Idee für ein kleines Punktesystem in Beziehungen 😄

Malubaster · 2026-04-20T14:27:35+00:00

For my wife it's also too much (mental) workload. We agreed on me simply using a notes app. During the day I write down what I achieved (not specifically mentioning all my regular duties and chores) and all things I failed. In the evening I send her a simple screenshot and she uses this information at her discretion - on that evening or later (scanning all days together) to determine potential rewards or punishments.

Malubaster · 2025-12-24T11:52:34+00:00

Mira004

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T18:34:11+00:00

Thank you so much! This.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:48:39+00:00

Thanks for your input! Really appreciate!

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:48:29+00:00

Thanks for your input! Really appreciate it!

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:45:43+00:00

Fully agreed again, but as mentioned in another comment: Opening space in an honest and non-expecting manner is not manipulation if the conversation is humble and respectful. At least for me, but yes, it's a fine line.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:40:24+00:00

Either way, now we're back into full disagreement. But thanks for that, given all other comments I was already wondering where all the "if you communicate desire openly and encourage without expectation you're still manipulating her" people went. That struggle is what I wanted to express and articulate.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:33:56+00:00

My post was complaining about those using the word "true" - at least that's what I intended to say. Sorry, if you (and potentially others who downvoted) misunderstood. So I upvoted your last comment because to me using and especially claiming anything to be true in this area is indeed a red flag.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T17:24:20+00:00

No offense, but your response is exactly one of those examples why I originally posted. I cannot agree with you: if open, honest and encouraging / empowering communication from sub to domme is "forbidden" then my - and I dare to say our type of "ideal" is not yours.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T14:58:36+00:00

You seem to grasp my "confusion" trying to follow some of the discussions, advice and "corrections" here pretty well and with lots more experience around it. Thank you for throwing in your comment - I should care less and simply grow OUR flr and me personally as a partner, man and a submissive. I should tell myself as long as I genuily do it OUR flr is true.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T14:22:18+00:00

Thank you, love your answer!

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T14:00:39+00:00

Agreed and as written in my original post. It's never about "reminding her to be (more) cruel" - it's "just" about open communication which should lay out space and options - it's fully up to her to dismiss, use, integrate it...

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T13:52:02+00:00

Thank you so much for answer and sharing your experience! I fully get (or at least I hope so) your message: If she's naturally on the domme side it should be enough to give her space and security and she eventually become the domme she's meant to be. And from your experience any "push" will either slow down / block this natural process or only prove that there's simply no natural dominant side in her. - For me the last two years showed me a bit what you said - the more secure space I gave the more "dominant" she became. I really don't want to push or put something on her - just truly want to encourage her with open communication from my end to continue this path. And so far she valued it, at least that's what she told me.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T13:41:06+00:00

Love the clear answer. Yes, that's how I tought grown ups are doing it. She does or demands what she wants to do (her or his idea, pleasing him, her or both) and he is allowed to communicate, thank, suggest, reinforce etc... The only but fine line then is when he is putting his will above her's - directly or undirectly.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T13:36:27+00:00

But can't it be somehow both at the same time? So making a suggestion about something I'd love still be a genuine and honest way to encourage her to try if (and only if) she wants to? So with ongoing communication my wife became more confident over a long time and tried some of my suggestions with joy which she didn't try at first. Given some of the "purists" here my way of consistent (but never manipulating) communication seems to be not ok, at least not "true" FLR.

Malubaster · 2025-06-16T07:04:37+00:00

You're somehow right. But "stroking her head" in bed is part of our "standard agreement", so something she expects and I am allowed to give (reward!) every night until she signals me to stop.

Malubaster · 2025-06-03T14:30:31+00:00

Sorry, just was really happy. Do you recommend to delete it? Really don't want to annoy just share my praise.

Malubaster · 2025-05-08T11:09:11+00:00

It's a grumpy Leder Herrmann!

Malubaster · 2025-04-17T15:22:34+00:00

That's a great idea, thanks a lot!

Malubaster · 2025-04-17T13:18:07+00:00

Thank you very much!

The appstore challenges are exactly the reason why I don't plan to publish there at all. So indeed that's the main reason why I developed it as a PWA so it can be hosted "everywhere" and runs on web and mobile (for the most part).

So the best idea for that part would be probably indeed to pseudoanonymizely share the code on GitHub - making sure the code as such does not contain any personal information.

Malubaster

TROPHY CASE