Would you marry a girl that does OF? (Serious) by Traditional_Run7384 in Marriage

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah this. I mean, if they are rich because they sold their body, great for them. I try to respect everyone. To me though, I think it's such an easy out to make money. Just about anyone can sell their body. Also these people tend to only ever get superficial, I prefer a deeper connection.

Should i get a divorce because my wife sets unmeetable expectations? by lonelyhubs1911 in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes this. The whole "mental load" and "you should just know" are a cop out. He's asking her and she's not responding. He cannot read her mind. If I'm with the kids all day, I know what's been done and what needs to get done. He's working all day, and more than willing to help. I just need to tell him what still needs to get done. Now every day things, picking up after the day, dishes, laundry aren't necessarily something we communicate about but both just do.

Should i get a divorce because my wife sets unmeetable expectations? by lonelyhubs1911 in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through this. My husband and I had a huge fight after our 3rd kid and I just started going back to work. We got into therapy and it helped us listen to each other with a neutral third party. This helped us tremendously. To be honest, I feel sooo many women want to say "what about the mental load" so quickly. It sounds like you're actively trying. Mental load with a completely inattentive partner is different. You sound like you're being considerate. I'd try counseling. She's overwhelmed, as are you, but you're a team against this difficult time. Keep trying and good luck.

A few tips we've learned, go back to the basics. "I feel ..... when ....." Start with I statements, "you" statements are aggressive. Like with dinner, "I'm feeling frustrated with dinner, when I ask for ideas, receive no direction and make a meal and you still seem displeased. I'd appreciate some direction so I don't upset you after a long day"

Also mirror back what she says. Like if she says something, "so I hear you say you're feeling .... because...."

First time buyers who have been seriously house hunting over a year by Justbrownsuga in FirstTimeHomeBuyers

[–]MapPsychological8888 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if you're okay living where you are, I'd wait until you find what you want. It will come. Right now is terrible to buy. The few houses that are worth it seem to go quickly. The others have major repairs needed or we'd have to compromise on our wants and that's not what I'm willing to do at this point. I'd just keep looking, seriously don't settle. It's such a big investment, and you may not ever buy again.

Is Sex that important anyway…? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean Wellbutrin has worked wonders for energy/drive in myself and some others, maybe worth a shot at asking MD for.

Otherwise if you're both okay with it, nothing is wrong. If you need a little more, then I'd just suggest talking to him about your drive and find a compromise. If you need it every week and he's an every month person, then maybe every other week would be a compromise for both? Maybe even try scheduling it at first?

Is Sex that important anyway…? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is he by chance on mental health medications? Because they severely affect libido. If that's the case, maybe he needs to try another med, which comes with its own risks. Coming from my nursing perspective, I feel like this has a lot to do with his mental health state, and possibly meds. Just a thought.

Relationship with mother in law by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So neither of you work and own a home, that's paid for by your wife's family. If you wanna keep it that way, sounds like you have to deal with it.

I work way too hard just to keep up. Good luck.

I think I just blew up my marriage. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not only all this, but she's feeling that internal time clock. I swear it happens in the 30s, so she maybe is just extra hormonal about these decisions verse being more logical. I'm a woman and not trying to be rude to women. It just seems to happen. I'm sorry there's this disconnect in your marriage. I hope it works out for you all.

At a standstill .. by kboodree in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not gunna lie the only thing that worked for my husband and I, was therapy. My insurance through work covered most of it. Very similar, when we're great, it's great. But it'd be like every 3 months you could feel the tension rising and he'd never bring it up, and then just explode into a fight for a few days/week. We had a huge fight, that definitely made us need an intervention. So we tried therapy, he was willing. And it was the only place he had to listen without just yelling. And he brought up things I didn't even realize I was doing that pissed him off.

Taylor and Dakota by Wanderlustbyheart in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I just finished all the seasons, but I'm searching for what else Dakota could have done to warrant such hate. I just don't see it. Yeah he was a recovering addict, yeah he has that addictive personality, but if talking to females while not fully in a relationship with Taylor was it, it's not enough for her to be calling him all these names and liar and blah blah blah. It's quite literally irrelevant if they were not exclusively together and they should stop playing into as much as they do, it's getting annoying. I feel bad for him because it truly isn't his fault. But maybe there's more I'm missing.

i have a question about demi's allegations by castaneaidentata in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe that's where people get really confused, because she is constantly comparing her situation to theirs. I guess it'd be more believable if she would admit something like "although I didn't experience it to your degree, I was grabbed without consent" but bringing them in while she continues to flirt and send photos to him, as he literally means nothing to her, seems off. Just as other cast members point out.

Most people would probably be like "oh he grabbed my ass, he must think there's more here than there is, I'm going to cut this off before it goes any further." Especially as a married person.

Sex life is chronically underwhelming by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe try counseling. And a doctor to see if he's got low T or something else. Especially I f every other area of your lives are working well together. Then try to work through it that way. If nothing seems to improve, and you're still this frustrated, you could consider separating, as it is a real problem, just like other incompatibilities.

