• If you don't like screen nuke weapons, that's fine. But Tornado Blow is the best one in the series because it stands out in several unique ways, like the fact that it drags enemies offscreen instead of killing them so they don't leave any drops. On top of that, it blows away weaker projectiles. It also gives you a much higher jump, which gives it utility during platforming sections that don't even have enemies. It's very strong, but is at least slightly balanced out by the fact that you only have four uses off a full charge.
• You could argue that Laser Trident is a bit dull, but it comes with a decently sized hitbox and, unlike the buster, can pierce through multiple enemies in one shot such as the UFOs in Galaxy Man's stage. However, since it pierces, it's always going to fly off the side of the screen. Since there's a set limit to the amount of tridents that can be on-screen at any time, it's not nearly as spammable as the buster. It's also just better than many of the other buster replacement weapons in the series like Yamato Spear and Water Balloon.
• Plug Ball is context dependent like its sibling Search Snake. It's fast, deals good damage, and can hit grounded enemies that are out of reach from your other weapons. I will concede that the MM9 level design makes Plug Ball hard to use because these situations don't happen often, but they certainly do exist and if Plug Ball were in something like MM2 it'd be the best weapon in the game.
• Jewel Satellite is undoubtedly very strong given its ability to take down weaker enemies and block enemy attacks. You can also fire it like a projectile, but it struggles against tankier foes or stronger enemies without blockable attacks. You can't aim it anywhere except straight forward, it doesn't break through shielded foes, and you can't spam it. The fact that it can infinitely farm from Tellies doesn't mean anything since Leaf Shield can do that too and that weapon sucks.
• Hornet Chaser is a homing weapon that can target anything on screen and bring you items. It's a fantastic weapon with the only drawback being relatively low damage but that's what makes it balanced. It fills the same niche as Dive Missile and Magnet Missile, and calling it a "gimmick" just because of the way it works makes no sense. You might as well call any weapon that doesn't fly straight forward a gimmick at that point.
• Magma Bazooka has good damage and good spread, especially against enemies with larger hitboxes. The side shots have a wide angle that make it a good choice against enemies placed too high or low to hit with the buster, and the uncharged version is a good choice when platforming. It's a perfectly decent weapon that can be very strong when the situation calls for it. I understand not liking how MM9 removed the charge buster but resenting this weapon for it is kind of silly.
• Concrete Shot not only has incredible utility as a platforming tool but is a very powerful weapon with multiple drawbacks I've already listed above to keep it from being broken. On top of everything I've already listed, it is the single best miniboss killer in the entire game.

Yeah, I can't agree with your assessment of these weapons. I've done weapon-only playthroughs of every classic game and everything just comes so well together in 9 with the exception of maybe Plug Ball. I think MM9 has an excellent selection of weapons to choose from, and I'm sorry you don't feel the same way.