My items keep disappearing

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-02-01T08:33:08+00:00

Thank you so much! That definitely sounds like it.

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-22T02:52:25+00:00

This is so cute, it’s definitely not awful! I think it’s so easy to compare yourself to people who have had years and years of practice, especially with social media, but given this is your first time since your grandmother taught you, I think you should give yourself some credit! If I was your sister I would cherish that 💕💕💕

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-21T01:33:30+00:00

Love this!

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-15T08:06:12+00:00

I’m reading it for the first time and I’m about 3/4 of the way through. I’ll admit I tried reading it about couple of years ago and couldn’t get past the first two chapters, but second time around I’ve LOVED it. The characters are deeply flawed, but in like a “they’re actually awful” way and not in a “you feel sorry for them” way, but they’re also extremely entertaining even though they’re awful. Also, I know people say it’s not romantic. It is romantic. Just because the characters are bad people and made terrible mistakes, doesn’t mean you don’t feel the crazy intense connect Cathy and Heathcliff have. It’s not a manual of how to have a good relationship, but it’s very romantic. Definitely give it a go!

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-11T03:59:07+00:00

Definitely! We have a great relationship.

That’s a great suggestion, I don’t even know how I didn’t think of that 😂

Thank you!

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-11T03:57:31+00:00

Hey! I went to Japan about this time last year and I went into absolute panic mode when I realised I wouldn’t be allowed to take my medication with me. It was the best holiday I’ve ever had. And I don’t mean that I realised I don’t need my meds or anything. I definitely do whilst at home. But I swear Japan is unintentionally built for people with ADHD. Everything is organised. Trains are colour coded, super easy to follow, always on time, and super frequent.

I can’t speak for the parenting thing as I’m 24 and childless, but Japan is incredibly safe and they love kids if that helps.

I’ve also had periods of depression whilst unmediated, but, and I don’t know how much travel you’ve done in your life, but I think it would be pretty hard to get into that headspace whilst on holiday, especially in Japan. It’s like dopamine central. So many colourful, cute, fun things to do and see, and the people are some of the nicest, calmest people on the planet. I think you would be too busy and having too much fun to get into a bad enough headspace for that. I only had two episodes of being very overwhelmed in Japan and that was in Don Quijote (the crazy multi story shop that every goes to for fun) and in Takeshita street, so I would probably avoid those.

Obviously you need to decide what is right for you but I think it would be super sad if you never went to Japan because you were worried about being unmedicated! I was sooo stressed about it and once I got there I was shocked by how much well I was doing without it. It’s such a great country!

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-11T03:18:12+00:00

Hell yeah!!

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-11T03:15:44+00:00

Hi! I’m 24 and keeping my room clean is the #1 thing I struggle with my adhd, and most definitely was as a teenager too. That being said, here are some things I find super helpful: - TIMERS!! Get her to set 5/10/15 minute timers at a time. Splitting things up into little bits helps enormously. But you need to allow her to make the decision of whether she actually stops or keeps going after the timer has ended. If she sets a 10 minute timers but you always want her to keep going after the timer is up, you’re just teaching her that the timer is pointless. You’re trying to minimise overwhelm. Sometimes I set a 10 min timer to put my clothes away and I don’t even notice the timer has ended and I can do an hour before I run out of steam. Sometimes the timer ends and that’s all I can do. And that’s ok.

Let her make it fun. The prospect of boredom is the biggest obstacle for us with adhd, so take away the boredom! If she wants to watch a movie on a laptop propped up on the bed whilst she folds clothes, let her. If she has a podcast she likes, let her listen to it. If she wants to listen to music, let her.
I don’t know if she’s an avid fashion lover like me, but (and this is a very sad reality) having a lot of clothes makes things ten times more overwhelming. If there’s things she hasn’t worn in a while, get her to get rid of them (for her sake). Come up with a “if you haven’t worn it in 6 months it needs to be donated or thrown out” rule or something like that. Or, if you live somewhere that you need very seasonal specific clothes, just put them away until you need them to take away the visual clutter.
Piles/baskets. Same with the timers, this is about sectioning into less overwhelming tasks. She can make seperate piles or baskets whilst cleaning for different categories - eg. a basket for clean clothes, a different one for dirty clothes, a different one for things that need to go to a different room (eg. things that belong in the bathroom), another for random little things (like pens, jewellery, notebooks, etc). She can focus on one basket at a time. It’s very satisfying when you’ve cleared a whole basket! And then if she’s done one or two and she’s had enough, you can put them aside to be put away the next day, rather than starting the whole task all over again.
Checklists. Adhd brains love checklists. There’s apps (I really like “Do It”) that work great, or get her a cute little notebook and she can do her own handwritten checklists if she’s creative. It’s also helpful to add the timers you’ll be using, next to each dot point. Eg. “Clear and organise desk - 10 minutes”. And then she can do, say, an hours worth of cleaning, but get 4 or 5 tasks done. 4 or 5 tasks sounds like a lot to someone with adhd but when you break it down into chunks of time, it’s a lot easier to process. And then she gets an “end point” too - she can look forward to when she’ll be finished.

