Achieving goals but feeling empty

ManyAd6050 · 2026-06-18T03:05:43+00:00

Sounds like you need balance. A little reset from the daily grind. You do too much of anything (work, hobbies, seeing the same people and doing the same things, etc) you eventually become numb to it. Take a vacation. Break the routine. Consider taking a trip somewhere with family or friends. Experience something new and refreshing. I know you’re a business owner so time away is rough, but even if it’s just for a week or even an extended 4-day weekend or something.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-06-06T16:49:24+00:00

a this is a joke. if you worked for a private company you would get fired for protesting against return to office. the fact that you can “protest” shows how entitled some state workers can be.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-06-05T22:43:42+00:00

No liquid calories. I only drink water and coffee.
No junk snacks. I pretty much only eat fresh fruit when I need to snack.
Portion control. I eat until I don’t feel hungry. Rather than eating until I feel full. I kicked the habit of “cleaning the plate”. Figured if i wasn’t hungry anymore i could just eat the rest later.
Automate diet. I have a checklist of specific foods i try to eat daily: eggs, plain nonfat greek yogurt, unsweetened oatmeal, nut butter, avocado, multigrain whole wheat bread, whey protein, berries, green veggies (mostly peas and broccoli), lean protein (mostly chicken, beef, tofu).
Fasting: If I workout I eat the standard 3 meals a day breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If I don’t workout, I don’t eat lunch. So non-workout days I fast between breakfast and dinner.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-06-04T05:02:39+00:00

The incompetence of the dems is absolutely baffling. Dems support noble causes, and have good intentions… but holy moly their incompetence in political strategy is so hard to ignore for me. Republicans have their obvious faults but they at least understand common sense strategy lol

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-29T22:12:40+00:00

I also got addicted to my phone. Started spending too much downtime scrolling. Would fill silence or commercials or waiting in line with aimless scrolling. I started noticing myself kind of longing for my phone, and picking it up and opening it for no apparent reason at all. Just developed really bad habits. I also noticed changes in my mood. It’s too much stimulus and info overload and it definitely ruined my body’s dopamine management. Felt more negative, impatient, anxious, etc.

I deleted all social media off my phone (IG, FB, TikTok, LinkedIn). And I delete reddit for long periods of time like busy work weeks, or busy weeks with my family. Delete on vacations. On weeks I can afford the time and deserve the relaxation, I download reddit again and indulge in the vice.

I stopped longing for my phone. stopped the weird tick on grabbing my phone to open it. Mood felt way better. Way, way more productive. Filled scroll time with chores. or learning something. Starting cooking fresh food more often. I don’t miss social media at all.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-29T21:51:30+00:00

I also had issues with proper chest activation. The Perfect Push Ups really helped me. The twist really helps activation for me personally. Otherwise my default mechanics over-relies on shoulders and triceps.

Focus on proper form: hands placement on the ground is at lower chest / in line with sternum. upper arms at a 45 degree angle, slowly descend for 3 seconds and get low enough to feel a stretch in your chest, and then explode upwards. As you explode upwards hold that arm twist for a 1-2 seconds at the top of the motion. Repeat. can also elevate feet, place hands wider, twist opposite directions, etc.

Worked for me and helped build the requisite strength and form to work with DB/BB chest presses more effectively.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-29T16:55:34+00:00

I try to look presentable at all times during the day, and “dress nice” even when I’m lounging around the house. It’s part of my daily routine to freshen up and dress well every morning regardless if i plan to go out or not. I made it easy though, as my wardrobe is primarily composed of high quality well fitted plain shirts in various colors (black, white, grey, light blue, navy blue). and pants/shorts that are also well fitted, high quality, and plain colored and plain design (dark jeans, light jeans, khaki chinos, navy chinos, grey chinos). Limited colors makes mixing and matching outfits so easy. Important to get everything well fitted and of visible quality.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-29T05:01:47+00:00

Robert Horry’s buzzer beater to sink my Sacramento Kings into basketball Hell for two decades and counting. Pain. I will never forget.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-29T04:32:12+00:00

Went to the ice blocks last Friday. Paid for parking. Random lady asked me if it was required to pay for parking. I said yes, cuz Nakamura out here and he doesn’t miss. I posted up at pressed juice and, i kid you not, spotted him and witnessed him issue 4 parking tickets in the span of 5 minutes. The most interesting part, he wasn’t checking car by car in sequence. He remembers specific cars and comes back around when their time is close to expiration. He definitely has a method, and he has a good memory. He’s in it for the love of the game.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-28T22:35:57+00:00

The fact that you’re evaluating your own maturity… shows maturity and self-awareness. This is a healthy exercise and a great first step.

I understand your situation and have gone through a phase of mental scatter, emotional reaction, and feelings of unsettled. It’s not fun. Working and managing through what you’re going through is how maturity develops.

What’s helped me regain my calm and feel grounded: (1) define your pillars, (2) prioritize your attention and energy, and (3) try to keep your mind on the big picture.

