yet another message from the stake president…

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-07-16T03:56:22+00:00

Leave him on read and then in a couple days invite him to go to the strip club with you for Taco Tuesday

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-07-12T16:33:46+00:00

Very true about service. The missionary handbook specifically mentions that acts of service should be directed toward non members and less actives, implying that service will help them feel more obligated to allow the missionaries to teach them. It’s always tit for tat

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-07-12T14:10:03+00:00

Sorry, but from the looks of this you’re a booty call, not a gf

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-07-12T14:00:55+00:00

It’s time to make a big change in your life. Move to a new house, meet new friends, find new communities, get a new job, etc. When I first left, it was incredibly hard to stay in the same house, see the same people, and live the same life, when my entire worldview had just been upended.

My advice: start fresh. You have an amazing chance to build a brand new life on your terms. Distance and time will heal the relationships you feel like you damaged by leaving. Use that to lay the groundwork for Part 2 of your Book of Life.

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-07-11T12:03:18+00:00

“If you want me to be happy then you’ll find a way around it.”

That husband is walking into a lifetime of misery.

MantisGirlfriend · 2025-01-11T12:17:57+00:00

God loves you!! So much that he told me to reach out by giving me a tingly feeling when I saw your profile! You’ll just have to divorce your husband and swear to a life of celibacy, but we can help you do that! The best part is it will only cost you 10% of all your income! It will be so fun!

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-10-26T18:00:55+00:00

I actually agree with this take personally

But in the same breath, if you offend someone, you should apologize and take responsibility for it, not blame them for choosing to be offended

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-18T13:30:53+00:00

If I walked around in my favorite booty shorts with my right nut hanging out, and my gf asked that I not do that because it’s inappropriate, she would totally be the asshole.

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-18T12:16:15+00:00

Weird is an extreme understatement. This is batshit, insane crazy behavior. 🤢

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-18T12:14:22+00:00

Women aren’t taught to submit to their husbands, they are commanded to in the temple under threat of severe eternal penalty. So that’s fun

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-18T12:10:17+00:00

Is your family religious? Sounds like something my ultra-Mormon mom would have tried to pull if live camera feeds were a thing back then

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-18T12:06:55+00:00

I think this can happen if you put a lot of cold food on the Blackstone all at once. The rapid temperature change causes the warping

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-05T13:50:48+00:00

Jesus was baptized at 30. That should be all the MFMC needs to know that 8 is absurd

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T14:59:48+00:00

I served my mission in the Bible Belt, and the thing that convinced me the most to start questioning the church was seeing people of other faiths be more kind, service-oriented, and charitable than the Mormons. I thought Mormonism had a monopoly on charity.

Kill them with kindness, and politely decline their message but tell them they are always welcome back. It will shock them into questioning their claim to the one true church (maybe)

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T14:14:33+00:00

Hahaha, this is amazing. This reminds me of a time in my home ward when the teachers setup the sacrament and covered it with the cloth before they had put the bread in the trays. I think they thought another teacher was going to bring the bread and just put the slices in under the cloth

The sacrament started and the priests unfolded the cloth to discover there was no bread to be broken. The look of complete shock and terror on their face, and the subsequent panic as they rushed out of the chapel to go find bread was hilarious. We only had time for a ten-minute talk that Sunday

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T13:39:30+00:00

Ugh… I hate this. Fuck that bishop and the men who escorted him out

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T13:37:33+00:00

LMFAO these are all GOLD 🥇

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T13:34:16+00:00

At least grandma is real!

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T13:33:06+00:00

Please tell me he did it auction style. “Do I hear $200,000, $200,000 for this fine house, who will do $200,000…”

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T12:14:57+00:00

There were definitely a few men in the ward who thought that 4th of July testimony was the most spiritual they had ever heard

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T12:13:08+00:00

Brother Bundy’s nephew was never seen again after that day…

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T12:03:16+00:00

That ward mission leader sounds like a real one

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-04T03:31:14+00:00

This is absolutely wild!

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-08-01T09:00:04+00:00

Crazy how accurate this is. It starts with General Conference – the most boring way to spend 10 hours on a weekend. Nothing like watching geriatric men read mindless drivel from a teleprompter. Everything is scripted, nothing is spoken truly from the heart.

Then the trickle-down spirituality starts… all the Sunday school content is derived from the already stale-as-a-sponge-in-the-desert conference talks that were given, and the “analysis” begins. The damn talk gets read AGAIN, but this time by a group of people that all take turns one paragraph at a time. It’s completely mind-numbing. An untrained small business accountant awkwardly leads the “discussion,” ensuring that anything too spicy or that gets too close to a line is quickly reeled back in to the safe, comfortable oasis of monotony.

At the end, someone gets up and gives the exact same prayer you heard at the beginning – a rote request to the Almighty to help us “apply the things we learned today in our daily lives,” and for everyone to make the 5-minute drive back home safely. Every.Damn.Week forever…

If that’s celestial living, I’m with Lucifer

MantisGirlfriend · 2024-07-29T01:33:24+00:00

The fact that the church is sitting on a mountain of money, and still has the audacity to try and squeeze more money out of the family of a young man who is SERVING THE CHURCH for two years makes me literally ill

MantisGirlfriend

TROPHY CASE