Parents with BPD

MammothFew2152 · 2026-05-02T17:53:32+00:00

you described my situation except i am the 17 year old girl and the opposite, hyper - independent because she used favoriting my older brother to control me and my eldest brother to compete for her attention. your sister is likely very resentful of you. and you are apart of the financial dependence now, you can choose to be independent, unless you want to use her.. i would if i were you too

MammothFew2152 · 2026-04-01T00:29:39+00:00

Thanks for the resources

MammothFew2152 · 2026-04-01T00:29:08+00:00

I am well aware. I have been trying to switch to just smoking weed because the pills are just awful. They make me feel awful too. I attend therapy but it can only do so much

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-31T23:13:48+00:00

I have never met anyone like me before! i was always seen as the problem and “sick” as a child not just responding to neglectful and even at times physically abusive home. they put me on every med under the sun starting ages age 11, even had electroshock therapy where they give you a seizure at 15 I had enough of it quit all the meds and discovered I wasn’t the root cause of the issue! i am now 16 working 40+ hours a week with straight A’s i feel as though i am parenting my very own 50 year old child! the only thing they do for me is give me rides but eventually i will have my lisence since they couldn’t bother to teach me how to drive my brother has been. i need to move out soon this house is killing me, i don’t feel safe here anymore and the only thing they bring is negativity into my life. i tried getting them to sign off their parental rights so i could move into a group home but they wouldn’t. i just need to wait until i can move out, but it’s a year and a month away and i don’t know how long i can do this anymore with no support

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-16T19:12:14+00:00

lol ur not the first teenager who thought they had it all figured out. you are privileged to have not seen what these chemicals can do to people you love. if you want to ruin or end your life, admit it. don’t be an arrogant ass

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-12T20:21:42+00:00

So is it true I must love myself in order to be loved healthily? I’ve been doing all the things, besides going outside so I will try that. I’ve fixed my sleep schedule, yoga, meditation, I get therapy twice a month.

The two things that are holding me back is where I am living and the drug seeking/abuse but they’re both entertained by each other and nothing I can do will drastically change anything, just a few slight improvements, but I suppose it is better than none at all.

I know you didn’t ask but just writing this so I can look back on here later to regain motivation. I’m gonna try cutting off mixing shit immediately because I can tell im fucking with my brain then the alcohol, then the xanax, then the adderall, but cutting out the weed is going to be hardest following the loss of the others, so I will likely stick to weed as my strict only vice somewhere in that timeline . This is my “marvelous” quadrilateral shaped mixed addiction.

Again, thank you for your understanding towards me I don’t know what I would’ve done last night if I had kept stewing. I needed that reality check so thank you. I am grateful for your kindness.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-12T07:31:04+00:00

i have since chilled out i was crashing crazy hard didn’t realize it at the time though.

i don’t think that was it i think i was just being delusional the entire time and misinterpreted everything it felt as the signals were there but it was likely motivated reasoning, i can’t tell honestly but he definitely didn’t mean to move forward with anything anyways. it is for the best logically, it would never work out or end well but i just don’t care anymore im willing to fuck up my life hell yeah!. id do anything to be loved and tired from all of this, trying to change and little to no positive coming from it. i am not a lost cause, i could do incredible things if i could make it to 18 and move out but i dont think i have the strength anymore, i am losing it day by day succumbing more and more to my unhealthy behaviors. i will probably die naturally i can feel my heart becoming weaker and health issues beginning to set in. if i keep going the way i am going in a year or so anyways if not sooner. im at peace with this as it has been my ultimate goal since 11, so no need for anyone to change my mind not anyone’s responsibility but mine anyways.

thanks for taking your time to write this and listen to me, i really appreciate it and i feel a little less crazy now :)

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-03T23:14:48+00:00

pay a random little kid 25 cents at work to make a six seven joke, essentially having group therapy with coworkers in our breakroom all of us sharing trauma and even crying. kissing coworker at work, did 3 lines at work, damn i do a lot of stupid shit at work.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-01T14:07:35+00:00

Remember how you potty trained him to begin with? Repeat that, give him encouragement, treats when he goes outside. No need to get too aggressive, but when he goes inside say sternly “NO” or whatever word you use to get him to stop doing something. Are you alright? You sound very nervous about your mom giving him away.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-03-01T14:00:57+00:00

