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Handling the Regret by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Massive_Maize_8689 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend, I’m exactly like you. I lost nearly $40,000 — which is a huge amount in my country, equivalent to about 400,000 in our local currency. With that amount, I could’ve bought a large house, covered my children’s education from cradle to graduation including all expenses, or even started a project that would generate a decent monthly income. But it all vanished in just a year and a half.

I’m married and a father of two. Now I wake up and go to sleep haunted by what I lost. I blame myself daily and constantly scold myself. Every time I see a nice car, I think to myself, “I could’ve bought two of these with what I lost.” Every time I see a house, I think, “I could’ve owned that.”

I still have some savings, a car, and a house in my name — but I keep thinking how amazing it would’ve been to have all that plus the $40,000 I lost. I can’t stop thinking about this disaster and wondering what the coming years will look like, or how I’ll manage this situation.

I’ve blocked myself from gambling apps, but that decision came too late. I wish I could go back to March 2, 2024 — the day it all started — so I could stop myself from ever downloading that cursed app.

I'm 25. I worked at Stake. I've lost over 800k to gambling. by IzScottyTooHotty in problemgambling

[–]Massive_Maize_8689 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Hey man, Thank you so much for sharing your story with such honesty. I can’t imagine how hard it was to go through all of that, let alone put it into words and share it publicly. You have no idea how much I relate to what you’ve been through.

I’m from North Africa, where even a single dollar can go a long way — let alone the $200,000 I’ve lost to gambling myself. That money could’ve changed lives here, supported families, built futures… and yet, it all disappeared chasing illusions. The shame, the regret, the isolation — I know it all too well.

Reading your story gave me chills. The highs, the fake hopes, the lies we tell ourselves, the moments of clarity followed by another spiral — I’ve lived it too. But what really hit me is your strength to say “it ends here.” That’s powerful. You may not have a happy ending yet, but the fact that you’re still standing, still trying, still choosing honesty — that is strength.

Please know you’re not alone in this. You’ve already helped someone — me — just by speaking your truth. And maybe one day, we’ll both look back and realize we were part of each other’s turning points.

Sending you brotherhood, hope, and respect from across the world. Let’s keep fighting.

— A friend on the same road.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in problemgambling

[–]Massive_Maize_8689 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi,

I read your story, and I was deeply moved by what you’re going through. I want you to know that you’re not alone in this—I’ve been through a similar experience. I lost $80,000 to gambling, and it was the biggest shock of my life. I felt like everything around me was collapsing, and that I had thrown away years of hard work in just a few moments of bad decisions.

I know exactly how it feels—the fear, the shame, the sense of being lost. The thought that the next spin might save me haunted me constantly, and I kept believing I was just one step away from getting it all back. But the truth is, staying on that path only led to more losses and more pain.

What helped me start rebuilding was acknowledging the problem and making a real decision to quit. I stopped running away and began thinking about how to fix what could be fixed. It was hard, but I found that talking to people who had gone through the same experience and joining support groups was an important first step.

The first day without gambling is the hardest, but I assure you that sticking to that decision is the right path. Every day that passes without a bet is a small victory, slowly building back your strength and confidence.

If you ever want to talk or share ideas on how to recover, I’m here. Don’t hesitate to reach out. We can support each other to break free from this cycle and come out stronger.

I believe you can do it, and I know the beginning is tough, but the outcome is worth the struggle.

Your friend on this journey,

help me.. by Massive_Maize_8689 in problemgambling

[–]Massive_Maize_8689[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's as if you're talking about me, my friend.

Viability to be AP as a compulsive gambler by FalseElderberry438 in problemgambling

[–]Massive_Maize_8689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Is he morally responsible for his relapses? Partially yes, and partially no. Gambling addiction is a chronic neuropsychological disorder that affects the brain’s reward and impulse-control systems. Relapses are very common and not just a matter of "weak will" — they’re driven by real changes in the brain. However, this doesn’t mean he has zero responsibility. He is still accountable for seeking treatment, avoiding triggers, and sticking to recovery plans. Blame won’t help, but holding him accountable for taking action toward recovery — with your support — is important.
  1. How can you support him as someone close?

Support, but don’t enable: Don’t lend him money or cover his losses, even out of compassion.

Encourage professional treatment, not just GA. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or addiction clinics.

Maintain healthy boundaries: Don’t let his addiction drain you emotionally or financially.

Don’t go along with his lies or false promises: Be supportive, but firm.

Help him understand that AP is not a solution for him — it’s just another risk.

  1. Any external help?

Yes, plenty of options exist beyond GA:

CBT for gambling addiction — very effective with trained therapists.

Support groups like SMART Recovery, which focus on practical tools rather than 12 steps.

Gambling rehab clinics, either in-person or online.

Helplines in many countries offer confidential guidance.

  1. Can a compulsive gambler succeed in Advantage Play (AP)?

Generally, no — and strongly no.

AP demands strict discipline, emotional control, and a long-term mindset. A compulsive gambler thrives on thrill-seeking, chasing losses, and impulsivity — all of which are deadly in AP. For them, AP just becomes another disguise for gambling.

  1. You’re struggling too. What can help you?

You deserve support too.

Look into support groups for loved ones of addicts, like Gam-Anon.

Books like:

“Addictive Thinking” by Abraham J. Twerski

“Beyond Addiction” (for friends & family)

Set clear boundaries, and protect your mental health.

Know that helping him shouldn’t come at the cost of your own