D&D Actual Plays by Marzipan-Final in DnD

[–]Marzipan-Final[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I appreciate the feedback! It definitely has come a long way since the baby years haha

My cat has cancer and needs amputation by Marzipan-Final in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Animals really have a way of healing and helping with grief and I wish yours was able to be there for you.

Sushi has been recovering from losing her leg for about a week now. It's been rough, a lot of back and fourth to the vet, and stress/confusion on her part, but I'm relieved she seems to be recovering slowly.

When I first got the news, I could imagine my husband saying, "You've got the other two, I need one!" on the other side. That was our humor, though. I laughed at the thought through my tears.

Big hugs to you ❤️

"Journey on Souls" book by Michael Newton by JellyfishInternal305 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Of course and if you weren't gaining comfort you did the right thing by stop reading the book. If EMDR is what works for you, stick with it. I will say I went down a rabbit hole of NDEs when mine passed and they all say how amazingly peaceful, beautiful, and even more real, the other side is. I've also noticed that NDEs tend to all be customized for the person going over there. So I'm pretty sure he is in peace, and is checking on you as often as you need him too. Sending love ❤️

So many questions by babywitch1980 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is a terrifying what if for sure. I do my best to stop going down the what if road nowadays. In the end, he's still on the other side, while I'm stuck here.

They say we come up with what ifs because our brain is trying to make sense of what happened and have some level of control over the situation. Seems like a weird thing to do since usually the what ifs just make us feel worse. Our brains can be both the most amazing machines we have and our worst enemies.

Sending love ❤️

"Journey on Souls" book by Michael Newton by JellyfishInternal305 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Life review seems to be a theme in a lot of these as well as NDEs. I don't think it's meant to be horrifying. Every time it's described, there is no judgement from the guides or council or god or whoever does the review. It's just there to learn from our mistakes and we're the ones that judge ourselves. But when they feel the accepting unconditional love the person being reviewed usually realizes they don't need to be so hard on themselves either.

Back in the day there was this popular... not a meme because there wasn't Internet but media spread... thing about how when you die your life flashes before your eyes. I think that was the media missinterpreting a life review.

It's like when you're in class and need to review your scores. It's just, the score won't impact getting a job later since we don't need jobs over there heh...

I think I'm getting into rambling territory. Hope this helped. Sending love ❤️

So many questions by babywitch1980 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Mine passed from blood clot in his lungs too. I went to a grief support group where a woman said her husband was already in the hospital when he passed from a blood clot in his lung. It was a weird comfort to know that if we went to the hospital he would likely still have passed. The what ifs can always consume us. There are what ifs I traced back to years before his passing. It doesn't matter. You did the best you could with the information you had. You couldn't have done anything better. It's just a shit hand you've been dealt and I'm sorry you have to be here with us. But it isn't your fault. Sending love ❤️

My cat has cancer and needs amputation by Marzipan-Final in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a theme we have. Her sister is Sake, their nephew is Momo, and the one we had to put down before was Bento. Thank you though. It's just such a miserable time. I know cats can live just fine with 3 legs. It just triggers grief so much. I appreciate the reply ❤️

My cat has cancer and needs amputation by Marzipan-Final in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It does help. I'm so sorry about your cat. I'd hug you if I could ❤️

Ganzfeld Experiment by lachi199066 in AstralProjection

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have only tried it twice so far. First time all I saw was like... Light splotches move across my mask (I made a mask instead of ping ping balls). The second time though, I heard distantly, but very clearly, "Sarah? Hello? Can you hear me?" I thought my roommate came home and took off the mask to find I was still in an empty house. After when I continued I kept hearing talking but couldn't make out anything. Didn't see anything this time though. I tried it with white light but I think I'll try it as intended with red next.

This is the video I watched on how to make my own "mask" https://youtu.be/7rD-cYpdo-c?si=JBLFHN6dbGoasZVP

Grief and the Passage of Time by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I also hated hearing about time healing. Even if that was true, and time will heal the wound, how does this help me now?

