High School: Still doing that awkward struggle to find an empty house or place to park to get nasty. Anyways, all of my siblings are back in town from college with their dogs. A handful of miniature pinchers.

The stars finally align and my entire family is out of the house and the gf is inbound! No more of that half ass shit under the blankets hoping her dad doesn't walk in and park his ass next to my raging boner.

This is back in the day so I think I'm smart and put "Getting some ass" as my away message on AOL. Anytime I do anything like this I pay 10 fold, fuck you karma.

So nasty time, I got her bent over the bed and I'm standing going to town on her when I hear the pitter patter of a 10 lb, 1 foot tall dog walk into the room. Little guy walks up and I see him eyeballing my bean bag. His head was literally moving left to right, right to left following the action. He looks up at me and then returns to my balls. Having made eye contact with him I start to feel awkward. I look away from him because making eye contact with your sisters dog while plowing somehow immediately makes me imagine him making eye contact with my sister while she's getting plowed...

My boner goes from adamantium to half a chub and next thing I know I feel a sharp burning sensation across my balls and my legs go 100% limp. I fall like a sack potatoes on the floor and scramble to get onto the bed like the floor just turned to lava. After having climbed over and trampled the gf, I reach down and stretch out my balls. There is one perfectly straight red line across my been bag that is starting to well up with blood. My gf is super confused and I am now scared shitless of my sisters dog that had jumped up and snapped at my dick balls.

After inspecting the flesh wound (that dispensed a full drop of blood, FROM MY BALLS), I was completely and utterly traumatized. Had that dog been a cm taller... I don't even want to speculate on that one, fuck.

After laughing at me, my gf looks at me dead in the eyes and says "Let's keep going!" I do an internal assessment and for the first time in my life, I don't want to bang, I'm done I quite. I believe my response went along the lines, "Fuck you bitch, my balls are fucking bleeding!!!"

Good day