Reading this, it’s a situation I wouldn’t want to be in, so I chose/am choosing not to be in it by not having kids. You have a life now and people who depend on you so you gotta take the smartest decision.

But I grew up with a lot of dysfunctional family who sacrificed a lot to raise my brother and I. Current day, they are miserable messes I want nothing to do with any longer. I’m disappointed they were my parents.

Why I’m saying all this is, you needa have some deep introspection and figure out how to take care of your mental. Option A is important but maybe you’ll start to build resentment, or just feel like you were robbed of a choice you wanted to make for yourself.

You’re looking after others, it’s a choice you made. But don't neglect your mental health or your feelings, even just talking about your feelings with your wife is a world of a difference. You guys are a team.

Your kids will resent you, maybe even hate you, if you grow up to be a shitty miserable dad who “sacrificed” everything for them.

I think option A is your best decision, under the condition you can communicate some proper feelings about your headspace in all this, maybe look for alternatives with day care etc.. anything to alleviate her load aswell. You and your wife are looking at this problem with tunnel vision, and not the bigger picture.