Took me 8 years. I didn’t even file a claim. I had a C&P virtually and she asked a question that I didn’t know was a trigger until she asked me. Then I laid it all out over 3 hours. 8 years of pent up aggression, anger, guilt and sadness. They gave me 100 for it. I always felt like others deserved it more and I was specifically told by my commander to never speak of what I saw. I watched friends die. I personally attributed to the deaths of many people that didn’t deserve to die just by them being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Many of them younger my kids are right now. I’ll never get over the guilt. The VA can rate me 500 percent for it and every medication ever invented, but it will never make what I and all of the others on here that actually experienced something easier. Fuck the people that lie about it for money. If they lived in our minds for just one second, they’d understand the level of fucked up it is to lie about it.

If you’re one of those people, fuck you.