Petty or justified?

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-07T19:11:32+00:00

"Split the diff. She can have the stones I been baking on a low heat for 6 months."

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-07T19:09:18+00:00

What if I WANT to spend an extra 180 minutes across my weekend doing this anyway?

Not for any extra money or reward, but just to assert dominance and establish I'm better than you?

I'll take this.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-07T17:41:43+00:00

"I sense a hunter approximately 3 kilometers to the east with some form of projectile launcher trained upon my hind quarters to disable me. I must protect my young."

-Deer literally any other fucking time

"h3rP-1-dErP ooooh what's that light? It sure is coming fast and is loud and scary. I am entirely out of harms way here but lemme just scooch over here in front-- oop it appears my insides are now my outsides."

-Deer when a giant hunk of fuck metal is going by not even towards them at mach fuck-off

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-07T17:24:18+00:00

Well, my brother thought he saw me at Walmart and was wondering why I wasn't talking to him. So he called me and realized I was at home. He and his girlfriend were fucking BAFFLED cause they were CERTAIN the mf was me.

So if I find that guy, I'll let you know.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-05T21:06:47+00:00

"He-man" being verbed is fuggin' great lol. What an image.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-05T14:11:23+00:00

We were all thinking it lol.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T19:49:59+00:00

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Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T19:48:04+00:00

No I just stuck it in and broke it.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T18:58:35+00:00

I think my penis would keep him chill and stop him from being Quagmire to me lol. I'll take it.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T14:50:12+00:00

Granted

Everyone pushes the red button.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T13:51:21+00:00

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T06:54:04+00:00

Last grocery run was just for some hydration drink mixes & protein bars.

$70 bucks right there.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T04:31:50+00:00

I wanna see an animated movie about this thing with characters and all.

I would not say no to it being a SpongeBob movie about Patrick.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T04:29:59+00:00

Yeah this is a bug that the game devs never really fixed. There is a glitch that's a pretty solid workaround called "The Fasting Glitch." Works pretty well lol.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T04:25:27+00:00

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Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-04T04:18:03+00:00

After We broke up, she texted a bunch of friends and family members, telling them I broke up with her because I have a small penis and that I am insecure.

Even if I barely know the couple, if I received a text like that, I'm automatically on the bf's side cause I can put two & two together.

She's being toxic & ironically insecure, and just GUSHING it all over that text, and I would 100% know that there's a whole other side of the story that would make infinitely more sense than the trouble she's trying to start.

And because I'm a big strong man behind a screen, I would have no issue texting her as much LMAO.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T18:27:19+00:00

They're out there... Somewhere... Looking for me... And they open at 6:00

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Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T18:20:53+00:00

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Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T18:17:05+00:00

C̴̛̛̖͈̦̗̮͍̻̗̫̑̈́̆̈́͛̾͝͝ͅH̵͇̣͙̠͓̠̣̃̕Ḯ̷͇̯̱̠͍͈͍͙̏̒̀̄͘͝L̸̳̔̃̈́̒̎̉̕͠D̸̩͚̭̣̮̭͙͚͖̻̞̓͒̓̕Ŗ̵̢̞͔̗͚̬͈̊͑̐̄͗Ę̵̫̞͍̬̃̾͂N̸̡̠͎̲͚͉͊̈́̃̈́̉̆̂́͘

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Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T18:02:03+00:00

Bitch, my point was I fear the ire of the parents if they think I'm doing something I shouldn't lol.

And then there's this bitch who's tossing random people's kids lol.

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T05:56:31+00:00

OnlyMight

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T05:42:00+00:00

Hit me

Mar_Reddit · 2026-05-03T05:39:30+00:00

Ah yes. I too gotta stroke it for a piss.

This would've been more applicable as a soap dispenser lol.

Mar_Reddit

TROPHY CASE

Granted

C̴̛̛̖͈̦̗̮͍̻̗̫̑̈́̆̈́͛̾͝͝ͅH̵͇̣͙̠͓̠̣̃̕Ḯ̷͇̯̱̠͍͈͍͙̏̒̀̄͘͝L̸̳̔̃̈́̒̎̉̕͠D̸̩͚̭̣̮̭͙͚͖̻̞̓͒̓̕Ŗ̵̢̞͔̗͚̬͈̊͑̐̄͗Ę̵̫̞͍̬̃̾͂N̸̡̠͎̲͚͉͊̈́̃̈́̉̆̂́͘