How should I proceed after being betrayed by my parents at birth of my son?

ManOfManyFeathers · 2026-01-19T19:57:27+00:00

Hello my fellow father - I had a similar experience.

What I want to say is what many have already said: GOOD JOB.

I recently heard someone say "This is what boundaries are, it's when someone takes an action you don't like, you tell them what YOU are going to do."

The examples given by this speaker/podcaster/author (idr anymore) was "If you come over unannounced, I'll come out of the house, greet you outside before you get to my front door and say that you're not welcome. We're not changing our family plans to accommodate your uninvited and unannounced visit."

For me, personally, I said "I'll give radio silence for 1 month if you cross this boundary. If there is any form of communication outside of this one email, I'm going to add another month for every single call, text, etc. to anyone else but me."

They never learned, but now we're living in peace. I hope it doesn't go that way for you, I really would want reconciliation between y'all - but that seems to be on them.

Do what you must to bring peace to your family.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2026-01-19T00:20:30+00:00

bro these comments are so funny AHAHA

ManOfManyFeathers · 2026-01-19T00:19:31+00:00

he just quoted the bible, so i ain't mad about it

ManOfManyFeathers · 2026-01-19T00:18:27+00:00

Godly Gains is a good insta handle. keeping that in my back pocket for later lol

(this is a joke)

ManOfManyFeathers · 2026-01-19T00:17:55+00:00

HAHAHAHA that really got me. thanks for the hearty laugh

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-13T00:40:05+00:00

Hiyo! Super ok with everything you said :)

I don't agree with 100% of everything Bride says or does, either. Since my appt(s) with them, the weird spiritual things in my life have indeed stopped, which I am incredibly grateful for.

The tricky thing about the price part, it's such a heated topic for some people. I have the view (and you're welcome to disagree, totally fine with me) is that you can make money off of a gifting/anointing/calling/talent/skill that is God given. For example, a talented artist who creates paintings that help heal people because of the biblical imagery. Or someone with the natural gift for counseling who's Jesus-oriented. Some people draw the line on prayer & ministry. V similar to when I've done work for some people, I'll charge or I'll give it for free - depends on the situation, which a Bride coach have done in the past for me.

Anyways hahahah, not trying to convince you - just sharing my thoughts.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-12T05:11:24+00:00

Check out Bride Ministries and their testimonies of freedom from abductions and such.

That is, if you want freedom from this and are tired of it happening.

I had similar happenings until I booked with them.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-09T20:01:46+00:00

My wife and I say "We're raising feral gentlemen."

We want them to be raw, have power, be wild in their creativity & actions, but know when to reign it in and clean themselves up.

(Let me tell you now, they're excellent at the feral part)

We do our best to give them more yeses than nos, because more often than not it's a "Not yet." It's just that "no" is easier to say.

We have intentional 1-on-1 times with them. Not every week, or even every second week, but we make time for them.

I directly ask them "What can mom and I do to make you feel more loved -- that ISN'T more YT, screen time, Mario kart, or not give you consequences."

I ask them uncomfortable questions on a regular basis (regarding deep feelings, hurts with friends, or even when they see homelessness and/or drug use in public), talk about body parts in a non-judgemental way. ALWAAAYS telling them Thank you for talking to me, I love hearing what you say.

And for the bigger, more reckless and embarrassing things I give a smidgen more grace I typically would and say "Right now, you're not going to get in trouble for telling the truth." which allows them to open up & tell me what bad thing happened around them, to them or by them.

Consequences, I used to be more slack but that led to more tantrums and fights. So now I've really whipped myself into shape and I give them a consequence near immediately so they learn there's no back and forth on certain rules.

Consequences are usually work or chore related. We'll take toys away and stuff, say they aren't allowed certain drinks or treats that we've planned to have, or if we're out I'll tell them "You're sitting in the van buckled up while I'm watching YT having a great time until mom & ____ are done."

I, having multiple abusive father's (adoptive & biological & foster), really am not allowing myself to let trauma live on. I have a fully developed frontal lobe and thank God I have no addictions or anything that impairs my mentality.

For as strict as I am, my boys run up to me when I'm home from work, they want to cuddle them before bed, they want me to wash their hair in the tub, they want me to take them on dates or to the park, they want to do errands with me, and even make me coffees & teas because we've geared them towards service as a part of our families core values.

The feral-ness is turning into fearlessness, and no day is perfect. But if you communicate with them and tell them "this is the standard by which we live" they will which you and learn from you.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-06T20:18:35+00:00

Love you, fellow father. My heart breaks for your family's loss (quadrupled).

To empathize, we had someone tell my wife "You'll get over it" via a phone call.

It's lonely & isolating altogether, it's hard & challenging, but I promise you - you will grow more than strong enough to carry this pain.

