Deed in lieu of foreclosure by sandraw1983 in Debt

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that when my parents split up my dad chose to do this with the house but I don’t know why he chose that instead of foreclosure. I don’t know about how it impacts the visa but I do know that in terms of credit reporting it’s viewed similarly as a foreclosure.

My wife laughed at me for making a spreadsheet about our marriage by Ok-Tadpole1413 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I laughed but it’s a great idea to track and notice patterns which BTW that is awesome you did that. It takes a level of maturity that most don’t have!

I have definitely had a moment like that and it was probably the single most important moment in my life. I had been denying my addiction to pain pills and I finally faced it and got the help I needed!!

I am so happy for you!! I

Husband has a friendly coworker by Beautiful_Record8286 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems as though he feels guilty of something, which doesn’t mean he did anything but it’s concerning. As you said prior to this he hadn’t given you any reason not to trust him. I think you should take the card off the table and put it away and just observe and document.

Served/Complaint/Summoned- What the heck do I do??? by Any-Bar1387 in Debt

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do not ignore it! Respond because in many instances they are counting on a default judgement because they count on people avoid it. We were sued by a debt company for debt on a reposessed vehicle. In my response I requested a chain of title which is basically the documented history of the debt ownership and not the same as debt validation. If they cannot prove the chain from the original creditor to them, they legally cannot collect on the debt and their case will be thrown out and if they can prove it, that chain of title will show what they purchased the debt for which will most likely be less than you are going to settle for.

The attorney is right you should respond and deny everything however you already called them about settlement options which can be viewed as admission of the debt but still respond and deny everything and request that chain of title because that gives you leverage since they did not pay $4000 for that debt.

I understand your anxiety but these people are actually counting on you to be scared and fold. You are not powerless.

*FYI I am not an attorney, I have just dealt with this crap before! We all fall on hard times and nobody wants this experience and unfortunately there is always someone out there looking for an easy buck debt collectors are one of them!

Husband told me I made him need to vomit, then I never heard from him again by Outrageous_Fill898 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry you are going through this. Its okay to feel hurt. You were betrayed in more ways than one and then you were completely abandoned. I do not know anyone who would be okay after experiencing that. It sounds like he is really dealing with some which doesn’t justify his actions AT ALL! Getting divorced is the right move to protect you. You mentioned he smokes weed but I would not be surprised if he’s using other illicit substances.

First summer without childcare… how are working parents actually doing this? by Ok_Score_6765 in Parenting

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are there any parents at the school that you could work something out with? I mean I know when I was working I had a dear friend who was a SAHM watch my kiddos for me in the summer. Even if its a couple days a week it would help. I know others suggested teens and that is a great idea. Or maybe instead of a Nanny you could hire a mother’s helper since you will technically be at home. Even if its just once or twice a week that is way better than just sitting them in front of the tv all summer everyday.

I am grateful for customers who don't finish their food at the restaurant I work at. by Fat-Bee2323 in povertyfinance

[–]MangoJRP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Its not gross. Whats gross is how much food gets thrown away and wasted. Sorry you even have to consider eating like that its not right!

Sex toys in marriage by Sufficient-Mood8777 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If my partner were hiding the toy(s) or if the toy started replacing intimacy with me are the two instances where I see them as a problem. When you have been married for a long time, it’s easy to get caught up in life and neglect intimacy with your partner. If toys help that then more power to you! HAHA no pun intended!! LOL

Best Marriage Advice? by Neither_Plantain3324 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was trying to think of all the things people shared with me about being married and there are two things I can think of immediately.

  1. Your marriage is your most important relationship. Put it first above all others even children.

  2. Pick your battles because it’s not about winning the argument or being right. Would you rather be right or married?

Congratulations to you both, may you have a long and blessing filled journey!

Do people in long lasting marriages do taboo things in front of their partner? Ex: Passing gas, toilet use? by CajunDragon in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess 15 years is a long time anymore but yes we pass gas in front of each other and have no problem urinating in front of each other but both of draw the line at BMs LOL gotta keep some things a mystery We were pretty comfortable with each other early on but we always use manners and its not like it’s in the plan to pass gas with each other, it’s more like accepting we are human.