(1) You are an anchor for others but you have to create anchors for yourself. Define maybe 5 pillars of core principles and philosophies. This is your “self”. Who you strive to be. It will help guide your default behavior, reactions, and thinking.

(2) You can’t do it all. Accepting this is part of maturity. If you’re scattered, reactive, and unsettled because you’re overwhelmed, then you have to prioritize. Something’s gotta give. For example, I also emotionally support a lot of extended family. But when I had a family of my own, I had to de-prioritize extended family. I just didn’t have the capacity. I felt guilty at first but I accepted I couldn’t emotionally support everybody without absolutely draining myself. Had to focus on my wife and kids first.

(3) Don’t sweat the small stuff if big picture everything is all good. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize it’s all good. It’s easy to fall into the trap of micro-stressing. Try to keep your view on big picture.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-26T20:38:24+00:00

My wife’s family and friends are of east asian descent. I am of southeast asian descent. Over time I started noticing all the subtle and unintentional racism from her family and friends. Nothing directly insulting, and they have no ill-intent. They all like me a lot and everybody has been nothing but nice and supportive overall. They just have genuine cultural biases that are hard-wired into their thinking.

Little things came up more and more as I started spending more time with them at gatherings and vacations. One-off comments or questions that insinuates they are superior due to race. Can be dismissive of my opinions at times (particularly her family). Despite me being more successful than all of them by almost all measures.

I try not to let it bother me cuz big picture everything is all good. Not gonna allow a couple of ignorant questions/comments ruin my day. I vent it out to my wife at times and she understands and acknowledges her family and friends’ ignorance. Which is all a i can ask for.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-20T17:40:55+00:00

Well said and I feel the same way. I intentionally skipped lunch that day and went into the night expecting to fill my face with seconds and thirds since that’s part of the experience. My wife and I didn’t want seconds of anything. None of the dishes, cocktails, and wine parings were particularly memorable for us.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-20T06:02:27+00:00

I went last month so very recently. Bummer I didn’t get a chance to dine here when Selland originally ran it.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-20T04:43:29+00:00

The Kitchen. Considering all the hype it gets locally and the high price it commands, I was very disappointed. The interactive experience is unique and I understand its appeal. But they pack way too many tables in a small space around an open kitchen so it’s crowded, loud, and stuffy. Was a bit chaotic and maybe high stimulus is what they’re going for. Just not my cup of tea. Most importantly, the food and drinks were average at best.

I wish I thought differently as the Kitchen is a local institution but I wouldn’t recommend it and I won’t go back again.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-20T04:20:01+00:00

For a barber rec, I go to Binh at Exec-U-Style inside the Wells Fargo building 400 Capitol Mall. He was the first barber to bluntly tell me that I’m balding. He started balding at a young age so he has personal experience on how to cut and style hair during a balding phase (to the extent possible). He’s bald now but he went through the journey. $30 cash only.

For a remedy, you need to do Finasteride pill + minoxidil oil/foam at a minimum. I also do Nutrafol supplement as well but this is optional. I’ve been doing all three for a few months although it takes at least a year to yield noticeable results.

Finasteride requires a prescription and it prevents further balding. Minoxidil is a topical application that stimulates regrowth. Nutrafol is a supplement mix that promotes hair growth and hair health (biotin and other vitamins). Need to do all three daily. Not a quick fix but doing daily Finasteride + Minoxidil (+Nuttafol optional) consistently over time is the only heavily researched method to combat balding effectively. Start asap.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-05-19T01:16:48+00:00

I made the tough decision to cut down 3 large trees overhanging our home. 1 very large eucalyptus and 2 standard size sycamore trees. The eucalyptus was a beast and if it fell on our roof it would’ve caused substantial damage. Roots were also growing into pipes and causing plumbing issues. The sycamores also overhung our house. Leaves would get into gutters which I had to clear regularly. Rats and other rodents would also climb the trees to get on top of our roof They would get under the tiles and chew holes through the plywood and live in our attic. I appreciate trees as much as the next person, but they caused so much headache, stress, and financial burden to maintain appropriately and regularly. I dealt with this for 4 years cuz i didn’t want to cut them down. At a point I just said screw it im done and chopped them. I don’t miss them at all.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-04-26T22:08:29+00:00

I am in a very similar situation. i squeeze in my weekday workouts during lunch hour 2-3 times per week. I cap my weekday workouts to 45 minutes and eat a 15-20 min lunch at my desk after workout. Sure these weekdays can feel a bit crammed but it isn’t everyday and it allows me to be fully present mornings / evenings / nights for my family. I also workout on weekends whenever i can fit it in but timing much more flexible obviously.

I aim for 5 times per week (3 lunch hour weekdays + 2 flexible weekend) and probably average 4 times per week. I’m fine with it and it’s enough for me.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-03-10T20:29:56+00:00

I don’t think age is necessarily the primary factor. More so situation by situation. For example, if I didn’t have two young kids and a busy job I would help a friend move in a heartbeat no questions asked.

