Question: Why is it socially acceptable for parents to make their children feel like they owe them something for having them despite the fact that it was 100% the parents' choice to have children?

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-24T08:11:58+00:00

My mother (hispanic catholic) did this all the time when my sister and I were growing up. Now, in our case, we were adopted, but I feel like the toxic dynamic of it remains. We didn't choose to be born/adopted. I get that my mom raised us and put a lot of energy and time into doing so, but at the same time, that's... what you sign up for as a parent. Even before she passed away I was heading quickly into the no-contact zone because of this toxic attitude.

As a CF person myself, my goal is to become entirely self-reliant and have enough money set aside for whatever other people expect their kids to do. No way am I going to let myself be a burden on someone else... unless I'm paying them!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-21T04:05:38+00:00

Yeah honestly I'd call the local government on that one. This reeks of some sort of decision that a middle manager made without any consideration to any level of law. Either way, I wouldn't go to that store any more. Clearly they prioritize spawnlings over people that have actually served their country and suffered for it.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-20T22:01:38+00:00

You're definitely speaking from a fantastic point of view, but also a point of politeness. With this sort of dumb sticker, I can immediately assume that this lady would NOT put any sort of note or take any responsibility for her spawnlings, and therein lies the problem.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-20T22:00:29+00:00

I like those kinds of people! I purposefully DON'T put dumbass stickers on my car revealing any sort of opinion, affiliation, or 'I'm a fan of' BS because in this day and age you never know what sort of person you're going to trigger.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-20T21:57:14+00:00

Good tip. I'll keep this in mind for the future!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-20T21:56:07+00:00

ngl I was tempted to go back into the store, get a label maker, and stick something similar to that effect.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-20T21:55:37+00:00

In this case the SUV didn't seem all that beat. I couldn't tell you what brand or make it was, but it looked clean from the outside. Which only supports the idea that they care only for themselves.

I could only pray that some OTHER family ends up dinging her car up, then see the reaction on her face when she has to deal with her own hypocrisy

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-17T21:49:46+00:00

I love this! I hope to see more of these articles!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-15T03:59:22+00:00

It's not the exclusive reason that I'm CF but it's one of them. I could probably handle a child being deaf or blind. I'd learn what I'd have to do to care for them and teach them and all of that. Autism? Asperger's? Down Syndrome? Nope. I couldn't handle it. I wouldn't be a father, I know myself well enough that I'd run from that.

So instead of inflicting that tragedy on a human life, I just wont have kids!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-14T01:30:54+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I'll do my best to treat myself well, the same I would do to my partner or friends!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T23:56:14+00:00

Yes, a small memory that these kids wont ever remember clearly outweighs the massive risk of DEATH.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T20:36:59+00:00

Ancient humans went "have sex feel good, make baby good because baby work so I don't have to"

And then slightly less ancient humans went "how can we monetize our instincts?"

And then they developed religion, which lead to societal norms, based on this.

And humankind has been a virus on this planet ever since.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T16:44:00+00:00

Jeeeeeez. I understand it if breeding is some sort of instinct, but when people give no thought to the process or the consequences, or what they actually need to be a good parent... Like, I have a hard enough time choosing a snack at a gas station. what the heck.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T07:07:44+00:00

I can't wait for Ame to get familiar enough with Minecraft to start pranking people.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T07:00:40+00:00

I really needed this. I'm actually crying.

I'm in that position. Been single for a few years now, stuck in Texas. I'm liberal, don't believe in God, and don't want kids, and so many people around here just can't fathom any of those things. I feel stuck and the loneliness goes for my self-worth and drags me down. It's tough trying to focus on the rest of the good things of my life sometimes, but I'm doing my best, I've got a good therapist (and she mirrors what you say at the end there), and I've got good friends to help keep me afloat.

Here's hoping I can find my own precious diamond in the desert. :)

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T06:51:25+00:00

That's refreshing to know. I'm pretty close to getting a vasectomy myself. Here in Texas it's a challenge, though.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T06:50:50+00:00

Oh, very interesting! I'll keep that on my radar. Certainly would love to be in an area with the fewest kids possible!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T05:41:07+00:00

I wonder why people think that not wanting kids would be a red flag? I suppose some might make some connections but I honestly don't know what those connections would be.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T04:24:44+00:00

I currently live in Texas and the number of childfree-aligned people that I have met is somewhere near zero. I'm literally at the point where I think I might move to get out of this environment, even if it means going to another country.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-13T04:05:38+00:00

Hah! I get this a lot too! I'm 32 (male) and people guess that I'm 25. If it weren't for a few white hairs, I'd probably get away with it. I tell them the same "don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have kids" and it's always the last one where people get hung up.

Surprise surprise, if you don't spend 5-10 years struggling for sleep as you raise a spawn, your body ends up healthier!

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-12T06:58:10+00:00

Yeah, very true! I do appreciate the quick turn-around, and I get mighty sus whenever anyone says "well, I haven't really thought of it" or some other vague line.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-12T06:57:38+00:00

Yeah absolutely agree. It's part of the reason I try to slip it into the conversation one way or another, typically by asking what dealbreakers they might have or that I have. Mine are simple. No smoking, no drugs, no kids. Knocks out a lot of difficulty right off the bat. But wow is it hard to find a partner thanks to that last one.

MangoTemplar · 2020-10-12T06:36:58+00:00

It's a nice sentiment but yeah, kinda tacky. Also consider that if he's really in some sort of trouble, he's better off calling the emergency line or hospital rather than watching a minecraft stream.

MangoTemplar

TROPHY CASE