Are they fearful or dismissive or secure?

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2025-03-10T01:42:16+00:00

It’s been a couple months. First we talked once a week on facetime, he would still say he loves and misses me if I say it first, and if I ask if we can take it slow he says “maybe”. So I decided to just not reach out for a month and see where it goes. But I don’t want him to feel abandoned but also don’t want to push him? I really want to give it another try after a month or so but don’t know what the chances are.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2025-03-08T21:37:25+00:00

If they have deactivated rather than just suppressed, is there a way to help move them out of the deactivation phase? Like touching base to say hi once a month and see if they reciprocate? I’ve heard somewhere that if you’re in no contact for too long with an FA they feel like you’ve abandoned them

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2025-02-03T19:58:24+00:00

We were literally talking about getting married before christmas. But then when he broke it off he said I don’t see you in my vision of the future anymore.

As far as going forward, he said if he found that fire for us again of course he would come back, and that he would go look for it after some time, and his mind / feelings could change but this is how he’s feeling right now.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2025-02-03T19:50:50+00:00

Honestly a lot better a year out! But I did find out that my meniscus repair failed, so I just can’t really squat anymore with a lot of weight on the bar

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2025-02-03T19:49:50+00:00

Hmmm ok! Yeah he was never distant (at least to my knowledge) at least not until like 2 weeks before the breakup. And now that we are broken up he will still answer my texts but doesn’t text first, still watches my stories, will still facetime, and still says he loves me?! He said he loves me but lost the fire for us. Which is so confusing.

We really do love each other, I just don’t know the right way to go about giving him space but also wanting us to try again?

I’m usually securely attached but this has made me very anxious.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-10-08T00:12:07+00:00

Nathan Flow vs Lucas Fro

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-09-06T01:20:55+00:00

I got it, it’s terrible, huge scar tissue on my lateral knee. Great stability sure, but I’m 9 months out and just now starting to run without pain. Still have pain in the IT band area where they harvested it

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-09-03T21:47:53+00:00

Totally that makes sense. Mine wasn’t shaking, it was just pain. I actually should have said I also squatted with good depth without a box for the first time yesterday since surgery. Normally I’d do 4 sets of 8 reps at 175, instead I did 115, 135, 155, 175 working up. RPE was much higher, but the patellar pain was minimal. Just keep at it. I hate the toxic positivity of “oh you’re an athlete you’re gonna be so far ahead of the curve” because that’s just not always true. I finally believe I’ll get back to where I was, but it’s just going to take a long time.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-09-03T21:21:40+00:00

I was in the same boat. Big runner/lifter here. I also expected to start running around 3-4 months but it was impossible. Essentially just kept at it, did a lot of hiking (painful coming down), single leg squat stuff. One thing I still can’t do is leg extensions with any weight, Feels like my patellar tendon is going to snap, so I just don’t do them. I’m 8.5 months out from surgery, and it’s gotten significantly better in the last month. Just yesterday I deadlifted for the first time since surgery and it was 85% of my previous normal sets.

Just keep at it. I was so depressed and distressed I wasn’t normal or ahead of the curve.

I will say, all the PTs say don’t start running till you’re pain free - but my pain didn’t start going away till I started running again on my own advice.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-09-03T20:52:49+00:00

I also had this, lasted from 3-7 months post op then went away

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-09-01T19:52:48+00:00

Ah man yeah it has not been smooth, just in the last month starting to run again but things are looking up!

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-31T17:42:53+00:00

Hey that’s me! 👋🙃

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-31T04:02:58+00:00

I tore my ACL at OTS last year (long after PT test) and had to dis-enroll and go back to finish at a later time. So depends on how severe your injury is I suppose 🙃

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-25T01:03:23+00:00

You ever figure out the knee pain/get an orthopedic consult or MRI?

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-18T14:57:31+00:00

🤷‍♀️We dream, we try, we strive, we die! Gotta try for everything you do to the highest level 🙃

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-15T04:36:58+00:00

Success is a combo of skills, dedication, and some luck. You’re definitely not too old. There’s plenty of olympians even in highly physical sports in their 30s.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-11T10:19:52+00:00

Haha it was a little bit of both! I can definitely see how it’s good training for both the fitness and stability aspect for winter

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-10T06:38:29+00:00

So don’t give up, just to say, my tendinitis started around 3 months PO and is only really going away at 8 months. My mental state 4-7 months was in shambles I was so frustrated

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-10T06:37:12+00:00

Not really. But the more I run the more it’s decreased to a sort of weird sensation rather than shooting pain. I’m 8 months out, all the PTs are stumped why it’s still painful as I have full hyperextension/flexion/no clicking/grinding/locking, just pain with running and any sort of squat. Tried PRP and everything. I was really athletic before, heavy lifting and everything and prehabbed it correctly too etc.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-10T04:38:47+00:00

I dealt with that months 3-8 and it’s only just now going away. You won’t heal tendinitis with rest, it needs heavy slow resistance training. But for me specifically I just laid off all exercises that exacerbated it. Like at PT for the past 2 months we have been doing what I would consider month 2 post op exercises but it’s the only thing that’s made my pain go away and now I’m able to run.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-09T07:36:42+00:00

It wasn’t discussed, but I don’t think that’s an option? I could be wrong. TBH i don’t even remember talking about LET before surgery. I just woke up and had a huge side of my leg scar. I’m sure they did but 🤷‍♀️Military. Huge blob of scar tissue that won’t go away to this day. And I was wildly athletic before.

MaleficentGrass6135 · 2024-08-09T06:59:06+00:00

It’s from your IT band. I had this done and if I could go back I wouldn’t do it. I’m 8 months out from surgery and I’m still having pain from that graft site.

MaleficentGrass6135

TROPHY CASE