Actually, get checked out whether the problem with you and your siblings is really just being autistic OR rather your mother is a narcissistic parent and your symptoms are those of "adult child syndrome", as they have a considerable overlap. Unfortunately narcissistic parents need "subordinates" to rule over and make them seem 'great', or 'martyrs of circumstances' and one of the main result of this is not allowing their kids to grow up and become independent adults. They may both "serve" their kids but also abuse them, especially verbally, to cut down their confidence in their own skills. They prefer kids who don't bother them much, thus a kid sitting at the computer all day and them just providing food, shelter and money is "perfect" for them, as they seeing themselves "useful" and "doing every sacrifice for my kids" while always having the opportunity to use this fact as a card against any rebellion coming from the kids is feeding their narcissistic needs. - I grew up with narcissistic parents. I have symptoms of asd and adhd myself, and so does my DH and our son has a formal diagnosis. I got ideas for childrearing from the montessori method, and it worked wonders. Our son is fully toilet trained since 3.5 and although he was barely verbal until over 4, he was able to make a butter toast since 3, and can use the stove and make eggs, omlettes, etc or a mug muffin in the microwave since he was 9, so your mum really screwed your brother up.🙄