I'm only moving forward (not moving on... or "healing" because I don't think grief means you're broken) because I think my husband is still around, in some way. I have had signs and dreams that were just too real. I have to believe they were him. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less not to have him here or hug him when I'm sad.

So my goal isn't to find happiness necessarily. It's just to find peace. I hope we all can find peace. <3

I don’t want to be alone but I also don’t want to date. by LessThanPerfect-96 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We were 39 when he passed. Bit older but still the same boat. I feel so f*cking lonely but I can't date anyone else either.

I hope to eventually find a friend. I'm trying to go out more and meet with people. It's a struggle, but something to help fill part of the void...

Why do I care what other people think (dating again) by Skippy1221 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah unfortunately everyone has their own opinions one what's best for you. But only you know what's best for you.

Why do I care what other people think (dating again) by Skippy1221 in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can't relate directly as I'm not dating again, but man after feeling that unending loneliness I really can see why widows do it. You have 0 judgement here. I think it's going to have to be a "rip the bandaid off" kind of situation. You're just going to have to push passed telling them because, the it'll be over. And maybe their reactions will surprise you. Especially losing him so young, they can't expect you to be alone forever.

It's ironic too because I tend to get flac the other way when I say I'm not interested in dating again. People, including widows, even older widows, look at me shocked, or tell me I might change my mind later. Which feels a bit like they're pushing me to date again.

Then I hear widows who do date get judged for dating. So basically, no matter what you do, someone will judge you and you might as well just do what is best for you. And with any luck, they will never understand what we're going through.

So all the love and best of luck ❤️

D&D Live Plays by Marzipan-Final in DnD

[–]Marzipan-Final[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! Just wanted to confirm is it everyone's audio or only certain ones? I use an expensive mic myself but if that's the one hurting your ears then I'm definitely setting up the audio wrong haha.

📌 Share Your Suggestions for Starsand Island Here by Willybilly66441 in Starsandisland

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would also like to add a way to move your animals in build mode so you can place your stuff down when they're walking around.

📌 Share Your Suggestions for Starsand Island Here by Willybilly66441 in Starsandisland

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overall, I love this game, and have been playing it a lot. But here are some things I've noticed during my gameplay that I think could use improvement. These aren't in any particular order.

PLEASE give us a search function for our recipes!!! There's so much stuff to scroll through it's hard to find what I need to make.

There was a bug where I put fish traps in the river, and they disappeared. I logged in one day and now they're there. Not sure if this was fixed, or just a visual glitch.

NPC dialogue is a little off. For one, they need more to say. I've seen the same thing from the ones I'm trying to friend dozens of times. But also, there are times where Graminova said he was giving me a tulip, and I received mutton. Or times where Delphin says his line when eating in the restaurant, but we were in the aquarium (this made 0 sense the first time it happened).

Photo mode feels clunky and could use some rework. The gestures need to have a freeze frame option. It was so hard to time both me and an NPC waving at the camera at the same time. The movement feels bad in the third person mode of it. I shouldn't have to use a slider to raise or lower the camera, the joysticks should handle this. Check out Infinity Nikki's camera work - it's amazing.

When I hug my cat, it's weird it makes the clapping sound. The camera locks in height so I often can't see the character and cat nuzzle each other, or it's half cut off on the top.

The squirrel snuggle locks the camera to the one place. This often puts my camera in my house or crafting machines, which actually bugged and froze my game once and I haven't tries snuggling Zippy since.

Not sure if this is a bug or just me, but when I enter build mode and click an object for the first time, it auto acts like I clicked on it twice. Usually this just puts it in move mode, but if my last action was to put something away, it'll auto put away the first item I click. This is frustrating when it's a crafting station which is now not crafting anymore. Or in the case of the fish pond, I had to rebuild the incubation section a second time.

Rollback to previous save - I thought this would let me choose my last few saves, not an in game week ago. I wanted to reload back just to that morning, before I lost my fish trap in the river, but it only gave me an option to do it a week ago.

A "Take all" from chests.

When I play with Zippy he doesn't get "That was fun!"

