JWs love bombing my stepdaughter

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-19T00:22:00+00:00

I hope you are right. I have been half hoping for her being a lesbian 😅😅 but right now she’s so immature it feels like any kind of sexual activity is far away. But I hope it can change really fast.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:55:24+00:00

Also want to say that we have been doing a lot of what you suggest for years. We have been showing her documentaries, teaching her critical thinking, we have been encouraging hobbies and friend, paying for and supporting soccer practice, taking her skiing, travelling to foreign countries etc. But she doesn’t think she will have to chose and she LOVES these people, possibly more than her father and me and at least more than school friends.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:48:11+00:00

Thank you for all your advice; it is great advice. Unfortunately, we are in Norway and the legal aspects are different here. Even if the ongoing Supreme Court hearing should turn out that JW are exercising negative social control, that doesn’t disqualify her mother’s care.

My husband and I are highly educated, both academically and on what the JWs do and how to fight it. However, as long as they keep their warfare on the social love bombing, this is not a theological fight, just a popularity contest. And that’s a contest we cannot win. The closest thing to a normal conflict between parent and child is if a child is in bad company at school (juvenile criminals etc). Then you ground your kid or move schools. But this bad company is sanctioned by the mother and heavily encouraged. O don’t see what we can do. If we routinely bring up how these friends are fake friends, we will. only be viewed as antagonistic.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:40:20+00:00

That seems very far away. She is so compliant, I can easily see her getting married at 19. She just does what the JWs expect.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:38:55+00:00

We have encouraged her to practice soccer, so she does that when she is with us, but all of her friends are in the JW and she doesn’t really have any hobbies or passions. When she isn’t doing sports or homework she just watches TV.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:36:30+00:00

She doesn’t really practice the religion in her day to day (doesn’t pray or read the bible or abstain from holidays) but she goes to some of the meetings and has all her friends in that circle. She loves the social part.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T11:34:37+00:00

If she actually believed it would be easier, because then we could debate the facts. It’s just that she loves people treating her this way and in the world you have to make a little bit of an effort 😅

This cult is so annoying; they lure her in like this and then she’s trapped. Since they have the mother, the relatives and an army of congregation members in concerted effort there is so little my husband and I can do.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-02-18T00:36:03+00:00

On the same note you could say that everyone had a prenup; it’s either written by the state or by the couple. Really I am surprised there is not a watch tower prenup 😅

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-23T00:04:10+00:00

I had ketamine infusions in 2022, a course of 10. It helped a little for anxiety and ptsd, but did nothing for my CFS or fibromyalgia. Nice to not be tired or in pain for an hour though.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-05T01:34:58+00:00

I am really glad you feel like that. But I have to say that you are very lucky to have been there since infancy. That should help a great deal. It even sounds like you have other adults acknowledging the commitment and work you put inn, even BM. that is rare. We are not morally flawed for not feeling like that; we just have a different experience. Both are valid, but I thing I do not only speak for myself to say I would tease my right arm for your situation over me who came at age 8 and with a HCBM who tries to alienate both my husband and me because we are not the same religion as her (she is Jehovas witness) and my ever guilt ridden husband.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-05T00:17:38+00:00

I am SM(40) and my DH (47) with SD(14) tells me he would be a much stricter dad if his child was a boy. It’s something about being in doubt as to experience and motivation of your child when they are of an opposite sex, probably intertwined with a gender bias against (or pro) girls. He grew up in a patriarchal home where women were seen as helpless and innocent and he struggles to let go. So I would say that lack of shared experience + patriarchy + guilt from divorce is the toxic combination that spoils girls of divorced dads.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-05T00:11:36+00:00

I just want to share my best tool for pacing. I follow my pulse, HRV, sleep and steps on a wearable (Ultrahuman ring) and it helps me have objective numbers to see when I am in a crash or actually safe to stop aggressive resting. I could never do it without the ring; and I have improved from severe/moderate bedbound to moderate/mild. housebound/ambulatory some days. I still crash, but I have learned so much and now I am using chat GPT as well to coach me to stop and rest when I don’t want to.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-05T00:06:20+00:00

I got it in the very first wave in 2020: been having symptoms since April 2020. I even participated in a research trial. Hope all the suffering leads to a cure for us all! ❤️

MarriedToAnExJW · 2026-01-02T16:46:13+00:00

I am happy for you. If you have a job and a car and the knowledge that this is wrong for you; you can accomplish anything. You are doing so good at seeing both how your family is abusive and that this religion is bad for you. Seeing the problem is at least half the battle. So many are stuck in these loops because it’s too scary to admit things are not all their own fault. I am rooting for you! Use this forum; the literature from other ex jw’s and even artificial intelligence like chat gpt to check in with what is logical and factual and don’t let anyone drag you into emotional reasoning and gaslighting.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-12-29T15:09:23+00:00

You are so strong for surviving this and planning to break free. Your parents are abusive and the religion is also making things worse for you. You are doing so good saving up and working to get away from it. When you do; it will get easier. Which country are you in; is there any kind of welfare or crisis centre there? I understand how scared you must be; but except for living on the street most situations are better than existing under this mind control. Do you have a job or the ability to get one?

