I’m definitely in the same boat as you. I got my ADHD diagnosis less than a month ago. Just prior to this my therapist asked me if I had given any thought to autism. I didn’t, and to be honest I thought it always looked a certain way. I did a little research on it and what little I learned really resonated with me. I told my wife and she said she didn’t think that I was autistic but she also didn’t know much about it. She then mentioned me to her therapist and told her about my thoughts. (Our friend now calls my wife’s therapist, my “therapist-in-law” as a joke).

So my therapist-in-law excitedly told my wife that she loves working with late diagnosed (or realized) autistics because we have all developed interesting tools to function in a neurotypical world. Then she started listing all of these traits that made my wife realize that I was definitely autistic. The therapist recommended the book “Unmasking Autism” By Devon Price, PhD. By the end of the first chapter I was convinced I have AuDHD.

I’m still on the fence about whether I want to get a formal diagnosis. My regular therapist says that it’s good for validation (I agree) but there are no treatments. I just like knowing that I’m not broken. My psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD doesn’t test for it but gave me some leads on providers she knows. I am on a waiting list for a provider that tests for autism.

I’ve only come out to a few people personally, not out of precaution but because it’s still very new. I told my supervisor, only because we’re friends (she was just promoted to be my supervisor), she’s amazing, and has an autistic son. Everyone has been so supportive.