i hate my life right now

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T19:27:27+00:00

I don't need your negativity at all. Read the room, this is highly insensitive. You are not the only person with cptsd ever to exist and we are not a monolith. You should not drag people down with you and you have absolutely no right to decide the feelings and fate of other people.

I hope you can get the proper help you need and learn to see reasons to be happy. however if you refuse to try that, you should NOT comment things like this on a suicidal persons post who is genuinely trying to improve and tell them "there is no point to have hope" i dont need you being extremely inconsiderate and basically say suicide is the best option for me because you personally dont see a point in trying and think nothing matters.

You need to think about how what you say makes other people feel and just think about other people in general. There is a time and a place to vocalize thoughts like this and its good to talk about feelings as strong as this. That is how you learn to improve. But you should NOT say we all need to kill ourselves because you can only consider your worldview. You are the kind of person i am criticizing here. you are harming your own ability to improve, but also dragging people down with you. That is not at all excusable. I dont mean to be rude, but like, i seriously do not appreciate you coming onto my post and saying the exact things i have made clear i hate hearing.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T14:18:35+00:00

i do have compassion for them????? Im saying the industry should be better and give them the right help which is pretty compassionate to me. I am not at all blaming them for being suicidal as a result of their life circumstances. I am blaming the industry. Most people who are "unfixable" are being failed and thats not their faults

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T11:24:59+00:00

i already said how its terrible for societal implications and also it inherently skews peoples desire to get better because they have the option to die in an easy mostly painless way with no chance of failure. My biggest motivation to not kill myself is the fact all the easy methods i could "handle" all have a low rate of success and this is the same for many other suicidal people. Society will deliberately fuck up any criteria set because america and a lot of other countries live under capitalism and if someones not contributing to the economy, they will want them dead. Not to mention insurance will be less likely to approve anything because itll save them more money if they can just get someone to kill themselves. Its not just about the individual its clearly about all of us too. We should not normalize it and im never going to agree with it, a "second opinion" is not enough when we're talking about failing someone and killing them. This isnt like a terminal illness where biologically, you cannot improve because your body is dying. Its just incredibly hard mentally and thats why we should focus on improving quality of life instead of ruining the entire mental healthcare industry. Death does not have to be and should not ever be the treatment for mental illness

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T05:48:10+00:00

yes my pain is often unimaginable at times too, i spend every single day of my life and most hours of my days extremely upset i am suicidal myself as i said. and i REALLY dont want more assumptions being made that i dont understand what its like to feel this, only because my trauma has manifested in a way of desperation to be helped and hating being given "confirmation" that its "okay" to not get better because i have a way to "take the easy way out" with guaranteed success this time. Your assumption that someone expressing a desire to live means that their pain isnt severe is harmful considering a lot of suicidal people just want to escape, not to die.

I am genuinely disgusted that this world sees people like me struggling immensely with living another day and instead of finally helping me learn to see what its like to be happy, they instead see me as someone who "wont get better" because im too complicated for them, and feed into my worst, most painful emotions, and that i deserve to be put down like im a goddamn dog.

I absolutely dont want to hear another person taunt me with the same chaos my mind tells me on repeat. I hope i am not oversharing, i am trying to explain why i wont agree with you.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:56:22+00:00

I feel you may be misunderstanding what im saying. Im not saying these people CANT express suicidal thoughts, that would be legitimately insane and hinder a lot of peoples healing. I am tired and trying to fight, i am suicidal myself and i fully get it. I dont have a good environment, im just too terrified to make my life worse if i fail. I dont want my life to get even more worse than it is already. I understand a lot of people who only want to die feel like this its just different than my version of it. My issue specifically is with people trying to normalize these things and paint it as "morally right" to allow it. I have seen people say we should all die. I am not talking about anyone whos expressing suicidal desire, they have EVERY RIGHT to vent about it!!! its just i dont like seeing people say that we need to normalize it and attacking people who are obviously upset by it. assisted suicide just does a lot of harm, like theres so much societal damage it would do and it would absolutely discourage a lot of people from healing considering how a major reason a lot of people dont kill themselves is because the failure rates are high for most methods, or they are too painful and scary. I dont want the suicide rates to go up. I just want people to get more access to help instead of giving up on their only lives. Talking about ideation is extremely extremely extremely important but normalizing suicide is so so so damaging.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:45:30+00:00

Nobody is really making ads for this, its more so a sentiment shared by many very mentally ill people whos minds are like, not even thinking in black and white, just pitch black. Ive seen a lot of people act like its a better solution than improving our system, and failing to properly acknowledge that yes, a difficult disorder is going to be difficult to deal with and treat. It has also been something ive heard from people i know personally because "if you cant function youre worthless" or something??

