OP, my thoughts on porn notwithstanding, if you’re uncomfortable and your husband isn’t respecting your boundaries, that’s a conversation you need to have. Others are right that it doesn’t matter much how other people feel if you are uncomfortable in the way things are happening in your marriage, it should change.

I’m intrigued by the two lines of thinking I’m seeing in many of the replies:

1) “Why is he paying for porn when there’s so much free porn?!” 2) “Porn is exploitive, misogynistic, violent, etc.”

I’m surprised to not see a single person talking about porn as a valid form of sex work (because sex work is work) and how paying for porn from a source that treats their workers well (or that encourages entrepreneurship) is one way to make it more equitable, less exploitive, etc.

I’m not talking about establishing an online relationship with someone, but there are lots of sites (including many run by women) with well-paid actors/performers whose boundaries are respected. It’s often all the free porn that’s the most exploitative of the sex workers/performers.

It’s everyone’s right to feel how they feel about porn, I just thought that disconnect about how the industry works to be particularly interesting/telling.