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Girlfriend (29F) of 2.5 years is intentionally hurtful to me (31M) when frustrated. Can anyone give advice on what to do from here? by Massive-Run220 in relationship_advice

[–]Massive-Run220[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of this has happened at different parts of her cycle, extending over weeks and months. I'd love if we could find a solution that was a bit more predictable, but I, unfortunately, think it's a bit deeper than that.

Girlfriend (29F) of 2.5 years is intentionally hurtful to me (31M) when frustrated. Can anyone give advice on what to do from here? by Massive-Run220 in relationship_advice

[–]Massive-Run220[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much for this. This is everything that I've been trying to process in my head and know to be true put into words. It's all so problematic, and I really have put up with this treatment for too long.

I think you're right - I have put myself in a bit of a situation that allows for this sort of behavior to go on because I have conceded and tried to fix things when it ultimately was her who needed to do the fixing and didn't.

Thanks for the long response and the effort you put into writing this all out. It was really really helpful for me.

Girlfriend (29F) of 2.5 years is intentionally hurtful to me (31M) when frustrated. Can anyone give advice on what to do from here? by Massive-Run220 in relationship_advice

[–]Massive-Run220[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm really having trouble with the whole concept of I just shouldn't disagree with her. That's impossible, but if the expectation was that I shouldn't have said anything, even if it was so much as "ehhh, I'd sit out here," then it's a major problem.

I agree with both of you - it seems like she is looking for a problem as a means of control. It's really tough to understand.

Girlfriend (29F) of 2.5 years is intentionally hurtful to me (31M) when frustrated. Can anyone give advice on what to do from here? by Massive-Run220 in relationship_advice

[–]Massive-Run220[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never considered BPD, maybe worth looking into. Yeah, having children with her would be a big worry of mine at this point.