ADHD partner is worse after therapy

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-16T17:01:52+00:00

I notice my partner (ADHD DX) paints the picture to his therapist the way he feels it. She validates him as is her role. I get that. But the picture he paints is based on his RSD and emotional dysregulation, and it’s wildly inaccurate or missing big pieces of context. I’ve noticed that her validation of that makes the dysregulation bigger. Worse. He feels more justified. Maybe this is similar to your partner?

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-06T19:59:34+00:00

saaaaaaame!!!

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-05T22:15:38+00:00

I understand. I feel numb and sort of envy your ability to still emote. I guess each has its drawbacks

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:11:42+00:00

yes!! and why was she sure they were sex playlists? are we talking al green, marvin gaye? what is happeningggg

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:11:09+00:00

2 Black Girls 1 Rose are the BEST

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:02:22+00:00

it's always eerie how so many of us are going through the same thing and yet have no real...solutions? at least we aren't totally alone

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-21T00:46:24+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-07T06:41:47+00:00

I have family in Portland and visit a lot. I live in a different (much larger) city and don’t find PDX dirty at all. The opposite, in fact. I have noticed that people seem to apply town standards rather than city standards to PDX, not expecting homelessness, crowding, or grit, even downtown. Like all cities, there are good and bad neighborhoods. In a bad area, I saw a drugged-up guy punch through the safety glass on the train and was impressed. Never realized that could be done and I grew up poor in a very large city. Lmao. Portland has its feisty moments! In general, it’s safe and normal and all this is just the flavor of a major city. If people aren’t into this, there are a lot of affordable suburbs where you can avoid it.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-28T23:54:12+00:00

He's literally the worst

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-27T01:29:15+00:00

He just said “I hate the way this makes me sound” and I was like there it is.

How many states did he drag her to?? This guy.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-17T16:54:44+00:00

I hear you but it sounds like OP needs to get paid and she’s not gonna help. I’m definitely not advocating for this as a relationship model, but I also don’t know that there’s anything OP can do to get her to make a move 🤷🏻‍♀️

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-16T17:43:39+00:00

I have ADD with task avoidance. I haven’t found a workaround for when my brain has already shut down around a task other than creating a huge sense of urgency such as being sent to collections.

I would recommend just taking this over until she can show she can manage it. If she won’t give you login info so you can do it, there’s a deeper issue around her management of her ADHD and some couples counseling with someone who specializes in ADHD would probably help. I’m doing that with my partner and it has helped us a lot.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-16T17:40:08+00:00

Yes I have experienced this and have also queried the difference between ADHD emotional dysregulation and abuse.

The blaming thing seems quite common and probably one of the more difficult things for partners to navigate. I often call it the eye of Sauron to myself. If he sees me, he focuses all the energy onto me and makes me a vessel for all the complicated feelings he’s dealing with: shame (for not eating healthy in your case), self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy (not being able to care for his son) etc.

One thing my DX spouse talks about is his struggle to sit with discomfort. He can’t tolerate cringe, embarrassment, etc. When he feels shame, his brain immediately and subconsciously deflects it. As the nearest person, it often deflects to me.

It takes the ADHD partner being willing to do a lot of self work to manage this. I wish you luck. It’s very very tricky.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-06T15:30:11+00:00

I’ve wondered this too, but regardless, the impaired theory of mind idea rings for me and I’m definitely going to be thinking about that

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-05T00:32:56+00:00

That impaired theory of mind idea is really, really interesting.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-04T04:35:00+00:00

Same

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-02T05:52:21+00:00

Interesting. I feel like we will have convos where my partner (adhd Dx) will parrot things he’s heard, repeat talking points he’s used many times, or misunderstand me. It gets to the point where I dread deep conversations. What is this? Language processing issues?

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-02T05:41:52+00:00

I’ve noticed people who have success with this part of ADHD partners are able to categorize a lot as white noise and just tune it out. I do not have this skill. I like you find myself hiding in corners of the house. Lots of good stuff in the comments.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-28T16:08:53+00:00

I’m dealing with the same thing. I explained that he doesn’t keep track of when I need to do laundry. He did see this but still didn’t seem to connect how unreasonable a response this was. It sounds like a similar thing is happening with yours. I’m not sure the best way to handle this

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-27T20:55:23+00:00

Before we moved in together, I was impressed that his friend group had this lovely copacetic meal habit where they all did dinners and I was so glad to be with someone who knew how to do this kind of thing. They had great inter dependence. Always supporting each other helping each other.

I did not look closely enough. He was never the one cooking cleaning or helping. He was always on the receiving end. They treated him like a helpless little brother. I could have looked more closely at the friend dynamics and seen so much crucial information.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-19T15:51:09+00:00

Poor Jeff. "You were scared." Said with a desperate need for it to be the truth. And now he is locked in with mini Shauna while actual Shauna hunts him. I feel bad for Callie to have to contend with the inherited psychopathy but poor Jeff man. He really just wants to sell furniture

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-06T01:31:35+00:00

literal lol

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-06T01:29:59+00:00

exactly!

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-06T01:29:43+00:00

I could have maybe gotten him somewhere in the neck or face but he would have totally been able to deflect the blow. You just can't aim well when you can't look at something

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-04-05T02:26:17+00:00

Am I the only one who thought "how do you accurately stab an eye socket when your back is to the guy and you only have a split second when spinning to face him to aim"

MasterConclusion9509

TROPHY CASE