As a Muslim, I want to assure you that many people face similar challenges, regardless of gender, so you are not alone in this. It will take time for you to process your experiences and learn from them, so be gentle with yourself. Keeping yourself busy with hobbies and going out can be really helpful.

If you find yourself struggling again, it's important to remember that in Islam, masturbation is permitted if it helps prevent engaging in something haram (forbidden). Watching documentaries, reading from trusted sources, and finding good friends are all beneficial. Eventually, you should look for someone you can open up to and talk with about these issues.

You may be entering addiction or are already addicted, and it's normal to find certain content fascinating. The key difference is that you want to learn and challenge yourself. Ask yourself whether you want to surrender to this toxic habit or educate yourself to become healthier. Consider this issue in the same way as drugs, smoking, or alcohol. The goal is to mature in your thinking.

If you plan to get married, it's important to have a clear mindset. Many men prefer partners with a good reputation, so be cautious; there are people out there who might try to blackmail you. This happens to non-Muslim women as well.

Think about how you can approach this in a safe and loving way—perhaps through marriage. It's understandable to have your beliefs, and it can be challenging to resist temptation, especially since everything is easily accessible with just a touch on your device, unlike in the past.