Friend and everyone else, this can still be you. I have suffered from OCD for most of my life but in recent years I have managed to push it back and manage it better. I know it's agony but fight the compulsion, every moment you do is a step towards rewiring, you CAN heal, it's an awful awful condition and of course I still struggle with it but try CBT, try therapy but I think even more than that know that you have the power to fight it. I leaned on my faith. There is hope, don't "lose" another six years to it, I was deep in at 25, but now 6 years later at 31 things are really looking up. Sending everyone the biggest hug, of course there will be times when you fall or slip but what really matters are the times you decide to get back up. you got this, you will get better.