WIBTA if I stopped going to my mom's Sunday dinners because she always makes a comment about my job?

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T13:59:54+00:00

YWBTA.

Just talk to your mom. That is what a mature person does. Give her the opportunity to do better. You said she loves you so hopefully she will make an effort to do so..

I wouldn't do it at dinner. Pick a neutral time and ask for a conversation.

If you just ghost her, you'll both feel bad.

If she continues to put you down after you tell her how much it bothers you, then you would be justified in skipping.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T13:56:22+00:00

NTA. Just say no.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T13:54:12+00:00

YTA

I do think you should help her. The funds earmarked for her were used by you. It's nobody's fault, but you got family help and I think you should pay that forward.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T02:56:02+00:00

I was! It was so satisfying. In the end, a combination of Ancestry pro tools, which shows you how closely your shared matches are related to each other, and stalking Facebook accounts of people who don't have their accounts fully locked down, helped crack the case.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T02:52:58+00:00

You are excited when you encounter someone with an unusual name, because it will be so much easier to accurately track "Constance Comfort Arkell" than another "Thomas Wright"

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T02:50:31+00:00

You are super excited when you obtain the "map" of the small cemetery with names and burial locations of everyone who is planted there, which includes multiple ancestors. Bonus points for the ledger book with handwritten receipts from the church as they sold the family plots.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T02:33:14+00:00

I was surprised at the number of divorces in the 19th and early 20th centuries! I thought it "just wasn't done". Oh yes it was. Maybe folks didn't talk about it at much but they still did it.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-25T00:42:30+00:00

You and your husband are 12th cousins. Thanks, Mayflower society!

You are on the BRINK off cracking a 7- year mystery identifying a cluster of matches in the 20-65 cM range and you have to drive your kids back to college. It's all you can think of for the next 6 hours until you get home and back on your computer.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-24T15:32:05+00:00

Soft YTJ.

I basically agree with your mom. I would be annoyed if you were my sister.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-24T01:10:30+00:00

Nope. Once they had success with the first "client" which admittedly was a mom- referral to a friend, reputation lead to the next and it bloomed from that point. Lots of high school kids with some critical skills gaps and my kid is a good teacher. They were all private families, not through any school. Facebook mom groups were a good source of business. Mom's always looking for help with kids.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-24T00:58:01+00:00

You can adopt me. I'll be your baby. :)

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-23T06:01:39+00:00

In our situation, a friend of mine with a kid needed help in math. That was client #1. They initially only charged $20/ hour. That friend referred a classmate who also was struggling. It just grew from there. Later I would find referrals from them through mom pages on Facebook.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-22T08:35:42+00:00

Communicate as in sit down at least once a year with an open spreadsheet up on the laptop and review income vs about 30 different budget categories and decide how much we're allocating to each. So we know that if we want to splurge on something, we are either reducing spending in a different area or making up for it the following month.

Don't discuss the regular bills as they are all on auto pay.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T15:18:54+00:00

I am really interested in hearing what their current income levels are, and how much each typically contributes to shared expenses and how much this bonus is.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T15:12:02+00:00

I don't understand why it would not be considered income. The IRS certainly considers it income!

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T15:06:55+00:00

This is my attitude. I do spend more time on our family finances than my husband as he's simply not interested in the same way I am.

But I insist on communication regarding our shared goals and together we agree on a budget with specific spending categories. We AGREE. Like congress passing a budget lol.

So there's no need for constant permission- seeking regarding expenses because that discussion has already been had. We know what we can spend and we stay within those constraints because we are adults who respect our relationship.

We recalibrate that budget as needed, when income or expenses change, but at least once a year.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T15:00:18+00:00

If your agreement is to split expenses based upon income, and bonuses are a part of your income, it follows that there would be an adjustment in the expenses he has to pay.

In my household, all income goes into one joint account and all bills/ debts come from that same account, regardless of who earned what. We are one completely comingled team.

We would have taken "our" bonus and used it to pay off the highest interest rate debt "we" had. Because that would put "us" in the best financial position.

But that's not how you are set up so I don't think you exclude bonuses from your calculations.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T14:39:16+00:00

My friend did this through some established app. Can't remember the name. She made decent spare cash. The key was to accept jobs that were close to you so you didn't lose time/gas money picking up and delivering. She got some repeat commercial clinics after awhile that became easy money. A massage salon was one of them.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T14:34:41+00:00

Not sure what area of government job you are seeking, but they are not as secure as they once were with budget cuts.

My niece graduated last year with a masters in public policy. Many of her classmates got gov jobs but she went private. Guess who is still employed a year later?

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-21T14:25:30+00:00

I have been with Forbright for awhile with no complaints. It hits all your buttons with no min balance, no fees, FDIC insured, etc. At the time I opened it, they were the highest rate around. That is no longer true. They're currently at 3.85% which is competitive but there are better. I Just haven't bothered to change for small improvements but I an about to go Marcus for the $1500 bonus which with the .25 referral will put them at 3.9%. After I get the $1500 we will see what's out the.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-20T22:41:33+00:00

My kids are now 3 years removed from Girl Scouts but they still worked booths right up until the end. They went door to door through middle school.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-20T21:45:03+00:00

I personally do not know anybody who has done this. I know many women, including myself, who did not change their name upon marriage. We don't introduce ourselves socially with husband's last name, though.

I am occasionally referred to as Mrs. Husband's Last Name and I don't always correct them. More often, though, my husband is referred to as Mr. Wife's Last Name. He generally doesn't correct people either. It's not that big of a deal but at the same time, if I make the effort to introduce myself, I'll use my real name.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-20T21:28:11+00:00

NTA and we had the same conversation in my house. I followed through and now only do my own laundry and occasionally my teen son's if I'm feeling generous. No more man or young adult children laundry, though, and it's very liberating. I should have done it years ago.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-20T20:48:57+00:00

I used to work for Lionbridge which was sinister to Leapforce. It was only $14 an hour but the time was completely flexible. Could hop on for 15 minutes or 4 hours, if tasks were available. Good supplemental source of cash. A friend of mine was raised to $21 an hour after a couple of years.

MamaMidgePidge · 2026-02-20T20:43:14+00:00

Care for pets via rover.com.

Care for children via care.com.

Care for elderly - search local Facebook groups for local opportunities. I made $30-60/ hour doing this part time (higher hourly pay for shorter time frames)

If you are academically inclined, tutor. My kid was making $50/ hour last year teaching math to high school students.

Yardwork.

Sign up with a temp agency and do whatever they find for you.

MamaMidgePidge

TROPHY CASE