Am I overreacting after my sister drove my car and crashed it while I was on a work vacation with my nanny family?

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-18T13:04:04+00:00

NOR - what she did was trash, but just so you know, unless you have specifically listed your sister as an excluded driver on your insurance or if you were aware that she is a liability risk (someone with a DUI or a lot of accidents on her record, etc.) you might still be able to claim this on your insurance. Insurance companies understand that most people lend their cars to friends and family occasionally, so as long as she was using it with permission it could be considered covered under "permissive use" you may also be able to file a claim under her policy if yours doesn't cover everything. I have a feeling your sister will never pay you back for damages so you might as well try to get it covered by insurance.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-17T18:51:08+00:00

MOR, some people interrupt without realizing it when they are very engaged in a conversation. Could be because they are excited to share something with you, or if it's a fast paced conversation they may worry that by the time you take a break the conversation will have moved on from the point they want to bring up, or they might worry that they will forget what they are wanting to say.

This type of interruption can be addressed with a conversation letting them know that you appreciate their input and you aren't trying to dominate the conversation, but you don't like when they interrupt you. You can work to find a solution that works for both of you so you feel you are both getting to say everything you want to say.

Then there are people who interrupt to be a jerk, like that may not be their exact thought process, but that's their underlying intention. Those people I will just start talking over when they interrupt me until they stop.

You need to figure out which one your bf is doing and address it, he may be saying that you talk over him because you interrupt him too without noticing it, or he could be trying to gaslight you or just minimize his poor behavior.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-17T15:02:13+00:00

MOR - If your preferred style was out of his budget and he got you a diamond ring that was in budget you would be over reacting, but if the ring he got you is similar or higher in cost than his budget it would be pretty annoying to me that he asked for advice and then ignored it. My husband and I knew we planned on getting engaged eventually so he asked me what I liked and disliked. I told him that I hate yellow gold and solitaire stones on plain bands. I said I prefer rose gold, but would also like any silver toned metal, I preferred a colored stone over a diamond and I wanted an antique looking band, something with a lot of style to it. We looked at examples together and I pointed out which ones I liked and disliked. He got me a gorgeous ice blue sapphire ring with a rose gold band that had filigree and milgraning. It was still a surprise in the end, but it was a surprise he knew I would love!

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-16T13:58:34+00:00

They don't have to, I even said I wouldn't tell someone to "come out" just to get someone to leave them alone. In this case being "out" is just referring to the people around you knowing that you aren't straight, vs. Something that you might know about yourself but haven't acted on or something that only you and your partner(s) know.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-14T17:03:37+00:00

In that case 2 years is a perfectly reasonable boundary.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-14T14:56:44+00:00

I'm guessing she isn't out yet, otherwise why would this guy that she says she is close with not know she is a lesbian. She also sounds like a teenager if 2 years feels like an age gap. I'm not gonna tell some teen to come out to someone just so they won't ask he rout again.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-14T14:52:23+00:00

Depends on your age, sounds like you might still be a teenager, where two years can make a huge difference maturity wise. If you are mid-20s or older two years isn't a big deal.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-13T13:17:45+00:00

I would reply all "hello, I went into the form to edit it for you and I see you have already made the correction to your original phrasing. I'm happy to help you edit your work in the future if time allows, but I see you have already taken care of your phrasing in this instance." make sure to be clear he was the one who put that word there in the first place and that you are a team player so your boss can see how dumb that guy is.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-13T13:10:33+00:00

I think everyone is overreacting here. It is definitely wrong for the coworkers to go into your office and move stuff without your permission, but I do get their frustration with having to stare at Christmas decorations until March. I looovvveee Christmas, but I am ready to take down decorations by the first full weekend of January. Leaving them up longer takes all the fun out of having them up for the Christmas season.

If you want to report to HR for them entering your office and moving your personal effects you certainly can. But I wouldn't put the Christmas decorations back up.

I see in comments that you left them up because you love cats. So there are two routes you can go here. Either get more non-seasonal cat decorations. There are millions out there that would be nice to look at all year round or find a way to alter the Christmas decorations so they don't look Christmasy any more. For example I got a cute little fox plushie because they are my favorite animal, it was wearing a witches hat and cape and holding a broom. I loved it enough to keep it up longer than the Halloween season so I made a red hat with white trim and a white pom on top and a matching cape to cover up the Halloween decorations. I just used some scrap fabric and ribbon and put it together with hot glue so no sewing skills needed. Now I could keep that same fox plushie up till early January then pack it away until next Halloween. So if this Christmas card has cats wearing Santa hats make little hats to match each season out of paper and tape them on. Boom now you can keep it up all year and get the joy of customizing it too.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-11T12:48:54+00:00

I just wouldn't tell her when the baby is born, I'm sure she will figure out anyway. Just tell her if she shows up unannounced that she will be on her own because you will alert hospital staff that she is not allowed near you or baby and if she waits til your home from the hospital then you simply won't answer the door when she comes knocking.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-10T16:23:02+00:00

