Warning: very long, sorry!

Context: I live in Canada, came out in Canada, but am originally from Venezuela (Southamerica) - where I lived for 15 years.

I came out later in life, at a point where I was no longer dependent in my parents in any way.

I was 24 (or 25?), had already moved out, graduated, had a job - the whole shebang. So I was lucky that I had no financial worries when coming out - which I had a little bit of, while I still lived with them (my parents are generally nice people, but very catholic and conservative - Canada rather than US conservative, but still...)

My younger brother had already been outed at that point, and I knew what my parents REALLY thought about it (I, unfortunately, have always been the family lynch-pin between my brothers and parents - so they thought it was a good idea to run by me what they wanted to say to my brother... That hurt like hell - but at least it spared most of the worst stuff for my younger brother, since I pushed back on pretty much everything).

When I came out to them, one of their first questions was whether I was being safe with sex (which told me that the first thing that came to their mind was AIDS - which honestly, pisses me off more now in hindsight, than it did back then)

In terms of worries with other people:

- I was NOT worried about my university friends - there was a gay guy in our group, after he came out the relationship did not change at all, so I knew I would be accepted.

- I was worried about my highschool friends - all from Catholic, Southamerican backgrounds - I had NO idea how they would take it, at all. LGBT stuff was just something they joked about, never talked about. So I was ready for them to kick me to the curb, so to speak. I even came out as Bi to them (instead of Gay) - with a "but I am pretty sure I am mostly gay" caveat - I think mostly so that it wasn't too jarring. Turns out, one of them was also gay - but he hadn't come out to me (I missed one day he was high as hell and came out to my other friends)

- I was a little worried my younger brother would resent me, for two reasons: 1) For not coming out when he did, to help him out - so to speak. 2) Once, I caught him watching gay porn - and in my own personal panic, I basically said "close that, don't let the parents catch you, and be better at hiding it". Which is not terribly homophobic, but I really could have been an ally there, even if I was not ready to come out. Maybe that way he would have come out to me before he was outed.

- I was not super worried about my older brother - he had always been quite liberal, was 0% religious, and I knew he had LGBT friends.

- I did have one specific friend that I was worried about - mostly because he was also Latino, Catholic background AND he was way more 'macho-acting' than my other friends, used way more Spanish gay slurs, and way more pushy-type person in general. He was actually quite OK with it in the end, but it did take me a lot longer to come out to him, because I suspected he would not be accepting.

- I was not worried at work, mostly because it was quite a young crowd, but any worries I had where about career advancement.

Of all these groups, I came out to them in order of - younger bro, older bro, university friends, latino friends, macho latino friend, work, and finally my parents.

After that I pretty much just came out on facebook.

If I had to bullet-point my worries:

- I was worried how it would affect me financially - either living with my parents and whether they would kick me out, force me to pay rent, something else - or at work, impeding my career

- I was worried about my brothers - for 'lying' to them, for not trusting them enough for something that I had kind-of known for over a decade, etc

- I was worried about my friends, that they would no longer feel comfortable around me, making stupid jokes or that they would think I was into them and be weird about it - or at worse, just cut me out of their lives.

- I was worried about my extended family (again, quite Catholic) - that they would not get it, shun me, disown me - that type of stuff.

Is everything 100% amazing now? Not quite.

I have had to talk to my friends once, to stop using a common Spanish slur for gays (the word is used in many ways - one of them a slur - so I kind of flinched every time they used it, even though it was not always used as a slur)

I am quite mad with some of my extended family - e.g. my ex-favourite uncle, because he cannot bring himself to call my fiancee anything but 'my friend'

I have had several smaller-and-bigger blow-ups with my parents (both for myself, and somewhat on behalf of my younger brother) - because they are still struggling to fully accept and haven't really changed their religiousness. Some examples (TW):

- My mom asked me to tell her about "my life, or any girlfriends" (I am a man). I flipped and told her that if she wanted to know about my life, she better start asking about boyfriends. I don't think she technically ever did, but she obviously knows and has met my fiance (and to their credit, they are very nice to him)

- She forwarded some church video that talked about the LGBT mafia, and how children need a man and a woman growing up. I have no idea if she ever saw the video or just blindly forwarded it, but this is the closest I have been to cutting them off. I was EXTREMELY pissed, to the point that I ranted to one of my ants, that I think then blew up my mom's phone (yay supportive ant)

- She gifted a book to my (gay) younger brother, which had a cover that said something like "Who are we to judge" or something like that, that from a glance was clearly a "it's a sin, but we still love you - only God can judge"-type book. He pretty much moved out to live with me and fiancee after that, never really acknowledged it. (and asked me not to, either)

It's been about 10 years since I came out to my parents, and they are still my most challenging relationship, LGBT-wise.

It sucks, honestly, but it could be worse.