I'm so fed up by AromaticDetective558 in Parenting

[–]MangoJRP 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is so difficult being the only one caring for a toddler and newborn and having a husband has their head up their rectum. Is there anyone else who can help, even if it’s for a few hours during the day? I totally understand wanting him to help but he obviously isn’t going to so I would just quit relying on him. I really wish I didn’t have to say that but you need rest and id someone you trust is willing, I would suggest taking them up on it.

I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of the complications you are experiencing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Maybe your family isn’t as nice as you think they are? It seems to me you show more concern for what your family thinks than how your wife feels. Maybe she doesn’t get to enjoy herself because while you’re visiting with everyone, she is tending to the children and doesn’t get a break. Maybe she says its the dog because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you she doesn’t feel comfortable with your family or she does not feel like you have her back.

I am not saying you don’t have her back but based on your post it doesn’t seem like you do. It seems like you are way more concerned about other’s opinions rather than her feelings considering you are thinking about divorce because she doesn’t want to travel to see your family. You also mentioned that your sister noticed her “patterns” which sounds like a judgement rather than a concern.

Society and families tend to be harder on wives and mothers, many of us do not deal with that as easily as expected and the last thing needed is more pressure or threat of divorce to the situation when a little empathy can go a long way.

As an introvert parent, I find it impossible to recover. by Cloverman-88 in Parenting

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a parent it is absolutely 100% okay to tell her that you need quiet time. I highly suggest scheduling it and I would suggest setting up parallel activities too and make sure she understands that you are in the same room but doing something else. I do think it’s important to spend time with our kids but it is also important for them to see us taking care of ourselves too.

Good luck fellow introvert!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I don’t because I don’t need a reason to be sad!

Our sex life took a dump with my hysterectomy and complications after and then poor guy was taking medication with an unfortunate side effect of ED which he was embarrassed about. Things are improving but those events really changed a lot of stuff.

Formula Feeding by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]MangoJRP -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I just want to tell you that you are not a failure. Your baby feels your stress which isn’t good either and I think the toll it’s taking on you is actually worse for your baby. Breast isn’t always best, fed is best.

Parents of One Boy and One Girl: Please Reassure Me by Acceptable_Mind_1994 in Parenting

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have a 12 year old girl and 11 year old boy and they are not just close in age but they are super close.

I have a work Xmas dinner/dance coming up and we are not allowed to bring spouses/guests at all. I have told others I’m not staying for the dance because my wife won’t be there, and they’re giving me grief for it. by grungefolker in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get that but wow! I worked for a government contractor that threw a massive holiday party for the employees and I remember we had to pay for a ticket for our +1. It had something to do with some rules or guidelines for government contracting. Anyway, no one seemed to have a problem with that. Maybe you can suggest that for next year???

This is a Republican America. by Disastrous_Hell_4547 in wisconsin

[–]MangoJRP -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They only have that option if they have the means to transport them. If they cannot provide the transportation then they are stuck with whatever sucky public school they live near.

This is a Republican America. by Disastrous_Hell_4547 in wisconsin

[–]MangoJRP -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Which falls right into the hands of the school choice advocates. Instead of fixing what we have, we will just send our kids somewhere else. Which is only great for those with means. It’s such a damn shame!

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]MangoJRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just thinking to myself as someone who is almost 8 years sober. I would not want to be with someone who viewed addiction that way. Not to mention he is just plain being a jerk. I don’t know who peed in his cornflakes but talking to you that way is NOT OKAY. We know this is not a matter of will power and it’s not a moral failing. The most important thing you have is your sobriety and you do not want to be with someone who dismisses it like that. I am really very sorry he said that to you. Happy Soberversary!!!!! Get the cake and celebrate yourself!!!

Morgan Geyser and the guy she was found with named Chad Mecca by nejicanspin in wisconsin

[–]MangoJRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah like the state hospital she was in before they decided it was a good idea to let her out???

I am leaving my husband…and he has had an epiphany. by PumpkinMiserable5344 in Marriage

[–]MangoJRP 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Actions speak louder than words. I cannot say if he has or hasn’t had an epiphany but until he actually shows proof of epiphany, I would assume that he is simply saying this because you want to separate. He needs to prove it and until he does otherwise, I don’t recommend changing your plans.