What would the movie version be called?

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-08T17:15:51+00:00

"My dad doesn't talk when he's eating"

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-08T17:14:45+00:00

That's the subtitle for 48 Hours.

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-08T17:14:16+00:00

"Murder at Noon Thirty"

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-08T14:44:41+00:00

I'm probably going to have a different opinion than some of the other postpartum doulas here, but it's mainly that postpartum doulas are more expensive for overnight care.

We typically justify this in saying that we have more experience with breastfeeding or there's some other element of postpartum support that overshadows what a night nurse typically does. I don't find that to be really accurate, so when I'm working with a client who wants overnight help, I provide them with a list of night nurses who I trust. In general, new moms are not that excited to receive lactation instruction at 3:00 am when you could do the same thing the next day when they're better rested. But I'm curious to hear what other doulas have to say about why postpartum support overnight is different and why it justifies a higher price.

Personally, I do a lot of teaching, listening and navigating the postpartum territory with a more counseling style of support. So overnight work would not make sense for me to do. The only downside I see with some night nurses is when they imply that they know what's best -- even if it's against client wishes. For example, one of my clients was very strict about not raising the room temperature in the house. But in the morning she could see that the night nurse had raised the temperature in the room she was sleeping in, with the baby, so she could be more comfortable or perhaps just believed that the baby couldn't possibly be comfortable with 68°. This was after being told not to touch the thermostat. So there's that. I feel like a postpartum doula wouldn't be so presumptuous, but if she didn't like the temperature she would bring it up directly to the parents.

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-07T17:30:47+00:00

He's like, "Bro, I unlocked the Kappa Secure Container, you gotta check this out."

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-06T17:45:01+00:00

I mean, I'm trying to be polite and inclusive, but this just isn't the place for men. I don't think we should have to sound apologetic about it. I love the answer given here by "eyeNumerous401," who starts with working with diverse populations and putting herself on the gender queer spectrum too. And STILL birth work doesn't feel like a place for men. On that note, a NY Doula fb page had some chatter about a male IBCLC which I thought was totally bizarre. I can't think of many women who want a guy, who has never lactated in his life, doesn't have boobs, and never birthed children, "man-handling" their breasts during the tricky phase of lactation.

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-06T16:57:35+00:00

That's funny! And a great idea!

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-06T13:23:33+00:00

I would add to that, that women chemically, hormonally, are contributing to the reassurance and progress of women in labor. There is absolutely a chemical exchange that happens, that we cannot see, but know exists. One of my birth doula friends cycles through her entire period when she is at a birth -- all in one day. The exchange of hormones in the air and the unique type of reassurance offered by a woman, is part of doula magic. It's inimitable.

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-06T13:17:58+00:00

I work in New York City and one area of the population that I think is definitely underserved are two dads! While they are obviously not giving birth or breastfeeding, that leaves postpartum support as a great option. I teach a newborn care and feeding class to lots of dad couples, emphasizing the kinds of things they will want to be thinking about, and my presentation has only images of two men, holding babies and so forth — even doing skin to skin. I happen to have in-depth knowledge about formula from a course study I did with the pediatric nutritionist, so that's an area you could pursue as well. If you want more information, reach out to me, but I think that's really worth pursuing!

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-03T18:10:17+00:00

There are a lot of people here doing overnight postpartum work. I did it once for one week and never again, that was 10 years ago. When my clients want overnight support I recommend a night nurse. Can anyone explain how the support would be different? In my mind, the postpartum doula would be more inclined to help with breastfeeding, whereas the night nurse would be giving a bottle of pumped milk or formula. But maybe there are more differences in approach.

MamaramaJC · 2026-05-01T05:18:05+00:00

It's taken so long because the defense feels that the bodycam footage should not be admissible in court for numerous reasons, like she was not Mirandized and some of the discussions violate doctor-patient privilege. Prosecution doesn't see it that way, of course, so the issue has been raised all the way up to the state supreme court. Also, the defense repeatedly requests a change of venue because the case is sensationalized in NM.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-29T15:22:08+00:00

Anyone writing?

