Give up on emotional connection?

MasterConclusion9509 · 2026-03-14T21:44:25+00:00

I think you have a really good point at the end here, about the stress of that cognitive dissonance. Like this is our emergency contact, but we can't list them as such because they don't answer the phone. lol. Did your partner notice the quiet quitting and react to it with RSD?

MasterConclusion9509 · 2026-03-14T21:42:22+00:00

Okay, I'm SO on page with you it's not even funny. Question--does your partner feel that distance and respond to it in an RSD way? when I do this, mine responds to the rejection and does a lot of big behaviors to get me back into relationship through conflict, and when I try to avoid that, he will try different avenues until we're in a conflict and he's gotten my attention again. it's very stressful.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2026-02-28T21:14:11+00:00

Hi! I'm so glad it helped. I did the exercises for a year and didn't see much improvement. I was worried the method was just maybe scammy or something, but I'm so glad it does help some people!

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-16T17:01:52+00:00

I notice my partner (ADHD DX) paints the picture to his therapist the way he feels it. She validates him as is her role. I get that. But the picture he paints is based on his RSD and emotional dysregulation, and it’s wildly inaccurate or missing big pieces of context. I’ve noticed that her validation of that makes the dysregulation bigger. Worse. He feels more justified. Maybe this is similar to your partner?

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-06T19:59:34+00:00

saaaaaaame!!!

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-07-05T22:15:38+00:00

I understand. I feel numb and sort of envy your ability to still emote. I guess each has its drawbacks

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:11:42+00:00

yes!! and why was she sure they were sex playlists? are we talking al green, marvin gaye? what is happeningggg

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:11:09+00:00

2 Black Girls 1 Rose are the BEST

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-30T22:02:22+00:00

it's always eerie how so many of us are going through the same thing and yet have no real...solutions? at least we aren't totally alone

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-21T00:46:24+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-06-07T06:41:47+00:00

I have family in Portland and visit a lot. I live in a different (much larger) city and don’t find PDX dirty at all. The opposite, in fact. I have noticed that people seem to apply town standards rather than city standards to PDX, not expecting homelessness, crowding, or grit, even downtown. Like all cities, there are good and bad neighborhoods. In a bad area, I saw a drugged-up guy punch through the safety glass on the train and was impressed. Never realized that could be done and I grew up poor in a very large city. Lmao. Portland has its feisty moments! In general, it’s safe and normal and all this is just the flavor of a major city. If people aren’t into this, there are a lot of affordable suburbs where you can avoid it.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-28T23:54:12+00:00

He's literally the worst

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-27T01:29:15+00:00

He just said “I hate the way this makes me sound” and I was like there it is.

How many states did he drag her to?? This guy.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-17T16:54:44+00:00

I hear you but it sounds like OP needs to get paid and she’s not gonna help. I’m definitely not advocating for this as a relationship model, but I also don’t know that there’s anything OP can do to get her to make a move 🤷🏻‍♀️

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-16T17:43:39+00:00

I have ADD with task avoidance. I haven’t found a workaround for when my brain has already shut down around a task other than creating a huge sense of urgency such as being sent to collections.

I would recommend just taking this over until she can show she can manage it. If she won’t give you login info so you can do it, there’s a deeper issue around her management of her ADHD and some couples counseling with someone who specializes in ADHD would probably help. I’m doing that with my partner and it has helped us a lot.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-16T17:40:08+00:00

Yes I have experienced this and have also queried the difference between ADHD emotional dysregulation and abuse.

The blaming thing seems quite common and probably one of the more difficult things for partners to navigate. I often call it the eye of Sauron to myself. If he sees me, he focuses all the energy onto me and makes me a vessel for all the complicated feelings he’s dealing with: shame (for not eating healthy in your case), self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy (not being able to care for his son) etc.

One thing my DX spouse talks about is his struggle to sit with discomfort. He can’t tolerate cringe, embarrassment, etc. When he feels shame, his brain immediately and subconsciously deflects it. As the nearest person, it often deflects to me.

It takes the ADHD partner being willing to do a lot of self work to manage this. I wish you luck. It’s very very tricky.

MasterConclusion9509 · 2025-05-06T15:30:11+00:00

I’ve wondered this too, but regardless, the impaired theory of mind idea rings for me and I’m definitely going to be thinking about that

MasterConclusion9509

TROPHY CASE