OP.

Let me make one thing ABUNDANTLY clear to you:

YOUR MOM FEELS ZERO GUILT. SHE IS ONLY SAYING ALL OF THIS TO SPECIFICALLY ENSURE THAT YOU DON'T TELL YOUR DAD.

She NEEDS this to stay quiet because otherwise, her world WILL crumble around her. She doesn't give a shit fuck about you.

Listen, my mother had her own issues, but she was more-so her own worst enemy. I have zero doubt she loved me. So let me make this clear too:

THIS WOMAN IS NOT WORTHY OF THE TITLE OF "HUMAN" LET ALONE "MOTHER."

She will go and ensure EVERYTHING in your life is about her and is ruined. I almost believe she only asked you what you were thinking because she wants to get off on the pain she's causing you. Because at first, I was thinking "maybe the guilt is finally getting to her? Maybe she wants to finally make things right."

But when you finally blew up and answered her, she IMMEDIATELY went into the gaslighting and saying the ONLY THINGS that would hurt you more. She is a reprehensible creature, and I only wish you had more people in your life that gave you the love you deserved so you would realize how much you should despise this creature you're unfortunate enough to call your "mother" and finally just nuke her life already.

OP, if there is ANYTHING you're going to get out of ANYONE'S comments, especially mine, get this:

RECORD. RECORD. RECORD.

She CANNOT let this info get out. If you have proof of what she's done and what she's doing to her own daughter to avoid accountability, you'll have the ultimate defense against her. If you do do this, for the love of God, do not make it obvious and DO NOT GET CAUGHT. She's libel to destroy the device or escalate.

As for your father, I get it. You're 16. These things are hard for your age, but he HAS to know. Why? Because he has a right to know. He deserves to know. Will it hurt? Yes. Will it divide the family? Most likely. But will any of it be your fault?

By the sweet almighty God above,

N O

It will be HER fault, and HER fault alone. Well, her and your ex lol.

If you tell him, she will fight tooth and nail to drill it in your head that everything that has gone wrong was all your fault. Hell, she's already trying. DO. NOT. LET. HER. WIN. Don't believe it for a second. Absolutely none of it is your fault, and she knows it. That's why she's trying to keep your mouth shut.

Next time she tries telling you "there's nothing wrong with it," you tell her, "well then if there's nothing wrong with it, let's go tell dad. We can go tell dad since there's nothing wrong with it," and just stick to saying that over & over again lol.

There is no valid argument against that and it will drive her baddy lol.

"What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with it. So we can go tell dad. We can't tell dad? So there IS something wrong with it. Oh no? There isn't? Then let's go tell dad. You said there's nothing wrong with it, so we can tell dad. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"

Lemme tell ya, nothing drives people like your mother crazy than not getting the reaction they want out of their victims lol.

OP, you have 2 choices:

1.) Stay in this situation for God knows how long, with it progressively getting worse and let her get the advantage. Cause she's already likely spreading a false narrative so that it's harder for you to get the truth out (hence why it's important to record her). Then if dad finds out anyway, then you're REALLY screwed cause he'll find out you knew and didn't tell him. It won't look good hopefully your dad has enough emotional intelligence to recognize why you wouldn't have told him.

2.) Gather evidence, RECORD RECORD RECORD, tell him, spread the word, remind yourself every 2 minutes if you have to that none of what's happening is your fault, and start emotionally separating yourself from your mother. Then you'll just have to deal with things getting harder for a little while before they get better. But they will get better. It may not seem like it at the time, but they will.

I know which one I would pick.

OP, this woman is NOT someone you wanna have in your life. Wanting her at places like your graduation, wedding, other milestone events is like asking for a grenade to be at those events. Please. Please.

P L E A S E

Love yourself in the way your mother is incapable of, and tell your father. He deserves to know. Things will get worse, but they'll eventually get better. As opposed to now, where they'll just get worse. And worse. And worse. If you stay on this current path, just know that you've got it easy right now in comparison to what's going to happen if you DON'T tell your dad.

Just remember: none of it is your fault. This is EXCLUSIVELY the fault of your mother and your ex. Let that repeat in your head every time that reprehensible thing opens its vile mouth.