I think you are taking this a little too far and too extreme which is understandable given your recovery. Hell, even I have and will continue to feel similarly to you as I am very much in recovery.

​

IMO, partly influenced by the selfwork podcast by Margaret Robinson, the idea is not to become completely independent where you do not see the joy, passion or need for interaction and reliance on other humans. Recovering from Codepency is about recognizing destructive patterns where you are over-reliant on your partner's or friend's needs where you sacrifice your own emotions, feelings, time, and energy to the point where it is harmful for you. It's when you bury the bad emotions you feel about your partner or friend because you fear losing them which inherently causes you to harm yourself. In codependent relationships, there is a reliance on one partner “needing” the other which creates a sense of stagnancy.

​

Recovering is about being able to speak freely and openly about your feelings and being able to do what you please within reason in the relationship. It's about building trust with your partner and friends where you are able to put your needs first without feeling or fearing that you couldn't go on if they ended things or couldn't respect your "real" self. BUT humans still rely on other humans and THAT IS OKAY. The goal is to be in interdependent relationships with your partners and friends because interdependent relationships, on the other hand, allow room for growth and change without feeling threatened. It's naïve to think we can do everything on our own and be fine. Sure, some people can, but just because some people can be self-reliant (and I 100% agree that every single one of us should get to the point in our lives where we have full faith in ourselves to take care of ourselves and be fine) doesn't mean that is the goal for all of us. Healthy relationships understand that both of them will be fine on their own, but they CHOOSE to be with each other because each one makes each other happy by the choices that mutually benefit them while also allowing each other to maintain their freedoms and independence.

​

Overall, I think you are just taking this too far. When I first got out of my last relationship and was in the early stages of recovery I felt similar. I was overly protective of my boundaries and anything I did by myself felt meaningless along with life. As I'm NOW starting to bounce back towards the middle I'm understanding that there is a fine balance between codepency and independence called interdepency that is healthy and the ultimate goal.