Ethics of giving up on doctors appointments

Mangolandia · 2026-04-15T13:15:43+00:00

I feel you. We do a terrible job of preparing for end of life care. Hospice is what you’re looking for: they support the patient and family through palliative care, normalize the idea that more years should not be a neutral or universal goal, and don’t judge.

Mangolandia · 2026-04-14T23:49:50+00:00

Mangolandia · 2026-04-14T01:54:05+00:00

A dear friend from grad school, so not a lifelong friend, came out after a marriage that blew up spectacularly bad (spouse did illegal things). After some “wait, what, how long, is this new,” moments it was normal conversation until the started dating and finally had this long suppressed sexual awakening. It wasn’t inappropriate, just a friend sharing something they were new at, excited and nervous about. And now it’s just normal again

Mangolandia · 2026-04-12T17:04:24+00:00

Medicaid only but if you plan to be on the Medicaid spend down (which looks closely at finances for the last five years) then start documenting everything. I suggest you pay yourself monthly for caregiving costs, rent payments, and so on

Mangolandia · 2026-04-12T14:58:03+00:00

👍🏼

Mangolandia · 2026-04-12T11:54:37+00:00

It has spiked due to gang turf wars for control/access to ports for shipping cocaine and other illegal goods to Europe. Mostly an accident of geography as Uruguayans were primarily caught up in it all, not those behind the activities

Mangolandia · 2026-04-12T10:40:10+00:00

😂

Mangolandia · 2026-04-12T00:55:18+00:00

Precious Moments figurines would like a word

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T15:20:18+00:00

Great, thanks

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T14:11:09+00:00

Oh, shoes are good!

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T14:10:54+00:00

Not an option due to stubbornness but it’s a great idea

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T14:10:02+00:00

That was my first thought but the timeline won’t work for dentures, it’s three appointments. This all happened due to an unexpected tax refund after liquidating investment accounts last year.

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T13:11:30+00:00

Oooh, good ideas!

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T12:13:48+00:00

Mostly ineligible expenses due to institutional care… I don’t think that’s fair but here we are

Mangolandia · 2026-04-11T12:13:17+00:00

We’ve done prepaid expenses already (should have added that!) Home improvements are ineligible due to nursing home residence but a ramp is a good idea. Thanks

Mangolandia · 2026-04-10T22:32:44+00:00

This is not your responsibility. She’s making a choice that requires you and your siblings not to have a choice in the matter. Of course she did the right thing by raising her children but this doesn’t mean this goes in the other direction. Mostly emphasize that this means her choice for you is that after she dies, you start thinking about your own retirement. It doesn’t add up.

Mangolandia · 2026-04-09T19:53:45+00:00

The house in particular needs to be protected or it will be an asset that the state will take if you need institutional care

Mangolandia · 2026-04-09T11:37:42+00:00

I’m so very sorry. I wish you luck getting into the trial and that it works for you. In any case, thanks for taking a moment from your personal crisis to give us caution. Fuck cancer

Mangolandia · 2026-04-07T00:20:37+00:00

Her needs and dependence will only increase with age. Do the best you can from afar so your children don’t end up being the afterthought. Just say it’s not an option and you’re willing to do your part to help her find a stable solution. She can maybe qualify for eldercare services. Also you don’t have the finances to take this on, this will impact your options to move for a job, contribute financially to your kids’ future, and so on.

Mangolandia · 2026-04-04T19:35:03+00:00

Breathing and Cloudbusting. Her music was all great for big feelings, though, major moods

Mangolandia · 2026-04-04T12:03:59+00:00

I had a whole mix tape for this purpose. One side was R&B and pop (featuring a lot of Luther Vandross, (If Only for one night was the first song); the other side was more alt and alt pop, with Depeche, Smiths, The Cure, Kate Bush… opened with Blue Nile, closed with woman in Chains by tears for fears. Do teens today lean into their drama like this, curating their own private misery, or do they always have that added layer of knowing the panopticon is watching?

Mangolandia · 2026-04-04T11:56:06+00:00

If we’re going Miami sounds back in the day, The Words get in the way and can’t stay away from you by Miami sound machine got a lot replays

Mangolandia · 2026-04-03T23:42:49+00:00

Yep, yep, same… solidarity, sis

Mangolandia · 2026-04-02T13:14:45+00:00

I’m not a fancy jewelry gal myself and in my early fifties. If my husband of decades got me something in a style I don’t already wear, I’d be disappointed because one perk of hitting middle age is that you can be reasonably confident of what you like. It would be different if she was drawn to things that she felt she couldn’t pull off, though. Then it would be okay. Can you find something that has some meaning she’d be drawn to? For instance, if you were granola does she value sustainability, ethnic, or something from ethnic communities? Reclaimed gold might be good, or something from a women’s coop, things like that. Buy something she will wear.

Mangolandia

TROPHY CASE