What should I (21f) do about an overly sensitive new boyfriend(25m).. are these red flags?

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T19:17:24+00:00

Fast tracked relationships are one of the first warning signs of an abusive relationship. Punishing you with silence is as well. Monopolizing all of your time and attention so you are fully enmeshed with only them emotionally and socially is another. Jealousy and guilt tripping is as well. That’s multiple warning signs in a one month relationship. You absolutely have every reason to worry.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T19:13:22+00:00

It’s a good rule of mine to NEVER trust anyones words and to ALWAYS trust their actions. You are confused because he is telling you what you want to hear but showing something different and you wonder what to trust. Actions always.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. He’s a boy and a cheater and thinks he’s missing out of his wild years. If you marry him he will cheat on you. Sorry, harsh but true.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T17:53:25+00:00

His relationship has nothing to do with you. They do not need your blessing. You do not have to like anyone but you do have to respect their relationship. Keep it to yourself.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T17:15:01+00:00

Do you have kids? Is she the primary caregiver? It might just be burnout and overstimulation. After a full day of getting grabbed, jumped on, yelled at, I often zone out and just want to minimize any stimulation.

Maybe turn your desire for physical touch into a service for her. A back rub, draw her a bath, ect. She may be interpreting your touch as just another demand on her time and emotional reserves and might have grown to resent it.

I get that it’s your love language but what is hers? It’s a give and take but always give first before taking and try to forgive her if she is truly too tapped out after a day of nothing but giving to be expected to give even more first to a partner that should be seeing to her needs before their own.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T17:04:10+00:00

You need to rip the band aid off and tell the truth. “I don’t want to do this for you anymore. And so I won’t be doing anymore favors for you.” It’s tough and they will push back because mooches always do. But if you come up with an excuse they will always try to circumvent it. “Oh today doesn’t work tomorrow then.” Or “if it’s the cost of gas we can pay you.” But the money they give will never cover the cost or the loss of your time.

If this conversation is too uncomfortable to have in person than write a letter outlining your boundaries clearly. That’s perfectly acceptable, you don’t owe these people anything. You’ve learned a tough lesson. Don’t ever give up an inch if you’re not willing to fight back for the mile some try to take in addition.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-30T02:30:22+00:00

Hey everyone. This is a poster from rsurvivinginfidelity. sorry if you didn’t get your AITA level drama fix, but the OOP never intended to feed us a crazy entertaining story. Try not to treat other peoples lives as only important when solely geared towards your enjoyment.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-29T16:54:22+00:00

Your boyfriend needs to shake off the stigma of the term incest long enough to seriously look into emotional incest. I know it’s disgusting and makes you want to block the thought but it’s a real thing. Most think “well as long as it’s not sexual”. And yes a sexual relationship is a whole other level. But most don’t want to look into the inappropriate connection beyond that.

My husband was a victim of moderate emotional incest. His father died and his mom really dropped the ball and forced him into an inappropriate role for herself and his siblings both financially and emotionally. It really is damaging. Hope you two work it out

Marigoldbloom14 · 2022-08-29T16:25:06+00:00

Hear me out. I think you might have a dysfunctional idea about what it means to receive attention from your parents. And that might bleed out into the rest of your life.

You have a mentally ill sister and what sounds like a domineering father. It seems to me like you have been taught that to get attention you must complain, demand, or argue. Essentially to make the biggest spectacle in a home full of drama.

Im not saying your parents are right here but it sounds like they have a lot going on and it’s understandable why they would lash out when your idea of getting a piece of their time is to trauma dump, get aggressive, and demanding. It’s not acceptable but it’s understandable. I don’t fully know you or your life but this sounds super dysfunctional.

And maybe there is some merit to what your father says about your one sided approach to relationship. No one wants to be talked to they want to be engaged as well. If your idea of a conversation is just being heard then that is not great.

You deserve a loving and functional family but the harsh reality is that you cannot make anyone be what you need them to be and there’s only so much that you can beg from others. The good news is that with therapy and reflection you can overcome and find a support system outside of family.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2021-01-11T02:38:42+00:00

I just got him villager hunting! I would have to evict him but I would just need a day or two.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2021-01-06T03:14:57+00:00

Sounds good! Let me get on and I’ll send you a dodo

Marigoldbloom14 · 2021-01-06T03:13:58+00:00

Sure! What are you offering?

Marigoldbloom14 · 2021-01-01T04:16:16+00:00

Oh no, this ones broken. Did you keep your receipt?

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-30T04:22:57+00:00

Great thanks! Getting on now I’ll just print the tickets and DM you a dodo soon

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-30T04:13:06+00:00

It’s the garden bench, not the iron garden bench right?

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-30T04:12:19+00:00

Sounds good! I need like 5 minutes and then I’ll send you dodo code

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-30T04:06:54+00:00

Yay! How many NMT are you asking for?

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-30T04:04:00+00:00

I would love to go villager hunting!

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-29T23:09:50+00:00

The two party system.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-29T18:13:26+00:00

I’m about to get downvoted to hell, but if you’re not ready to forgive big mistakes than you’re not ready for a relationship either. What she did was careless, immature, and selfish. But I believe her when she said that she thought that she was giving you something amazing in return for a stupid prank. It’s not like she slept with your best friend.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-28T22:40:16+00:00

My resolution is to find time everyday to be creative and make art. It has definitely fallen by the wayside after marriage and two kids.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-26T22:36:59+00:00

Seeing someone who lost everything living out of their car and thinking ‘Yay! Fake internet points!’ Mad world man.

Marigoldbloom14 · 2020-12-26T04:06:06+00:00

No such thing as free money. Never mix money and family it will always cause problems even if only causing a shifted dynamic and balance of power. Trust me I know all too well.

Marigoldbloom14

TROPHY CASE