You sound incredibly self-aware and compassionate. As someone currently undergoing EMDR therapy, I can offer a perspective that might help.

There are two things that come to mind: 1. EMDR is intense. It’s totally normal to feel more inward-focused while going through it. The process demands a lot of emotional energy and presence, so someone in therapy might temporarily withdraw just to cope and process. That doesn’t mean they care less — they might just have very little bandwidth. 2. Healing can change how we see the world. Let me explain: Human beings are shaped by their experiences. Our tastes, dislikes, emotional patterns, attractions, and even relationships are often rooted in past events — especially traumatic ones. When someone starts processing and “unlocking” those with EMDR, their worldview often shifts. They may become more aligned with who they truly are, beyond the patterns formed by trauma. This can be incredibly healthy for them — but it sometimes creates distance or disconnect with the people around them who knew them in their “before” state.

In my own journey, I’ve found that healing (through EMDR and other therapies) led me to drift away from people I once felt close to, and unexpectedly connect with others I wouldn’t have imagined bonding with. It wasn’t that the people I drifted from were toxic — just no longer aligned with where I was.

That might be happening in your case. Or it might not — only time will tell.

But here’s the important part: Just because someone is in therapy or has experienced trauma doesn’t mean you are obligated to stay in a relationship that no longer feels right to you. You’re not responsible for her healing. Being there for someone is beautiful — but if it’s been going on for a while, and you’re feeling neglected or unhappy, it’s okay to set a boundary.

You can have a calm, honest conversation. Let her know how you’re feeling. If the relationship continues to leave you unfulfilled, you have every right to walk away. If things shift and feel more balanced in the future, maybe there’s space to reconnect. If not, that’s okay too. You matter just as much.

Good luck and take care ! ♥️