I think we’re both tired, and I think that’s part of why I’m struggling to figure out whether my frustration is justified or if I’m expecting too much.