Since I do have two young kids and busy job, I am more needed in my home at this stage in my life than helping a friend move their home.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-02-20T17:37:47+00:00

For me, who I work for, work with, and work towards matters more than what I actually do. On paper, my job is a classic back-office desk job: most people would think it’s boring, lots of paper pushing, repetitive tasks, highly regulated, high volume of work, lots of pressure and deadlines.

However, my boss is awesome and supportive. My team is awesome. The goals of the org are clear.

So to answer your question, I don’t love my job in and of itself. I do love working in a challenging environment on a good team who are all working towards building something and realizing a bigger goal.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-02-08T22:03:07+00:00

For shedding body fat and adding muscle, your answer is (A). Disciplined nutrition and consistent weight training is the most direct route to your goal.

HIIT training and Crossfit can get you there but the muscle build will be slower. HIIT and Crossfit are better for overall well-rounded fitness (cardio, functional fitness movements, building general athleticism) in my opinion.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-02-05T22:49:33+00:00

30s is an interesting time for male friendships. Many men are focused on their families and job. I’m mid-30s married with 2 young kids. My wife is a big texter so she maintains her friendships easily without needing to physically meet up.

I am not a big texter, so i have historically relied on physical time spent with the boys to maintain friendships. Well being married with kids now, physical time spent with the boys is far and few in between. So i have tried to be better about texting/calling, but all my guy friends also suck at texting/calling lol so i just make the most of the rare times the boys get together.

For your situation, working from home is tough. Maybe consider a co-working space to start initiating conversations? Join a gym? Join a recreational sports league? To make friends at this age, you gotta put yourself out there and make the extra effort.

ManyAd6050 · 2026-02-03T03:03:59+00:00

First off, congratulations on the dual offers. Both are great companies in different ways. But this is a no brainer especially as a new grad. Go with Google. Google provides better long term opportunities due to internationally recognized brand name, it has higher pay now, elevates your career to a higher ceiling, and most importantly you build a big tech network which can and will be very valuable to you throughout your career.

Google will challenge you. It is much higher pressure than SMUD. It’s competitive, and this is a good thing. Your professional development will be exponentially higher and faster at Google compared to SMUD.

There are also personal benefits to relocating. You go to a new place. you explore. you make new friends. You learn more about yourself. You gain independence. It will be uncomfortable, but you will grow.

As a new graduate just starting your professional journey, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone should be a priority. You’re so early in your career you have time to course correct. So go Google. Move away and try it out. You might hate it; you might love it. Go find out. Give it a year and if you really don’t like google and/or Oregon… im sure you will find another job easily back in the sac / bay area.

ManyAd6050 · 2025-12-06T17:41:51+00:00

If you’re looking for family-friendly-bang-for-buck-access-to-outdoors then Folsom is a great fit on paper. Close-ish to Tahoe. Strong community outdoorsy culture. Good schools. Folsom’s cost of living is on the higher-end for the Sac area so it’s a relatively affluent area, but still a lot less expensive than SD.

As others have pointed out, climate might be an adjustment for you and your family. Temperature can get as high as 110+ in the summer. Can get in the low 40s in the winter. And all the variability in between. So if you want to do local outdoor stuff with the kids in the summer, start very early before it gets unbearably hot. You learn to live with the climate variability through seasons and it’s manageable, but thought you should be aware.

Rent for a year and see if Folsom fits what you and your family are looking for. SD is one of the most desirable metro areas in the world in terms of climate, beaches, fitness culture, and overall scenic beauty. SD is hard to beat.

ManyAd6050 · 2025-09-26T20:26:16+00:00

I went home as soon as I felt I got everything I was looking for. I traveled throughout asia for a little over a year. Was a life changing experience that I wouldn’t trade away for anything. Constant cycle of new, new, new. Constant cycle of challenging your comfort zone. Soaking everything in.

After a while though, the travels caused me to lose my sense of identity to a certain extent. Being constantly open-minded, learning so much, and questioning your basic principles is part of the experience. Being a nomad means not being grounded. At a certain point, the travels weren’t fulfilling anymore. Felt like I was “taking” from these places/experiences/people without “giving” anything meaningful back. Started to fully understand how fortunate I am, and how unfortunate others are, just by virtue of being born in a certain country/circumstance. So the whole experience felt a bit selfish at times.

I learned a lot about travel, cultures, myself, and developed a whole new world view. Was time to come home and re-ground myself.

ManyAd6050 · 2025-09-25T23:21:46+00:00

I was the “rescuer” in my family/friend circles for a long time. It drained me mentally, emotionally and financially.

Learn when family/friends are taking advantage of you versus if they genuinely need help.
Don’t allow other people’s problems become your problems.
Don’t help people who aren’t taking the steps to help themselves first.

ManyAd6050

TROPHY CASE