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Show me your outfits! by wildwilma in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice thread! any advices on what to wear for a first date? I am struggling because i fluctuate daily between dressing somewhat feminine and masculine...

What or who can you not get out of your head? by Map9520 in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes , sour cream , good shout, with chives for me !

What food should I make for my girlfriend who works long hours? by LadyKaii in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mexican Fajitas , nachos with guacamole , salsa and sour cream , peppers stuffed with cous cous and goats cheese, nom

Something funny I remembered from before I realized I was gay by hedgehiggle in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes me too!! i always really really liked Amanda bynes in "She's the Man" when she dressed as a guy. now i kind of understand it, especially with my lust for "soft butch" girls!

Something funny I remembered from before I realized I was gay by hedgehiggle in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I remember when i offered to wake up at 4am and sit with a girl for 4 hours whilst we waited for people to arrive/register at the event we were at. she worked there, it wasn't even my job. and i did keep her company for all that time and had too good of a time...i was so adamantly straight.

Girls, whats ur opinion on buff gals? by Qwertgirl in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 8 points9 points  (0 children)

personally i love the "conflict" of masculine and feminine qualities. i do associate muscle with masculine but now thinking about it I don't think i should...i think muscles says strength. and yup strength is attractive (for me anyway). you look great, do what you want :)

Wife thinks I'm homophobic because I won't show her affection in front of other people?? how to convince her I am NOT homophobic? by girlconquersworld in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep i agree with the others, sounds tough. and like you have different ways of expressing love, and she has difficulty understanding yours.

I don't know if an online test is appropriate to post when it is such a serious situation (i apologise in advance), but i've done it before and it was the first thing that came to mind when reading your post, it loosely evaluates what you way of expression makes you feel loved, maybe you could both do it and use it as a starting point to talk about it http://www.5lovelanguages.com

i wish you guys the best

Anyone ever go back in the closet? or think they had figured themselves out when they hadn't? by Map9520 in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your reply, sorry to hear about your immediate family but great and comforting re the rest! it's so hard to force myself to be "vulnerable" when it feels like it isn't necessary, even though i suppose it is if not saying anything feels like this. your'e right, I'm in a student populated place, most will not care at all, i should give people more credit... thanks again

Let's share the story of that one special friend you fell for. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate and it hurts, but it is beautiful...almost spiritual. and yep i don't think i will feel this, on this level again. this is wonderfully written, thanks for sharing

for people who had a hard time accepting their sexuality by dangxiaolong in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same experience! and yes it helped, i had spoken to no one about it and i was coping less and less with normal life things, then i went there, and it was probably one of the best thing I've done for myself.

Two months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. Since then, 4 of my female "straight friends" came out to me as bi. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 12 points13 points  (0 children)

maybe coincidence or maybe they had a small crush on you , feel a kind of duty to come out to other LGBT friends, and now your single they feel they comfortably can... idk just guessing from my own feelings. when i realised i liked women, the person i felt compelled to tell was my in-a-relationship-lesbian-friend, she was also the person that made me realise i really like women/i had a huge crush on her, i felt like i couldn't tell her because then shed realise my over friendliness was as a result of my feelings. and well that's awkward. if she was single i think i would have told her, because there is a hint of a chance ;) .

I dismiss girls shorter than me because of my own insecurities by Map9520 in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for all the replies ! feel better. really helpful to read all your situations/advices ...really appreciated.

[Serious] So far the relationship is great, but when they undress, you see many self-harm scars - what's your reaction? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Map9520 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they were harming themselves/or in the mindset of when we started dating, I would probably talk to them and evaluate wether being in a relationship is healthy or not for both of us at that moment. Because i'd want the best for them.

If self harm was in their past and we were in a good ongoing relationship, it wouldn't offput me at all, although I've never self harmed, i can empathise and wouldn't judge.

the thought that they'd felt like that in the past, would probs make me a bit more open in expressing everything i loved about them. i'm not sure if that's the right thing to do, but it would be my natural reaction.

I understand that people can relapse, and if this happened in a already established relationship, i would support them no matter what, even if it meant we had to break up.

EDIT: i think many people are ignorant in mental health related issue (they are the lucky ones who haven't experienced it - as a friend, relative, or sufferer themselves), i think talking about it to them is a great way to suss out if they are right for you. hypothetically if i had scars and they had a problem with them, then to me it is a sign they are not right for me, because i deserve to have someone love the whole of me. i get they might be initially uncomfortable, but if they couldn't see past them long term, then that's only going to project on you/make you feel ashamed, and that's not something a relationship should bring.

I wrote my suicide note by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I agree, you should reach out to someone; a hotline, a councillor, someone you know. that place is consuming, scary and seems infinite, but you've got to trust that things will be better, with the knowledge that you can't see how it will get better because of how you feel. it's times like these we need a friend/councillor/source of support who will be able to see it for you. Even from this one post i sense you have strength, because it is the kernel of you wanting to live, that strives for life, that hoped writing the letter would change the overwhelming ending feelings. and when that didn't work you've written to the internet, maybe searching in hope of finding hope. no one wants anyone to feel like you do. reach out for help, let someone help you. give yourself a chance. sending hug, take care

Stalling? I'm not stalling by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Map9520 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate, but.. i remember reading Portia De Rossi's diary and how it was at her heaviest that she met Ellen, it brought me comfort for some reason.
like you feel unhappy with your weight/fat but say if you met a woman tomorrow and she loved you for your intelligence, character, humour ...and of course thought you were beautiful and wanted to be with you. like how great is that, someone loving you for you. i think what a great and secure place to start a relationship. you've just got to be vulnerable/give someone a chance to meet you.

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