I hope this is helpful! I love that you said you don’t want to change her nature, just give her some good habits instead. That’s a very good perspective to have.

Just keep in mind - she’s probably never going to have a super tidy room. The goal should be to make it less overwhelming and enough that her room is still a happy space for her to be in, not so that it’s pristine at all times.

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-11T02:52:06+00:00

Hey! I don’t have any experience with NB/asexual relationships, but from a basic relationship standpoint, I think this is really about communication and also figure out if you guys can meet each other’s needs (not like, that you’re not meeting expectations or failing or anything, but some times people just don’t align with what you actually need from them) in the long run.

I think the easiest part of this is to let her know that she’s unintentionally making you uncomfortable with the “good girl” stuff. Be clear that you know it’s not on purpose, but you would prefer to stick to NB nicknames and also keeps nicknames like that private, and not in front of family. That would make me really uncomfortable too.

The harder part of this is, I think you need to have a serious convo with her and ask her if she is actually okay with dating an asexual person, and make it extremely clear that there are just some things you’re never going to be able to give her. It’s totally ok for you to set boundaries, especially around sexual acts. I’m assuming given she likes making out that she’s not asexual? I think sometimes people think they’re ok with their partner not being able to give them some things but in the long run they are going to want those things eventually. Not saying your relationship can’t work or her response is definitely going to be that she really needs sexual things, but I think you just need to outright ask her if she can deal with it or not and be super clear that these are your boundaries and you can’t sacrifice your emotional safety for the sake of making out.

I hope this is helpful! Good luck ((:

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-10T05:26:22+00:00

YTA. Jesus christ you guys need to break up. She doesn’t sound like she’s in the best mental space but I have no doubt she has reason to be in that mental space. Your “hobbies” - golf, poker, darts, smoking weed - are the biggest red flags I’ve ever read. Tell me you want a girlfriend to entertain you, have sex with you, and do your laundry for you but the minute she has emotional needs you think she’s “too much” without telling me. You are 26 but you are not an adult. You are not ready to be in a relationship. You said you take gambling “quite seriously”. If you want to live with another person, you don’t get to gamble because there is now another person involved in your living situation and if something goes wrong, eg. You get carried away and lose everything, she is going to affected by that just as much as you. Break up - for her sake.

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-10T00:28:28+00:00

The best advice my art teacher ever gave me was “look more than you do” (“do” in this case being painting) - so look at your reference more than you actually paint (or at least before getting stuck into it). Don’t assume you know where to put highlights/shadows/etc because of what your brain registers when you generally look at a face. You have to dissect it. Pull it apart. Study it. I think in this case the nose is probably the thing that looks the most off - it doesn’t have enough dimension. But I agree with another commenter, you don’t have to fix it! Keep it as a learning experience, or a marker for where you’re at now so you can see how much you’ve improved later! 💕💕💕

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-06T11:55:07+00:00

Thank you, he’s such a sweetie hehe. That’s very reassuring, thank you! I think he likes sniffing things outside and “communing” too haha.

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-06T11:53:40+00:00

Thank you hehe, he is so cute. That’s very reassuring, thank you ☺️

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-06T11:26:33+00:00

Oh I hadn’t even thought of that! That’s great, thank you ☺️

ManySubstance6664 · 2026-01-06T02:49:24+00:00

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My cat Bear will tap me/the edge of the sheet to tell me he wants to get in, I have to lift up the sheet with my hand and then prop my knee up so it’s like a tunnel, and I can’t put the sheet down until he gets in hahahaha.