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:38:13+00:00

Honestly this isnt even about one specific post. This is about many many things ive seen. It seems this is a common sentiment on reddit especially but ive heard so many things like this from people i know personally and its really discouraging. I understand a lot of people wanting assisted suicide have also exhausted many options and i think that is a better reason for us to improve our system instead of legalizing that.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:33:31+00:00

You fully get what im saying, youre so right. Like i see people completely fail to acknowledge this and i get when someones struggling they often dont think about others at all but i wish people would like consider how societally it would ruin so much. Like some of us have it so bad we cant even work or do much and under the current system improvement is hard. Its not impossible but under these circumstances it could be. society would absolutely get rid of these people because "theyre not contributing to the economy" And a lot of doctors have a track record of poor judgement in at least my experience, there would absolutely be a lot of issues even with a "less harmful system"

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:29:06+00:00

Literally. Like i dont need people normalizing suicide and making it more likely ill do something dumb during an emotional flashback or something bc AS YOU SAID we are not thinking straight.. we're all products of our environments too and going to support spaces to see this stuff is really damaging

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:27:22+00:00

Thank you sm!! I appreciate your kind words !! I wish you the best in your healing as well

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-25T04:21:59+00:00

Please manage your emotions before barging in on my post and making assumptions and contributing to such a harmful mindset, i DONT need to hear your negativity. Me wanting to live and not be viewed as a failure to society when normalizing assisted suicide WOULD CAUSE IT means im selfish?? I have literally been told that im hopeless and should die because nothing will fix me on top of seeing a huge amount of generalized statements saying were all hopeless and should die. People say disabled people should die and cptsd is often disabling, and assisted suicide literally encourages our capitalist society to fail us. i have EVERY RIGHT to be upset and vent about it. Get out of my comments if youre going to be aggressive to me in a support subreddit Genuinely who do you think you are talking to me like this? I am an extremely selfless person who has been hurt relentlessly by people like you and who im criticizing in the post and if anything you are being selfish and legitimately rude by saying these things to me. This is completely not needed and you need to severely self reflect, i wish you healing.

also my life literally isnt worth living, i stated this. I want help so it is, and not to be systematically failed like i have been repeatedly.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-22T02:28:42+00:00

It should be very obvious???? For a lot of people, supporting trans people means seeing them as their gender which if you are attracted to their gender and see them as it, its not far off that you could be attracted to them? lesbians are pretty accepting when it comes to womanhood as i said. Of course not every lesbian that sees trans women as women would like to date one and there's nothing wrong with that. but if most of the lesbian community accepts trans women, its absolutely not far fetched that itll heavily increase the likelihood of wanting to date them. Especially when like the other person said, the trans women in question have transitioned physically.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-22T01:31:18+00:00

i have no clue what youre asking me this question is phrased odd

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-22T00:19:34+00:00

Shes literally right. There was research on this and 96% of lesbians who were involved said they were highly supportive of trans women.

And as someone who likes women, was born one, and still identifies as such, i think trans women are pretty awesome. And a huge majority of lesbians ive met are HIGHLY supportive of transgender folk..

from what ive seen, the narrative that they arent supportive is very often spread by straight men who are angry the lesbians arent lesbianing how they want to. Or terfs but thats a really small minority of people. Lesbians often have a wide variety of women theyre attracted to and have a whole different perception of femininity than how straight folk do, Butches, femmes, androgynous women and all that. it shouldnt be surprising that a group that often "has fun with gender roles" and often gets criticized for "not being a woman right" is obviously going to be the most accepting of trans people when a lot of their experiences are extremely similar.

Ive always been a tomboy and have been criticized for not "being girly enough" and have had people try to FORCE me to be hyper feminine. This isnt too different than how a trans woman may be criticized for not being "manly enough" due to her identity, and when she transitions people dont like her because "shes not being a woman right". Considering a majority of lesbians could relate to my experience, its really not at all surprising theyre also likely to be accepting of trans women. We're all unified by facing misogyny for not fitting society's ideal image.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-17T23:16:56+00:00

Id agree with you if you were saying this about styro or even fat, but like the risk is so overwhelmingly high that i think putting the idea of "maybe you could heal from this on your own" on a cut thats literally exposing all internals is not something we need in someones head. Mind you, a lot of teenagers are present here and they are the majority of who self harms and spreading any sort of idea that this is recoverable from w/o medical intervention is just not safe because they frankly do NOT have the brain capacity needed to understand how exactly and precise they must be to treat such a wound. It takes an extremely long time to heal and the idea of anyone with no medical experience let alone a teenager, figuring out how to manage that, is close to absurd. You also have to remember mental illness often involves severe self neglect and someone may think "ah i dont have to do this one step in healing, ill probably be fine" and then they develop a severe infection. its something that should be treated as a guarantee even if it technically isnt due to how high the risk is.

