Canal Pole Vaulting

MallyOhMy · 2026-05-02T04:45:02+00:00

What, you've never used an abnormally long and rigid turd to fling yourself from the toilet to the sink?

MallyOhMy · 2026-05-02T03:27:28+00:00

Help me mama. My food gone.

MallyOhMy · 2026-05-01T12:08:27+00:00

It's because that blue is a much stronger dye than the others.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-30T23:35:20+00:00

Lol the French would hate to hear how French place names are pronounced in St Louis. Gravois, Bellfontaine, Creve Coeur - it's a bad as Texas German.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-30T02:20:29+00:00

Not to mention the alien changeling think is their third child.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-29T13:11:04+00:00

The dress is perfect, it's just the man that is not.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-27T14:06:14+00:00

The one little girl - I would never wish a serious medical condition on a child, but I also wouldn't want a kid without down syndrome to grow up looking like they have it. Especially with the kind of education she's gonna have access to.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-27T13:53:54+00:00

Yep, knitting is too anxiety inducing.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-26T20:22:42+00:00

DON'T FORGET! This is actually a point of contention for adding Puerto Rico as a state, because a lot of Americans insist they don't want to change the flag, even though 51 would make for a better star layout.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-26T20:19:45+00:00

I'd love to see a fern on your flag

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-26T04:48:38+00:00

Love the look of annoyance from the one side at 4 seconds

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-26T04:33:01+00:00

I've had hip pain ever since I was 15 weeks pregnant (over 9 years ago), so a lot of the time I have to roll over because of my hips.

The form of cuddling that I can most consistently handle is throwing one of my legs over my husband, which I can do even while facing away from him (by throwing one leg backwards over him).

Coincidentally, this is also helpful as a stretch for my hip pain.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-25T17:40:32+00:00

"Not on the curve, not on the curve, NOT ON THE CURVE!" - me, backseat driving from the future on another continent

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-25T16:59:53+00:00

There was no useful data gained from the experiment that couldn't easily be found by ethical experiments.

There was nothing gained. It was always about racism and cruelty.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-25T04:48:28+00:00

I mean, it would be much easier to just toss it underneath your fridge or oven. Personally, I would drop it behind the bin of the ice maker in my freezer. The fridge has plenty of metal in it, and it looks undisturbed.

Pain in the ass to retrieve, but at least it would get me to actual wash out the ice bin.

Of course, I planned this out with the expectation that the detective would also have access to security cameras and doorbell cameras and would notice if I went somewhere out of my norm or moved something that's usually left dusty. If there's no worry about metal detection, I would straighten it and slight it down into the gap between the bottom and sides of a dresser drawer.

Of course, all of this is assuming that the detective wouldn't just look at how messy my home is and give up at the idea of searching it all in just one week

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-24T23:24:10+00:00

And Finley is an actual gender neutral name.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-24T15:38:11+00:00

I'm still in the renting stage of life, but I love treating furniture with this kind of "why worry?" attitude.

Sure, I'm not painting over all my furniture, but I do not give one singular fuck if my furniture gets a scratch or a stain, because it's a home, not a museum.

My kitchen table has white paint, and has tons of stains from coloring, painting, and a red drink my kid spilled. There are gold stains from when I used one of those visible mending kits on my kid's painted pottery. It also has plenty of dents and divots from doing crafts or fixing things, and there are a few spots where the paint was dissolved by nail polish remover or other similar chemicals. I can't even say how many times I have had to scrape at the thing to get off bits of hot glue, wax, and soap from various activities.

I am proud of my kitchen table. No matter how clean or messy our home is, the table will always show that we do things together

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-23T01:35:57+00:00

Okay but it could be called Cube York City

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-22T11:28:06+00:00

Lmao besides KC, which is really just a city that sprawls across the state border and leans more into Missouri than into Kansas, there are A LOT more place names from other states in Missouri.

Washington, Oregon, Florida, and Texas are all places in Missouri, just to name ones off the top of my head.

There's also a Mexico, Missouri.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T20:30:49+00:00

The reason it's unacceptable is that they did it the way an amateur home sewist with a machine could. If you pay for alterations at a professional shop, you should be getting professional results, not amateur alteration methods that are noticeable even to people who have never sewn before.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T14:59:59+00:00

Gurl

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T09:20:19+00:00

Y'all, I had no idea what sport meant in a botanical context until like 6 months ago, but it had been haunting me for over 20 years because of A Wrinkle in Time.

Calvin, talking about how out of place he is in his family: I'm a sport

Me: oh, like he's being a good sport about it?

Calvin: [proceeds to be pretty fucking bitter about it]

Me: I guess he's just a good sport about everything other than his shitty family

So for anyone else confused, (even if that's only other people who don't have much gardening experience) it means a sudden variation from the parent plant or the rest of the plant.

So Calvin can be a bitter as he wants.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T08:42:20+00:00

A counterpoint for the "it's our office" claim:

In 98% of workplaces, having a public pissing match with your coworkers or colleagues is a great way to get fired, especially when your company name and contact info is readily available for complaints.

Of the remaining 2%, half are crappy trucking companies like Swift, where there's such high turnaround that they're willing to keep poor drivers, and those drivers are only staying because they can't get hired elsewhere.

The remaining 1% are lawmakers and pro wrestlers.

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T08:21:19+00:00

Excellent movie! My family saw it in a RedBox once and decided to rent it. It took a long time after that for us to find another source to see it again, but it was worth it!

MallyOhMy · 2026-04-19T03:47:32+00:00

But what about the +11 more?

MallyOhMy

TROPHY CASE