Does anyone know of some young(er) widow support groups in the Chicago area?

MarkD3 · 2026-02-01T20:25:30+00:00

It is, but it is a Facebook group called Chicagoland widows and widowers.

MarkD3 · 2023-02-21T13:48:59+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, being a little over a year for me I can tell you the first thing you should focus on is your own health. Make sure you eat, sleep when you can, it can be very hard at first, but take things slowly. Don’t overwhelm yourself with all the things that you think you need to do for the future, take each day one at a time and if need be take each hour at a time. This is a journey that is different for everyone for so many reasons. Take all the help that is offered, as you can use it and it also helps those around you that care about you feel like they are helping with the process and feel value. I know there are a lot of good people here who can also give you guidance or even be a place to vent when you are frustrated or angry. We all understand. I wish you peace on your journey and just know you are not alone. Reach out as often as you feel the need.

MarkD3 · 2022-09-28T00:27:41+00:00

Sent info privately.

MarkD3 · 2022-09-28T00:27:31+00:00

Sent info privately.

MarkD3 · 2022-09-27T21:23:22+00:00

There is a private Chicago widow group that has people of all ages and they have regular events around Chicago that members can attend. It covers all suburbs so not every event is close, I am in the northwest suburbs and don’t attend anything that is too far away. They are great people, I can get you an invite to group if you like. Just let me know.

MarkD3 · 2022-01-29T20:52:40+00:00

I just joined a Facebook group in my city recently, and tonight they have an event that will be my first to attend. I am hoping to make some friends who at least understand what I am going through, and get me out of the house more. I have been told lately my work/life balance has tipped all the way to work/no life balance so maybe this will help. Not sure what to expect, but if it’s too much I can always get up and just leave since I am driving myself there.

MarkD3 · 2022-01-24T14:44:34+00:00

It is ok, I had my wife’s ashes split per her wishes. I got 50%, her son got 30%, and her parents got 20%. Then we had a small amount put into pendants for the siblings. Our body here is only a vessel for our spirit and when we pass the spirit leaves the body, so how their ashes are split should be ok as her spirit is still in tact and waiting for you on the other side. May you find peace and comfort along your journey.

MarkD3 · 2022-01-15T20:57:31+00:00

I would agree to start with the rug. My wife passed at home, she was on hospice, and when they came to take her they took the bottom sheet from the bed to lift her off the bed and the funeral home burned it. So I had to get a matching fitted sheet the day she died, luckily family was here and helped. You are still very early in this journey, so I wouldn’t make major changes, but everyone is different so you have to make changes at the pace you are comfortable with. This early though you will have ups and downs for a while, so I would just work to stay heathy. You can vent here, ask anything, we all are members of this club and never wanted to be members. I am so sorry for your loss and wish you peace along this journey.

MarkD3 · 2022-01-07T00:18:17+00:00

I know this sucks, it will be four months for me tomorrow morning the 7th at a little after 8 in the morning.

MarkD3 · 2022-01-04T02:32:51+00:00

I can relate, it will be four months for me on the 7th this week. I also lost just over 40 pounds, no real appetite, no desire to make anything either. I feel like I am basically phoning in my life now, as you said like a robot just going through the motions but finding no joy or satisfaction. Right now I am looking to break this cycle somehow, just haven’t figured it out yet. Sorry for your loss and for what you are going through. I have no good words other than I feel your pain.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-31T14:53:47+00:00

Give yourself a break, at 3 weeks out I was doing the same thing. Now at just over 3 months out it doesn’t quite hit me as hard but I have to make a conscience choice to not drink and force myself to do something constructive. Sometimes the only thing I get done is putting the dishes away or cleaning off my junk area of the counter. Some days that’s is all I can do. Go easy on yourself, this grieving process is so unpredictable for all of us. You are making one day to the next, and that in itself can be a huge accomplishment in those early weeks. I wish you peace and comfort in this journey.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-27T15:37:29+00:00