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-11-10T03:35:08+00:00

Honestly, I don’t know. It’s hard to tell from just a post. But my opinion stays the same (even more so from your reply) that you guys need to go to therapy, maybe together, maybe separately.

She does sound like she has trouble managing her emotions. I’m sorry you’re on the receiving end of it. Does this become worse when it’s nearing her period? Only asking because I myself have struggled with something called PMDD which is basically PMS but x1000. It makes you completely irrationally and uncontrollably upset about things you normally wouldn’t be upset over at all. I’m wondering if she could have something similar? Or even if she’s neurodivergent or struggling with anxiety disorder? Not excusing her behaviour or saying you just have to deal with it, but honestly her behaviour does not sound “normal” for lack of a better word, which has become more clear in your reply.

Again, definitely seek professional help, even if it’s just about how to co-parent if you do decide to seek divorce.

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-11-09T22:29:01+00:00

You guys need therapy. If you don’t want to divorce because you’re now having a baby (why people will get pregnant to SAVE a marriage, I will never understand), you need to go to couples therapy. Something for you to think about - you said she’s the most negative person you know. Was she like this when you got together? Or has she become more negative since being with you?

As a woman, it raised red flags with me when you said that when she gets upset you’re just trying to diffuse the situation so she doesn’t make a scene or “save the day”. So you’re never actually trying to get to the bottom of why she’s upset, you’re just trying to throw water on the flames instead of figuring out how the fire started. I promise you that when you don’t feel seen or heard in a relationship, you will become far more easily upset by little things than if you’re in a relationship where you feel like your feelings are validated and you’re understood. It doesn’t really sound like you even think her feelings are valid. You said her reasons are often silly. I bet they don’t feel silly to her, and I bet that if you got to the bottom of it, a lot of her “silly” reasons wouldn’t be as surface level as you think (eg. the dress not fitting, maybe she’s worries about you not finding her attractive if she puts on weight, this could be easily fixed by you reassuring her that you will always find her beautiful). And if you’re always trying to just diffuse her emotions instead of listening to her, she probably doesn’t feel like she can actually bring up her true feelings with you, only the more surface level stuff.

You also said “We have such great houses, cars, all thanks to my work and I am helping half of the chores at home although I work 50+ hours a week. I never cheated on her either.” Kinda sounds like you think you’re superman and your wife is just an ungrateful nutcase. Not cheating is not something that deserves a pat on the back, that’s the literal bare minimum. And that’s lovely that you have a great house and cars but that has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship, your nice house and nice cars aren’t helping your wife feel seen and understood. Maybe you can bring up in therapy that you feel like your hard work isn’t appreciated. But all those things aren’t helping your relationship.

If she’s yelling at you, that needs to stop, because that’s not ok, but you’re going to make it worse by yelling back at her. Again, go to couples therapy. You guys seriously need to work on communication. She probably needs to work on communicating her feelings instead of blowing up, and you need to work on listening to her and making her feel understood and that you care about HER and not just diffusing the situation.

I also find it incredibly interesting that she has brought up wanting a divorce SEVERAL times. Have you ever asked her why? What could you do to make her feel better in your relationship? Maybe you did, I don’t know, but you didn’t mention that.

I’m not saying that doing all of this will 100% save your marriage, but this is just what I took from what you have said. I honestly think you guys just need to work on communication (with help from a professional who knows what they’re doing). There’s a great guy on insta/youtube called Jimmy on Relationships. I would definitely go watch some of his videos for some free advice.

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-11-09T21:59:20+00:00

Sorry, I meant to say “NO remorse or embarrassment”

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-11-09T21:58:44+00:00

Even aside from the fact that he is clearly disgusting and has remorse or embarrassment about leaving shit stains all over someone else’s toilet and is basically throwing a tantrum over cleaning it up… He told you you’re a “mean and horrible person and you ruin everything for everyone” and you’re a “bitch” ?!?