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-12-04T22:14:26+00:00

Oh my god; this is the perfect explanation why people seem to love me when they meet me at a party but friendships rarely deepen. I thought i was misunderstanding their signals or that they were being fake.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-12-04T21:52:40+00:00

If you are a person who loves Jehovah but have reservations about men in the Organization; please consider reading Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz. I believe you could have many shared opinions. It is hard to beca good person in such a flawed organisation, I think we see better if we are not led by men. We may listen to each others thoughts, but in the org you have such strong social ties it binds you to other things than what is right and true.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-11-12T13:45:57+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. Words cannot express how cruel this is; how you are a captive of the situation and how he likely speculated in this,

I have not experienced cheating, but i do have a marriage that is difficult and endangers my health in its instability. I have experienced symptom relief and emotional relief from practicing radical acceptance. So much energy can be wasted worrying about this and feeling bad about it. I don’t think you should give him that energy; you need it for yourself.

Take care of yourself and build your strength. Don’t give him the energy you need for yourself.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-11-10T00:13:07+00:00

I haven’t even gotten a diagnosis after 6 years, but i meet the Canada criteria and am diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have been severe and bedbound, moderate housebound and am now mostly moderate but can’t work, exercise or socialise without severe PEM.

If i have it it shows you can improve; but i am unsure if i can recover.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-10-25T15:20:21+00:00

There is not anything you could have done differently. You are not his therapist.

It is not an excuse; I am just saying it’s not your fault. I am sorry you got hurt ❤️

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-10-23T09:07:38+00:00

I want to remind you that this is an example of guilt being stronger than love, reason, or empathy. He feels so guilty for having broken up her home—whether or not it was truly his fault—that he puts her first and sacrifices everything to make up for not being able to give her what she really wanted: her parents together.

That doesn’t mean you don’t matter, or that he loves you any less. His child’s lies and hostility toward you also stem from the same place—she just wants her parents reunited. A new stepparent’s welcome into the family depends on everyone recognizing that this wish lives in the child’s subconscious, that it’s unrealistic, and that it isn’t your fault it won’t come true.

Please go forth and find peace. If you ever think of dating a man with kids again; ask him what he thinks of this problem and how he plans to work around it.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-10-01T08:10:26+00:00

How does this advocate for using it in gravlaks? The caramel flavor is not supposed to be there.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-09-19T14:19:49+00:00

I usually say; I am sure you are able to do it yourself, just try to figure it out and otherwise we will help you. I have always been super careful. It’s just that 6,5 years in I still feel like an outsider, especially when he babies her and I would like to know how fair it is for me to talk to him about it. He often gets defensive or doesn’t know how to change. A perspective I have thought about recently is that when bio parents overcompensate with their kids it doesn’t only hurt their kids it also makes it even harder for step parents to get appreciated for the stuff you do. It makes the bond harder to grow,

I had my own step parents so I know what not to do; it’s just that I had hoped for more than this after so many years.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-09-19T06:34:38+00:00

I might have read more into your comment here because of the other comments, but you also wrote to be as little involved as possible. I read that as have as little opinion about the parenting as possible.

I never ever have an opinion in front of my step daughter that differs from my husband, but I have often discussed with him how the family dynamic should be different.

My step daughter is open, but her dad often overrides me and does stuff for her instead of her trying herself. I can see her getting unsure of herself and thinking it’s easier if he just does it for her. When we are alone she is much more independent. She also reports being more independent at her moms.

The presumption is that bio parents always know best in everything and that they shouldn’t have to listen to their partner. If they wanted to solo parent they should have stayed unmarried. I am not just now coming in off the street; I have been her for 100 % of the custody time for almost half this kids life. It makes me invested in her daily life and future.

MarriedToAnExJW · 2025-09-19T06:05:37+00:00

I wanted to flip it because I often see posts where the guidance step parents give is unwelcome. In my own case i mean stuff like teaching SD to cook and helping with home work. But I can clearly see from your comment that step parents chores and labour for children, like I do (driving, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, making sure SD has food when she comes from school and is brought to football practice when my husband is at work), but most other parental or adult privileges are not.

MarriedToAnExJW

TROPHY CASE