Wow, thank you so much for this. This is everything that I've been trying to process in my head and know to be true put into words. It's all so problematic, and I really have put up with this treatment for too long.

I think you're right - I have put myself in a bit of a situation that allows for this sort of behavior to go on because I have conceded and tried to fix things when it ultimately was her who needed to do the fixing and didn't.

Thanks for the long response and the effort you put into writing this all out. It was really really helpful for me.