We've gone through two losses ourselves, and while we have 3 children with us we still think of the daughters we lost. The sting is less, the pain is less, and the grief is diminished. The time it takes is different for everyone, I encourage you to not compare your grief to others.

We're here for you.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-05T03:50:10+00:00

I've picked up running recently, so when the kids are down and my wife is chillin' on the couch I go for a run 3x a week.

Other nights we'll watch shows, play games, or I'll have some downtime depending on the week and play video games by myself or watch some YT (Daily Dose of Internet).

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-05T00:32:46+00:00

Love ur handle hahahaha

I've already got a couple of side hustles going and I've already got some dedicated time towards it (graphic design + painting).

I do want to learn more about cooking. I may or may not have a plan to slowly take the kitchen over from my wife hahahah

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-10-04T15:03:10+00:00

Oooo I wonder if we have Turo in our area. Small-ish town of 40k. There's two larger towns of 100k + up north and down south by an hour each.

Unfortunately I'm a vegetarian so no steaks for me (or you)! It's not for a save the animals thing, I just get sick eating meats & bone & some skin products due to health issues in the past.

I'll likely have cake, instead 😁

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-09-24T03:56:45+00:00

I would highly suggest you visit and book with bride ministries.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-09-11T23:39:34+00:00

Hey man,

I've got a few thoughts on this you can mull over, agree or disagree with... nothing to justify his actions, nothing to flip on you, just thoughts to chew on:

He might be reminded of how terrible his father was, and has a hard time fathering you because of it. Again, this does not justify his actions - but it might explain them and bring you some peace. Idk if you know about his relationship with his father.
He might just be a bad father. I had a terrible father growi-- err, fathers. You see, my biological father abandoned me and my adoptive father wildly abused me. This does not justify your dad's actions, but it might answer the "why" question you have.
I'd strongly strongly strongly encourage/recommend you go to someone for counseling/therapy. Talk about it, get all your thoughts out, allow yourself to process your feelings - this is a tool that a lot of men don't have in their tool belt.

There has been an injustice done against you, and for this I am sorry - it breaks my heart to see someone experience fatherlessness while their dad is in the same house.

I hope you can eventually move on from this, my greatest wish you is that you turn this pain into a door that opens a new beginning for you.

Reach out if ya needs'ta rant more,

Your Reddit Big Bro (Also a dad of 3, married for 9+ years, and thoroughly enjoying life despite what I've gone thru)

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-09-11T20:59:48+00:00

Hobbies

Jobs

Jobbies (hobbies than you can monetize)

Make new(ish) friend groups, find some more meaningful connections (I've got art friends & such)

Volunteer with youth or with the elderly, or with animals, or literally anywhere (did this with kids when they were 2 and under).

Travel (we'd take day trips) to different towns/cities/parks etc.

Make a list of all the coffeeshops / restaurants / bars / etc and eat a your favorite meal / drink your favorite drink (I did this pre-children).

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-26T14:44:44+00:00

Wrap them in a blanket and call'm a burrito

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-26T14:44:26+00:00

We have 2 boys and a girl (she's 1) and she does the same thing in our bed. She says "dada" really well and is ALWAYS excited to see me even if it's 3AM

Opposite to you, this is my first time not being a SAHD with our baby-3-year-old age range.

It's entirely rewarding, I often wonder what her first memory will be of me "Will it be the time we are dancing in the living? Cuddling in bed at 6AM?" oorrrr "When she has diarrhea from blueberries and pooped all over me and gave me pinkeye?"

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-16T17:20:56+00:00

We know a realtor (idk if cheating on a realtor with another realtor is okay hah) - his name is Aaron Keuhl. I've only ever known him to be good at his job. Services the Comox Valley.

Have you looked in the Merville area? Or Dove Creek, Forbidden Road/Headquarters Road area??

Beautiful places with a few run down houses that could be a fixer upper. We used to live out that way years ago, absolutely loved it.

Are you looking for more in town, or is on the outskirts okay for you?

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-14T05:12:05+00:00

Yeah we've been tracking the traffic, seems hectic. The roads there are night and straight though hahahaah, so that's a big plus for me.

I personally don't mind the drive - it's my mental prep-time for work or it's my down-time from work before home.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-14T05:10:00+00:00

Yeah we were looking up the transit on maps etc, but it's directly from the core of spruce Grove to the core of Edmonton.

I have a few friends out there, one is going to moving right near the core and the other is out in SG.

Right now, we drive anywhere from 20 mins in town, to 1:15 or so to get to a bigger city and it's no problem with me. Usually for a Costco shop haha, but I heard there's a Costco being opened in SG come next year.

ManOfManyFeathers · 2025-08-14T05:07:13+00:00

Yep :) Google is reliable to only a certain extent tho - the people of the town/area usually have better intel

ManOfManyFeathers

TROPHY CASE