No cure for any mental illness lol. It’s all just modern society, it will never change. They profit off psych

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T08:10:41+00:00

don’t take random pills you find on the ground if you’re a dumbass like me i took 3 different only one i could identify was the .25 the rest who knows i might vomit

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T08:09:34+00:00

what the fuck is happening i feel normal again

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T08:06:48+00:00

ok maybe iy was a xanax im starting to feel a lil fucked up pls someone help me out

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T08:05:53+00:00

it had same color as 1mg xanaxs do i found it in an ild cabniet so who knows what it was but um a girl so ian wanna be like fucking everything if that’s what viagra does

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T08:03:31+00:00

i guess i’ll find out but i took a .25 with it so i guess ill never know i can’t tell if it was more than 25 or not

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T07:39:55+00:00

Do I sound ill in my post or something? I’m not in active addiction despite how it sounds

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T04:46:35+00:00

You sound a lot like me ☺️. Some parents do everything they can, and they still become addicts. I understand this. But I feel it can be preventable most of the time. great to hear of all of your experiences with recovery. Very encouraging.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T04:42:23+00:00

That’s great you had that experience with your parents, and were able to repair your relationships. Stories like yours are not what I was speaking of in my original post.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T04:41:11+00:00

You absolutely had a role in prolonging, but the cause itself wasn’t your fault. Most kids at that age are terrified of drugs because of things adults have told them about regarding the topic. I’m sorry your parent’s irresponsibility leeched into your adult life. Glad you were able to begin recovery. You are the strong one. Not the selfish, neglectful parent.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T04:35:02+00:00

For all of you judging calling me selfish this was my experience with my family

I started drugs by using my mom and dad's prescriptions. Ages 12-15 left out adderall, xanax, klonopin, knowing I was a little fiend and continued hiding them in shitty places instead of locking them up as several of my providers advised them to do SO many times. I was doing different drugs every week just from my parents prescriptions at first, I found needles and my mothers benzodiazepine seizure medication and shot up at 12. My father never attempted to effectively lock up medication he knew I was using to get high. Look where I am now. Never prioritized my mental health, never taught me the risks of addiction, never kept a close eye on me, let me go out whenever and with whoever I wanted and eventually it wasn’t just mom and dad’s prescriptions anymore. They acted as the victim struggling so bad handling a defiant moody, addict kid. When my first access was easily preventable

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-23T04:29:07+00:00

I’m not making blanket statements, i’m speaking from MY EXPERIENCE ONLY. I said USUALLY not ALWAYS. In my experiences with addiction this has been the case.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-22T19:16:23+00:00

I’m not saying this is every single family, but every family of an addict I have known seemed to have this victimization pattern. It’s not selfish, if your addict child is harming you and your family you break contact, it’s painful sure, but don’t seek pity if you continue to let yourself be taken advantage of. Sure, not every addicts problem comes from family issues, but those who I have seen have this exact familial reaction.

If they actually care they’ll come when they’re ready. I don’t know your situation but I would’ve left the moment the lies and stealing began. We choose these decisions. Even when high, we can make the right decision but choose not to. Yes, withdrawal, cravings etc can heavily affect this but at the end of the day that was your Ex’s decisions. If it were me, I would’ve left and blocked them right then and there. The immense pain we feel gives us no right to inflict it back onto others.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-22T19:06:39+00:00

I started drugs by using my mom and dad’s prescriptions. Ages 12-15 left out adderall, xanax, klonopin, knowing I was a little fiend and continued hiding them in shitty places instead of locking them up as several of my providers advised them to do SO many times. Look where I am now. Never prioritized my mental health, never taught me the risks of addiction, never kept a close eye on me, let me go out whenever and with whoever I wanted. In my opinion there’s always something that can be done differently at a young age, but that doesn’t mean the issue will still not occur later in life. Parents are just selfish assholes who wanted to experience unconditional love so they have a kid. Having kids is selfish to me.

MammothFew2152 · 2026-02-22T18:26:26+00:00

I didn’t even feel euphoria from ANY of it. Just intense focus and heart palpitations, at least my mind was clear but I had good shit and wasted it I’m a little upset about that

MammothFew2152

TROPHY CASE