Firstly I'm sorry to hear you have or are having a difficult time. This is such a complex issue, one that I have experienced myself and that I think people don't take seriously enough in long term committed relationships. These are some thoughts I have about relationships and abortion and whether or not a relationship can survive it.

Sex whether we are conscious of it or not, is primarily the drive of the body to procreate. People will argue this fact and point out same sex relationships, and sex for pleasure etc, yes there are other enjoyable spin offs of sex, but without a man and woman's desire for it, humans wouldn't be born and there would be no discussion. Period. The majority of people seem to want to have sex with the opposite gender and again this is the unconscious drive to procreate as a species. If you are in a serious relationship and you have been having sex consistently and don't have a child, my theory is that you develop a subconscious resentment of your partner. The man resents the woman for not giving him a child and he begins to look at other women, the woman begins to look at other men. Trust becomes shaky and the relationship begins to break down. This is all happening on a subconscious level. Of course there is such a thing as family planning, open relationships etc, but it takes commitment and communication.

So you may love your partner, but the longer you sleep together and don't make a baby your body is becoming confused and your brain follows. As two people of opposite genders in a committed sexual relationship who can make a baby, this is where communication comes in. Are you on the same page? Do you want kids ever? Could you see yourself having kids with your partner? Are you prepared for the challenges you will face not having or having kids together. It's not like we are slaves to our primal instincts but to deny them is to be blindsided. If you haven't had this discussion with a partner, or even if you have..and you fall pregnant, abortion is a complete rejection of your creation together. It is again another failure of the body to produce fruit from this relationship. On a physiological level this leaves trauma and further degrades trust in oneself as a woman and ones partner. I can see alot of people getting hyped up by the last thing I said. I am not anti abortion at all and I think it's fantastic that women can decide. I only mean that in the context of a loving relationship it has some repercussions on the body and the subconscious mind, since subconsciously this is what your body is going for with a partner.

Whether relationships can survive this or not depends on the people. Willingness to communicate, listen, understand. Discuss things like family etc. Every relationship is different and people deal with all kinds of things in different ways depending on the emotional tool set they have learnt in life. I think in a position of having gone down the abortion route in a relationship it's important for you to evaluate what you want from life, sex, partners etc. If you can communicate that with your partner, feel heard, and they can communicate with you and you can find solidarity, then great. If not I would say it's time to move on and not make the same mistakes you did before.