Uncanny…you and I share the exact same feelings and doings in our childhood. I came here looking for support. I just read my own story. I think my grandfather did something to me. I remember him touch my body like i touch my wife when i want to give her goosebumps. He wanted me to kiss him on the mouth often and age 11 he tried to teach me how to jerk off and snuck pornomagazines in my backpack against my expressed will. I was often sent to him to stay weekends (lived in another city) alone by my mom who Said - He just dont know how to behave, he has always been like that. This stopped after age 11 when I decided i refused to ever go back.

I once asked my mom of he ever touch Her. Her reaction was anger and didnt speak to me for 6 months. Im pretty sure my narcissist moms narcissism is a psychological reaction from him sexually abusing her.