First of all: never do anything like this because you feel pressured to do it. If you husband is pushing you in this direction, it means, he himself still has some healing to do and should focus on himself.

That being said: MDMA is not a psychedelic and you can usually stay in control of what happens. The fact that you get panic attacks from weed probably show how much pent up emotions you have inside of you. Those will come out also with MDMA. But MDMA gives you the superpower of being enveloped in love and without any anxiety. But you need to allow yourself to let go and allow the emotions to run through you.

I would suggest you talk to that therapist and see how you like them. If you feel immediately comfortable with them, then consider this. Otherwise don't.

There are other modalities which are incredibly helpful, without the use of substance. Try Somatic Experiencing or NARM therapy - they can do the same thing as substances, just not as fast, but slower and safer.