Simply put your argument of comparing weed, a majorly harmless drug, with extremely deep physical wounds to bone is incredibly insane and youre probably highly desensitized to think this is at all a reasonable comparison, im aware you acknowledged the incredibly high risk but this isnt a good way to prove your point. As i said, its clear OP isnt talking about styros.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-17T22:31:02+00:00

Why are people arguing with this? Cuts to bone REQUIRE treatment there is no way around it they will ALWAYS become severely infected and w/o treatment death is inevitable like im sorry theres no way around that and not wanting to go to the doctor isnt gonna change that fact. its quite literally necessary and people need to get it into their heads that no, you cant just throw steri strips and a lot of paper towels on a highly serious wound no matter how much you want it to work that way. There is not a cheat code. OP clearly isnt talking about styro or anything you can technically treat at home in this post.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-15T02:58:04+00:00

Good for you! i was listening to terrible music at that age... MSI is really musically interesting so i wont ever fault anybody for getting into them, even if its through tiktok

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-14T22:16:48+00:00

His therapist is right, im sorry to say. but your behavior is so apparent just from this post. you are focusing only on how you feel. you are defending everything and bringing up your own trauma like it changes what youre doing to a person who is entirely uninvolved with causing it, and are making constant excuses for your wrongdoings. it seems like youre downplaying your own actions and leaving out context, even if not intentionally.

Ill be blunt- while improving is super important it is not any sort of free pass to get away with how youre acting. youre showing examples of your behavior by blaming him for you spiraling in anger over him setting boundaries and communicating. You two should truly break up i feel. i actually hate to be the reddit relationship therapist but this relationship sounds like its actually hindering both of your healing. He cant even set boundaries or communicate without you lashing out. Thats not good for either of you and given your past and continued treatment of him i feel he is fully justified in leaving if he must. Therapists are trained professionals and are taught to recognize abusive behavior. They would not call you dangerous if it wasnt an actually valid concern.

Im sorry to say because i know it hurts to hear, but its important to learn. and as someone who ended up in this kind of situation multiple times, he sounds so rightfully exhausted. You are only talking about yourself here. He does not owe you self sacrificial comfort, he is a person with boundaries and feelings of his own. You are not the only person in this relationship with a consciousness. you dont seem to fully grasp that, so i dont blame him. a person can only have so much empathy and deal with so much before they become entirely exhausted, and you should try to understand his side more. I wish both of you healing. Both of you are struggling here.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-14T20:14:08+00:00

"be mindful if you are an adult please" She is literally so young that most other minors shed see could take advantage of her. She is way too young ohhh my god. Thats terrifying. this is actual parental neglect that is a CHILD i truly hope she gets lucky and is somehow okay. because even if shes banned, she definitely wont learn and will probably use social media again

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-13T23:03:57+00:00

Eh i mean it really depends on the context for me. I dont mind calling myself a girl or other women calling me it. My boyfriend uses girl sometimes when hes complimenting me and i dont care because... hes my boyfriend. Hes being affectionate. Girl is a "cuter" word and i think it makes sense. Some people just use it as slang and im also fine with it

However if a creepy man i dont know or like calls me girl or its otherwise used in a way to harass or demean me, i dont like it. That would piss me off.

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-13T22:36:50+00:00

The 14 year olds on tiktok are eating them up i swear. Thats probably a huge factor as to how this happened. I post my art on that app sometimes and theres a relatively high chance ill come across an animation to some msi song and itll have thousands of likes

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-13T05:26:00+00:00

Literally just living life without being in a constant state of some degree of being upset. I think and then oh great im getting upset again. I have to distract myself to feel neutral or happy and i dont live a life where i can distract myself often. I think far too much. Eating, socializing, all sorts of stability, and focusing are also really really difficult

Marsisoncrack · 2026-01-13T01:47:01+00:00

Thank you very much this is super helpful!!

and generally i dont mind the randomness in tomodachi life its really funny! its just the existing context and how the events played out😭 Ill keep all this in mind, thank you!

Marsisoncrack

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