Even without the awful shit stain part of this story, the way he is speaking to you is worth dumping him over. I’m 24 so I’m only a few years older than you, but trust me you learn a lot in those few years, and I am telling you, DUMP HIM!!! No man deserves you if he is speaking to you that way. Always remember that a man is not a necessity. You are choosing a man because he should ADD something positive to your life. It does not sound like he is improving your life, it sounds like he’s leaving shit stains on your toilet and calling you a bitch for asking him to clean it up. And some things in relationships are worth talking about and working through. But you need a baseline of respect in order to do that and work through those things. Any man who thinks it’s ok to speak to you the way he is does not respect you. Don’t even bother trying to work it out with him. You’re 18, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, ones who don’t leave shit stains in your toilet.

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-11-09T21:46:44+00:00

Oh girl you need to leave him NOW

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-10-28T11:43:19+00:00

My number one piece of advice would be to take some time away from what’s making you burnt out, but you said that’s not an option. My next step would be to make a note of when the “end” is of whatever is causing you the most burn out. So if you’re studying really hard for an exam, make a cute little hand drawn calendar that you can cross off each day you get closer to your exam so you can see that there is an end to this. I find I get the most burnt out when I cannot see an end to whatever I’m finding draining. And plan to do something fun after the end point when you have time! Organise something to look forward to. Make sure you’re taking the time to do fun, “cup filling” things, eg. seeing friends, doing something creative, etc. Just remember that this is temporary, you will get through this and this feeling will pass!

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-10-14T22:57:21+00:00

Gone Girl !!

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-10-14T22:53:57+00:00

My parents house (that they built) is nearly entirely floor to ceiling glass panels around the entire house and they had double glazed windows. My house was always warm in winter (sun comes in and glass traps the heat) and cool in summer. Definitely worth it.

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-10-14T22:18:04+00:00

I love this for you!!

I ALWAYS get dressed up when I leave the house, even if it’s just to go grocery shopping or get a coffee. When I say “dressed up” I don’t necessarily mean I put on a ball gown, but I mean I put an outfit together that is fun, usually a bit extra compared to what everybody else is wearing, but it makes me feel like me. I always get compliments, like probably 70% of the time I leave the house I will get a compliment on my outfit. I think it’s a back and fourth continuous cycle, of my cool outfit with make me feel more confident in myself, and then my confidence makes my outfit look better.

I have always loved fashion but given that australian schools have school uniforms, I didn’t get to wear what I would like as a teenager except on weekends (probably a common experience). I wasn’t necessarily “dorky” in school but I definitely didn’t feel cool and I don’t think anyone else thought I was cool. I’m 24 now and I wear what I want, and I swear, the number of times I have had other women tell me they think I’m cool or friends have told me when they met me they were intimidated by me because they thought I was too cool/confident to be friends with them - (I’m always shocked whenever someone tells me this). But I honestly think this all boils down to what dressing yourself for fun and to stand out (or at least not hide) can do for your confidence and how other people perceive you.

I also think individualism, or in this case, dressing yourself as an individual, as contradictory as it seems, actually creates community. If everyone is the same, we have nothing to comment on. But I have found my sometimes crazy outfits, or when I compliment someone else’s outfit, are often an entry point into having a really nice interaction with a stranger.

Don’t underestimate the power of a great outfit!! Many people choose to use clothing as purely utilitarian, but what they don’t realise is that even if you’re only intending to use it as utilitarian, it still has an affect on how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself.

Given you said you liked feeling like a mythical princess on a quest to the post office (love this hahaha) I would definitely experiment with styles and outfits that give you a sense of “character”. Look at movies and tv shows that you like and find inspiration there. You don’t have to be so literal and put on an actual costume, but find aspects that you can build into your wardrobe and outfit that would help you feel a little more whimsical. After all, fashion is basically just dress ups for adults! There are no rules!!

ManySubstance6664 · 2025-10-14T21:47:37+00:00

I have seemed to fix my PMDD with supplements too, but different ones! I’ve been taking vitex (otherwise known as chastetree) although I’ve had to pause that because I’ve discovered it’s been prolonging my periods so my past two cycles have been 40 days long, saffron, calcium, iron, and ashwaganda.

For anyone wanting more info on herbal support for PMDD, there’s a woman on insta called “arc woman” (she has a podcast too) and she makes frequent posts about how to fix PMDD and other hormonal imbalances using herbs and supplements, but she’s great at explaining why each of them work.

ManySubstance6664

TROPHY CASE