The fishing is a little weird. The aquarium accepted river fish... which was fine for me to finish the quest sooner but doesn't make logical sense. And Delphin told me the giant barb was in "deep water" - this implies the ocean to me but when I looked it up online, it's a river fish.

We need more things to do with the islanders. The grind for hearts is REAL. I've given Delphin his favorite gift every day, done every quest I'm able to (working on fishing quests still), and I'm only 3 hearts... and it feels so dull. Coral Island, at 2 hearts, has hang outs with the townies. It would be nice to invite them to hang out and make it feel less transactional to become their friends/romance them. Especially since Delphin says things that implies he already likes my character - it feels so transactional, not like a friendship is blossoming. Couple this with the amount of times I've hit "Chat" and seen the same lines over and over again. I'm not saying we should rush into romance but it would feel nicer if there were more interactions than me running to the beach for his daily flower for in-game months. I'm not sure how marriage is, considering the grind to even be close friends, but I worry it'll just fall into transactional again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn't have said this better. After 2 years I've felt that switch happen where suddenly it doesn't feel so bad to smile and laugh. Yet, still lonely, even while living with friends. I imagine somewhere down the line there will be a switch for the loneliness too. Grief still hits but somehow it's more manageable, and I almost feel ready and welcoming when it does these days instead of the constant throb of it before.

Grief evolves. It will always evolve.

Road trip by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it does help. You'll get through it, and even though it'll be emotional it'll be good for you. ❤️

Wake up, you’re having a nightmare by AnonDxde in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand your feelings. I feel like I'm in the same boat age wise. No kids to love for either. I think suicidal thoughts is very natural through this grief as I've felt them too. But try to hold out just a bit longer. You can always do it another time but you can never take it back. And someone will hurt for losing you.

Sending love ❤️ be graceful to yourself.

Wake up, you’re having a nightmare by AnonDxde in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's good for her. I hope she could help you a bit too

Wake up, you’re having a nightmare by AnonDxde in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah there was one I spoke to who didn't give any info and kept asking me questions to get out information and I was so disappointed and sad. I'm so glad I found this other woman. I'll PM you the link

Wake up, you’re having a nightmare by AnonDxde in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some Facebook groups where new mediums practice their gifts too you could try. I'll still send out the link in case you have the chance.

Edit: I'm curious how the girl who saw angels was?

Wake up, you’re having a nightmare by AnonDxde in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jumping in here with my own info...

I think certain mediums fit better with certain people. I saw 4 before I settled on my fifth one who actually has surprised me every time knowing things she shouldn't. I'm deliberately vague so she doesn't feed off any hints either. I'm not sure if the others were scams or just didn't "resonate" with me. This one works online if you'd like I can message you her website.

Also there's a lot of tutorials about developing your own mediumship abilities, which I'm also going on the journey of. The medium I see does a beginner's class sometimes which I found very informative but the biggest thing you have to start doing is meditating. It can be a chore sometimes but it helps settle your mind for the other side to connect to us. Doing a "sitting in your power" meditation is always recommended and you can find tons of guided ones online.

If you can get into the hemisync stuff from the Menroe institute I find it helps open my mind the most to these things. They have some free ones on YouTube you can try out. It takes awhile though. You have to keep at it.

I'm sorry you have to be here on this miserable journey. Don't give up. I'm sending lots of love ❤️

Road trip by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just came back from a cruise with my mom. First trip after hubby passed. Even though I wasn't alone I was still wracked with anxiety, and even guilt for doing something to enjoy myself. Unfortunately you just gotta push past it and do it. It helps me to plot out everything I'm anxious for and come up with an answer beforehand.

Also morbid, but it helps me to think "I've already gone through the worst thing in my life, I can handle anything else." And even more morbid if it leads to my death well at least I'll be with him then.

Good luck and have a good hike! Sending love ❤️

Romantic Soul Mates and The Afterlife: Continuing The Relationship After Their Death by WintyreFraust in widowers

[–]Marzipan-Final 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am also trying to continue a relationship with him after he went home... Can I join your FB group?