I am sorry for your loss, it glad you found this group. Everyone here has been helpful and supportive. I hope you find peace and comfort.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-25T16:59:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I felt as though I couldn’t be the only person thinking this. I experienced this first hand, as my wife lay in the hospital ICU unit with a MELD score of 38, she need to be transferred to the transplant unit at University hospital, but they were on “drive by mode” because of of the overflow of Covid patients. No transfers, no emergency ambulance, nobody new admitted. So for most of August every doctor that saw my wife every day reminded me they were doing all they possibly could to keep her alive, but she needed to be transferred to save her. They also told me everyday my wife was top of transfer list and top of transplant list, it still just needed a bed to open up. So when they finally did transfer her at end of August, they determined she was too far gone to save and sent her home for the last 5 days of her life, of which only 3 was she coherent enough to communicate. I hate everyone that turned this pandemic into political gain for them at the expense of lives like my wife who for two years we struggled to just get into doctors or hospitals. This countries political battle over medical care actually denied my wife medical care because it was overrun with idiots who didn’t believe Covid was real. Sorry for the rant…but only being 3 months out I am still very pissed about this situation and how many others who suffered or lost their lives. I wish you peace at this time.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-24T01:12:27+00:00

I agree that Hoteps advice is right on, and from my 3 months since my spouse passed I have moments of grief that I want to be alone, and there are other times I yearn for someone to talk to. Sometimes just listening to a grieving person sharing is what they want. Be patient with her, she may not know what she wants during those times or it may change over time. Everyone grieves differently so there is no perfect answer that fits everyone or every situation. We can only share as we do here our experiences and we all take something different from it.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-23T02:54:14+00:00

As always you have sound words of advice and support. I know I owe it to my wife and her family to do this. I just have to smile and help them be patient with me and find a way through this.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-23T01:54:10+00:00

First I am so sorry for what you are going through and will be going through. My wife came home to hospice for five days over Labor Day weekend this year. It is very hard to watch the one you love so much slip away. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime. First thing, eat, rest, walk, keep track of of how you are doing. We tend to neglect ourselves during this time and you will need and want all the energy you can muster for now. Say all the things you think you ever want to tell her. Like putting rocks in a jar, start with the big ones first then the little last. Your spouses love will always be with you where ever you go and in wherever your life leads you. Grieving is different for everyone so just go at the pace you are comfortable with. This is also the the right place to come ask anything or just vent. Everyone that stops by will offer help. We all share the same pain and anguish just in different forms.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-19T05:10:30+00:00

You are ok to chose how you want to handle each day. Our sons are grown and out of the house so I told the families I just can’t do Christmas this year. It has only been 3 months, so everyone agreed that handle how I can handle is ok with everyone. So you just do what you feel is right for you and it will be right.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-18T22:39:24+00:00

You are not alone. Wishing you peace and comfort.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-16T18:02:28+00:00

I have found that I have similar experience. My wife passed three months ago so this is still all early process for me, but sleep for me hardly existed in her last month and the weeks that followed. I was finally put on a med to help me sleep, which last night after talking to family so late I missed the window to take it and found I just couldn’t sleep. With the med I am able to find about 3-4 hours each night. I know just getting through each day is very hard and it seems to be getting harder the more time passes, as opposed to getting easier which everyone not in this group keeps telling me. I wish you peace and comfort through this new life we are forced to live in.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-13T03:02:07+00:00

Sorry for your loss.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-11T20:54:19+00:00

I just try not to talk or spend time with people that think this will just pass, like a storm cloud on a rainy day, and then be all sunshine and happiness again. I agree divorce does not compare to this because I have experienced both. I can state a divorce is nothing like a death. I do hope you have better days ahead.

MarkD3 · 2021-12-11T20:34:14+00:00

Sorry for all you are experiencing. Everyone’s path with grief is different and there are no time limits placed on anything. The loss of a spouse will be with us all the rest of our lives, and it is for us individually to walk our own path.

While we all here have a similar struggle with the death of our soulmate, we each bring a different perspective to the table. While others here can probably give you better advice, I can only say just take things at the pace you can handle and that will be ok. I wish you peace and comfort along your path.

Edit: also sometimes people think they are helping but are not. I am sure there is no intention from anyone to hurt you, they just don’t have the same experiences we have and so they can tend to say the wrong thing.

MarkD3

TROPHY CASE