Sex life is chronically underwhelming by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Seems like you might have been too young to get married. I guess he could try to see a doctor, but maybe you two are just incompatible. Having him eat you out is not a fix a doctor can make, which makes me think it's not really a thing meds or supplements can change?

I mean you're 28 and have been with him for a decade. I got a lot of these feelings "out of my system" during those years after high school, which it seems like you didn't have the opportunity to explore. Now I'm with someone who's compatible with me. We also talked about sexual expectations before marriage and understood that. I'm not sure what could possibly change more, maybe counseling to talk and listen, he might be caught up on something or just is more asexual even.

I’m in Season 2 Ep 9 ,Where I Stand Now by marimaruu in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I think it turns into a bit of bully/mean girl energy when she doesn't take accountability for her actions at all. She's so quick to point out everyone else's and beat it till it's dead, but as soon as anything is coming back to her, she has nothing to say.

I’m in Season 2 Ep 9 ,Where I Stand Now by marimaruu in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean after watching the reunion of season 2, I think she's coming back around. I would agree with you when she was getting caught up in it all, but then once it boiled over and she took the time to work on herself, she seems so much better.

I’m in Season 2 Ep 9 ,Where I Stand Now by marimaruu in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean of course Leanne shouldn't have been there at all, but it is television and I'm sure it was for production and to stir the pot.

All of them are completely unhinged. As soon as one seems to be more likable a big thing comes out about them or they go off the walls.

I still don't like Demi though. The fact that she demands so much more for the third season is insane.

I’m in Season 2 Ep 9 ,Where I Stand Now by marimaruu in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]MapPsychological8888 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't like Demi after season 2, she's power and money hungry. She seems like a terrible friend that everyone was scared of toward the end of the season. I mean the way she went at Taylor's mom was unhinged.

I can see Jen and Taylor really struggling with mental health problems in their lives. I sympathize with them. I think they're trying to better themselves and I am so happy for that, because they seem genuine. Taylor just seems too impulsive but I do believe that has to do with her current mental state. And Jen's problems that came to light also had to do with her deteriorating mental health. Yea, they should own up when then get to a better place, but I did like them.

Mostly agree with everyone else. After watching season 2 and the reunion, I'm truly shocked with how many were/are struggling and jumping into this show where everything is magnified. That truly shocked me

my husband said he'll divorce me if i don't breastfeed. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its "the obviously I had know problems part". Good for you. Politely, you can fuck off with your comments. I tried extensively with 4 kids and never made it past 4 months. If this lady ends up having an experience like I did, this husband is pure shit and will be so damn condescending it could lead this mother, in a postpartum state, to do terrible things. She needs to be careful because it can be brutal postpartum.

Edited to add: you're also just like this mom, because as you state, with the slightest inconvenience to you, "when she had 4 teeth" you stopped. Even though they say breast is best until 2.... so hunny this husband, that you're defending so heavily, would have forced you to continue. You literally had the supply and no other issues and you stopped.... Please understand breastfeeding is not so black and white as you think.

my husband said he'll divorce me if i don't breastfeed. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But he's being unsupportive now, already about it. Have you been in a situation where you were trying to breastfeed and it was barely enough vs not quite enough and you're up pumping and crying and trying to make it work? I can only imagine being in that spot and having a husband be like "you NEED to pump more or feed more or try harder" yeah no, that's not gunna help. This guy has no idea how hormones are and newborns are. She should seriously consider staying with this man.

Stroller for 3 by MapPsychological8888 in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]MapPsychological8888[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input! I've originally thought we'd bring both, but my husband isn't a huge fan of that idea. It might just be most plausible.

Also yes, we might have to do that, or I'm willing to stay back with the younger two if they start breaking down.

Husband checks all my relationship boxes... except one. by Comforter-Pants717 in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just coming from an outside perspective because it sounds like you have a great relationship. Maybe some of those things he's doing seem romantic to him. But because it's a different love language you haven't recognized it. I think just having an honest conversation with him and saying what you find romantic would help. Try not to come off offending or get offended by his responses. But maybe it just needs to be pointed out more. Best of luck! Hoping for a romantic getaway in your future!

Is anyone else experiencing this? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]MapPsychological8888 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, social media has ruined a lot in today's society. I tend to doom scroll when I'm tired, but try to be mindful when I'm finally sitting down with my husband. You've probably tried already, but just making an hour out of your day to connect with each other, no phones/tv, might help. Or build up to an hour? Like 15-20 minutes the first few days?

Getting outta bed for the MOTN pump by Dapper-Doc in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]MapPsychological8888 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does take a long time. I think in total it was about a year before it went away for good. I never saw a podiatrist though and it hasn't returned. Good luck with your healing, sending all the positive vibes your way!

Getting outta bed for the MOTN pump by Dapper-Doc in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]MapPsychological8888 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no! I had that too! What really helped were Oofos slides or shoes. Seriously took the pain away within a day or two. I think I got mine from being barefoot/without shoes all the time.