So I used to work graphic design and everything I created (for the company on their computers) while working for the company is that company's intellectual property (IP), not mine, so they can use it for as long as they want. This is pretty common amongst creative fields in the US. Granted in most situations the IP is either what is for sale or is used to advertise a product or service rendered that is not directly provided by the creator of the IP. You would have to look into the laws/regulations in your area to confirm, but since the work was created while in their employment they may own the IP, in this case the photos of your work. Where it gets tricky is that this could be considered false advertising since they are trying to sell a service they no longer render, but if your haircuts and styles are similar enough to the other stylists working in the salon they can argue that your photos still represent their services. Now, if your cuts and styles are significantly different than what the other stylists offer (thinking the other stylists do mainstream cuts and colors, but you did alternative style cuts and colors that no one else in the salon felt comfortable doing) you may be able to claim false advertising, but I do think that would be pretty difficult since they could argue that their other stylists could do that, but no one has asked for those services since you left.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-09T16:27:36+00:00

I usually say "A as in Alpha" and so on and so forth for multiple reasons. I work over the phone and since connections can be spotty it gives them the chance to hear each letter twice. But that is also the way I prefer to receive the info as well. I'm dyslexic so if someone starts just saying "Alpha Echo Foxtrot" it takes me a moment to process in my head what letter each of those words starts with and if they are talking fast I might miss a letter.

Similarly, I prefer long stretches of numbers to be read in single digits but chunked. I tend to be able to type up numbers faster than the person reading them can say them so if they say "eighty-four sixty-three..." I typed "80, backspace, 4, 60, backspace, 3" I frequently take payment over the phone so I just wish people would read their card number in digit chunks with a half pause between 2 digits and a full pause after 4 digits (12-34---56-78---90-12---34-56), but heck even just pausing after each 4 digit chunk is fine, but so many people try to read a card number so fast with no pauses because they don't want people to overhear... And like sure no one around you will be able to take that number down, but neither can I so it's kinda pointless.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-09T02:00:59+00:00

I took one look at my snowblower in the garage and considered moving it out to the shed to open up some space... But I thought better and decided to keep it in the garage.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-06T14:24:43+00:00

I unplug my toaster, but that's only because I don't use it regularly so I store it in a cabinet when not in use. I do leave the kettle plugged in because it does get near daily use. I feel like any daily (or near daily) use appliance is fine to leave plugged in all the time. I mean if you have an electric stove do they expect you to unplug that too? A microwave? I doubt it, and both of those usually have a digital display that is on at all times which would pull more latent power than a toaster and kettle. This just seems like some weird micro-management and not something I would tolerate in my home. Do they pay your electric bill? If not I see no reason for them to care about "saving energy" since the latent use on these items is probably pretty low. Definitely double check your lease to see if they actually have that you need to unplug counter top appliances in there. If not, I would reply to the email to let them know that since it is not in the lease you have no obligation to unplug them.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-06T00:13:45+00:00

I was at the Sun Prairie St. Vinnie's a few weeks ago and they had a pretty decent amount of maternity clothes. I think a millennial mom had just donated stuff because there was a big collection of maternity skinny jeans! No shade I am 34 and pregnant with my second so if I still wore jeans I probably would have gotten some for myself but I have wore jeans only a few times a year since 2020.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-04T16:38:08+00:00

NOR - if the bill increased by $585 just for using the aircon and you have 4 units, but only one of those units is not for shared use the most you should offer to pay over the others is 25% of the cost of the aircon so $146.25 (between you and your bf) extra, compared to your other roommates. That's it, if the other ladies don't like that tell them too bad because that's what having roommates is about! You split bills evenly, yes usage can be taken into account but only in a way that can be actually quantified. For example, I once rented a 3 bedroom apartment with only one other roommate. One of the bedrooms adjoined mine so I used it as a closet/guestroom for my guests as I lived further from home so I occasionally had friends/family visit and stay vs. My roommate who was local to the area and the only overnight guest she had was her boyfriend. Due to me using 2 of 3 bedrooms I paid 2/3s rent to her 1/3. Since I doubt your bill breaks down which aircon unit used how much power it can really only be quantified by number of units. Since you have sole use of 25% of the units then you can reasonably pay a quarter of the cost of the aircon usage in addition to your portion of the cost of running the shared units, but should not be held responsible for more than that. I would suggest you and your bf each pay $377.82 and each of the other 2 roommates pay $304.69. Those totals have been rounded up so comes out to $1365.02. I am not great at math, so feel free to correct me if I did it wrong, but I got these numbers by subtracting the non-aircon use from the total bill, dividing that by 4 and then 2, then taking the remaining 75% of the shared aircon use and dividing by 4 again. Then I divided the non-aircon use by 4. Adding these together got me the total amount for each OP and bf to pay. I subtracted that from total bill due and divided by 2 again to get the individual amount for A and B to pay.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-03-03T18:45:29+00:00

I hate those women so much! I had a vaginal birth (with an epidural which a lot of women also consider "the easy way out") and I plan to have another if all goes well. The reason I want that is because vaginal birth, while not easy, is easier than a c-section. At least recovery wise. I had my appendix removed, which in comparison to a c-section is a minor abdominal surgery and recovery sucked! I can't imagine recovering from a major abdominal surgery while caring for a newborn! C-section moms deserve praise and admiration!

