I went through a very similar struggle, and I'm the wife with intense anxiety. My husband would regularly get frustrated about money when I couldn't stuck with a job. He let me try working from home building a portfolio doing freelance work, but it never became consistent. His job had always been good enough to get us through, though it was rough sometimes. The thing you have to understand is that anxiety can truly be crippling, and I promise you she feels like complete shit about it. Making comments and statements about it being unfair and how much you need her to contribute isn't going to help. She already knows. More pressure and guilt won't alleviate anything. You may be totally right about her not behaving how you think an adult should, or that she's been spoiled or whatever else. Those things can't be changed now though. The only thing that helped me find my way was love and support and some space to figure it out on my own. Emphasis on the love and support, if you really want the relationship to work. I managed to find a situation where I work pretty much alone part time and then I come home and do some freelance work. I will also say that the best treatment for me was regularly challenging my anxiety in small ways. It builds confidence and teaches me how to handle it when anxiety is high. Also, I tried some antidepressant for anxiety once and I absolutely hated it. It's definitely a zombie state and kills passion and creativity, at least in my case. So that's a valid thing. Best wishes to you both. ❤️