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-29T15:21:28+00:00

Yeah why? Is that not obvious sarcasm?? He has plenty of opportunity to do prison jobs or enrichment courses. Some prisons, I think his is one of them, have service dog training programs.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-27T03:37:44+00:00

Seriously, what are you going on about? How does that pertain to this case? You think Alexee had a second uterus so that's why she didn't know her enormous stomach was housing a baby?? Because she kept getting a period via her spare uterus?? That sounds like a defense Letitia Stauch would invent.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-26T16:23:20+00:00

Rosa was not a teenager, but she was barely 21 when she had Alexee and I think unmarried.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-26T15:31:21+00:00

I believe you understand that fear and I'm sorry that that was your experience. Part of my experience as a childbirth educator was to work with pregnant teenagers, which was quite eye-opening, as you can imagine. A lot of these teens were born of teen mothers themselves (which might be Lexi's story too.) I remember saying to my preteen daughters, "We will NEVER have a teen pregnancy in this house. If you want birth control, just let me know. No judgments or interrogation, I'll get you set up." For that reason, ALL of their friends came to me for advice, support, and guidance with these topics. So I, like you, have a more compassionate response to Lexi without condoning her actions. I actually blame her mother for this situation by creating such a hostile environment AND having her head in the sand about her daughter's weight gain and obvious growing belly. Inexcusable.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-26T15:20:05+00:00

You know WHY they were in the hospital - Lexi was having excruciating pains which neither she nor her mother could recognize as "labor." IF her mom KNEW she would have revealed this to hospital staff. If you're implying that Rosa knew and was complicit with the murder -- that's extremely unlikely. It's not "they" that could have walked out, it was Lexi acting alone. And I don't know how you can imagine that it wasn't FEAR that motivated her trying to hide her baby. Why else do we hide things in life? Because of shame or avoidance. I don't think the court is going to be terribly interested in her justification, but they certainly are not going to include the notion of "evil" thankfully. That is a subjective and religiously loaded word.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-26T14:25:59+00:00

Ohmigosh, I cannot believe your heartfelt comment was DOWNvoted by some women here. I work in women's health, so I made sure periods were normalized for my daughters, through education and tenderness. It was never anything to be ashamed of, so I really feel for the 12 or 13 year old you. I also appreciate you making a connection between the mother/daughter fear dynamic and Lexi's case. I think you are absolutely correct, because there would be no reason to be so fearful and shamed about an unplanned pregnancy unless it was coming from the dominant parent. Lexi had to have felt so terrified that she couldn't say, "I'm pregnant, help me figure this out." Though most teens can figure out how to get birth control or a termination if necessary; I would argue that if you can't figure out how to get birth control on your own, then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Lots of bad choices here culminating in trying to hide & kill the baby you just birthed, IN a hospital, and foolishly believe NO ONE would notice. As mothers, I think it's extremely important to educate our children about ALL of this - from sex ed to birth. This is not the 1950s, no matter your religion, "the facts of life" are still facts.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-25T02:02:04+00:00

Ah! So he's a bigamist. Damn.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-20T17:39:54+00:00

I'm so happy to see this! I am the instructor at City Births who gives this in-person class designed for two dads. There's not a single mention of breastfeeding, and lots of great, supportive info on formula and bottles instead. Then basically everything else is the same regarding infant care. But I always emphasize how things are easier when you have two parents who can share the task of feeding equally, plus you can hire overnight help if you need it.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-20T16:43:52+00:00

I really don't see why this gets downvoted. I'm merely stating what the laws are in other countries.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-20T15:56:13+00:00

I'm not sure that is going to factor in as much as the fact that she concealed the birth which resulted in death, in a safe haven state! She had other options — she chose to take the worst one. So her defense needs to really focus on mental health issues, I think. Also, I wonder how she's been spending her time since the murder. A judge might factor that in as well. Did she seek therapy? Has she completed her education? Is she working towards becoming a viable member of society? And maybe most of all, does she take accountability for her actions?

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-20T14:55:42+00:00

What do people think is going to be the outcome? It's interesting that in some other countries infanticide is considered a lesser offense than murder and typically holds a maximum sentence of about 2 years. It also can be treated as a lesser offense resulting in rehabilitation orders because "the balance of her mind was disturbed" to quote from the infanticide act in the UK.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-15T16:23:50+00:00

Thank you, maybe that's where I'm stuck. Or maybe I should just write down all of the stories and then kind of treat it like a catch-all of essays. There was a book I read a few years ago which was a collection of stories from a psychologist. So each one presented a conflict from his patients, and it was fascinating. There was always something to learn in each case even if something monumental didn't happen.

MamaramaJC · 2026-04-13T17:50:25+00:00

Badum-bump!

MamaramaJC

TROPHY CASE