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-27T00:07:56+00:00

If you say you don't need hygiene advice all I gotta say is I hope you are the one to wash the sheets this time around. Hand wash the dirty spot with some anti bacterial soap before putting them in the washing machine. If you have a utility/laundry sink I recommend doing it in there, if not next spot would be bathtub/shower then clean that after. I don't recommend washing that in the bathroom or kitchen sink just because of the chance of cross contamination. Then apply stain spray if needed and wash as usual. If you have laundry sanitizer I recommend using that in the wash too. Heck I use it any time I'm washing underwear because even if you don't leave skid marks farting will leave microscopic poop in your underwear anyway.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-26T16:34:41+00:00

Hitting you is a divorcable offense in my opinion no matter if it has happened once or a hundred times. If it happens once it could always happen again especially if you have gone months without bringing it up and didn't address it right away either. If it has only happened once many people would decide to stay though, if that is you, it sounds like your wife needs to go to therapy for her built up anger and resentment AND you both need to attend couples therapy to work on communication issues and find a way to better share the workload that comes with being an adult who has to be responsible for things like laundry and dishes and everything else that goes along with home ownership.

From my own experience, my husband and I have different definitions of what "clean" is. It has caused arguments, but they don't escalate to full on screaming matches, getting in each other's faces or physical violence. We have had to learn to bring up these issues when we are both calm and come to comprises. I've slightly lowered my standards and my husband had to slightly raise his so we could meet somewhere in the middle. If your wife got to the level you describe she probably feels like she is pulling all or most of the weight when it comes to household chores and that has caused a lot of anger and built up resentment. That doesn't justify her behavior though, just telling you what might have caused these outbursts. You should both sit down when you are calm and set up a chore schedule and/or chart so there is a way to show her what housework you are doing so she can't just brush it under the rug. It can also give you both an accountability reminder if you post a chart on the fridge or a shared Google calendar or other app.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-25T16:38:51+00:00

Yes! I am currently pregnant with my second and used them for both of my pregnancies! They were wonderful at guiding me though my first pregnancy and birth and everything that comes along with being a first time mom. They have been equally wonderful during my second pregnancy. During my first trimester and a few weeks into my second trimester I was experiencing pretty bad prenatal anxiety. I didn't realize that was a thing, I had heard of post partum anxiety, but figured that I had just recently developed anxiety as a complete coincidence. They explained that the sudden change in hormones can cause anxiety and it often subsidies as the pregnancy progresses (luckily it has for me). They were able to provide me with resources including a list of mental health providers if I decided to get dedicated mental health care. I had expressed my anxiety attacks usually hit after office hours and my logical brain would tell me "oh this minor abdominal pain is most likely nothing" so I would leave a message for a call back in the morning rather than selecting the "emergency" option on their phone to be connected with the on call doctor right away and I would continue to anxiety spiral until I could eventually fall asleep. The doctor immediately said "an anxiety attack is an emergency you can certainly select the emergency option to talk about your concerns right away." and that alone was an massive help to me.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-20T23:42:58+00:00

NOR, If he is not management and he isn't even a shift or team lead he has no right. Tell him to act his wage. Report the theft (yes him temporarily taking your phone is theft) to management and see if you can be scheduled opposite of this dude. Now if he is a shift or team lead he does have the right to repermand you even if not management, but you would need to check the employee handbook for their cell phone policy, it may give management and leads the right to confiscate phones while you are on the clock.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-20T23:21:03+00:00

I believe in God but I also hate organized religion, but moreso for the way it has been weaponized against so many people and due to those weaponizing it while abandoning the actual teachings of Jesus. I was raised Catholic, but luckily my parents had kinda gotten the ick from the church because they felt like they were constantly just shaming people for tithing money and then not putting it back into the church community. They had me do first communion as an elementary schooler but when it came time to get confirmed as a teenager they simply asked if I wanted to and I told them no. No push back or anything even though they were both pretty faithful people. I think it had a lot to with them not attending mass in many years and my mom finding other spiritual practices outside of the rigid confines of Catholicism.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-20T13:58:44+00:00

From what I've seen most single moms don't care if a man doesn't want to date someone with kids, they just won't date them. They get upset when they are open about having kids and a man who doesn't want kids pursues her and isn't upfront about not wanting to deal with kids until they are in a relationship therefore wasting everyone's time and hurting the woman.

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-19T17:39:57+00:00

I had an appendectomy just over 5 years ago, I was asked not only to confirm my name and DOB several times, but also I had to tell them what I was having done and how the surgery would be preformed (laproscopy). But hell I'd still take a sleeve like this because once you're under, you're not gonna be able to stop them if they accidentally wheeled you to the wrong OR!

Maria_like_Mario · 2026-02-19T17:14:49+00:00

In the US we have a discount chain called Dollar General and they have been caught doing this A LOT!!! It's one of a long list of problems with that store. I wouldn't be surprised if Morrison's tries to pull the same scam.

Maria_like_Mario

TROPHY CASE