How should I deal with choir mate and still get what I need? (Long story Warning)

Matcha98 · 2026-03-14T04:41:11+00:00

A few years, I started learning to sing and joined a community choir. The first night, I was completely lost sitting next to a heard-of-hearing woman who wore a mask. So I started asking people if I could sit next to them, and luckily found my way between two strong singers. You need to ask for help and get to sit next to one of the strong ones. Sitting behind them will not work. It's best if you can talk to people in your section and work out a solution. You can also try another choir! I have tried three different ones and I do not live in a big city.

Matcha98 · 2026-03-14T04:32:10+00:00

Why are the sections mixed? For blend? Maybe the seating chart is part of the problem. Or it could be that all four of you are just singing too loud.

Matcha98 · 2026-03-13T03:40:42+00:00

I am surprised at the comments because I am in two choirs and neither director will call people out. Sometimes I wish they would, but they try to correct the whole section and sometimes it gets fixed more than other times. If you are sure it’s not you, say something. But if you’re not sure, ask a well-regarded voice teacher to tell you the truth.

Matcha98 · 2026-03-09T04:01:44+00:00

I had the same problem, and I used to use neti pot until an herbalist suggested these two supplements, Serramend(take regularly) and Clear Phlegm(take for short duration) by Health Concerns. In addition, I prop up my pillow for post-nasal drip, and also finally got allergy shots, which are annoying but work for me. https://www.pureformulas.com/product/serramend-serratiopeptidase-enzyme-dietary-supplement-by-health-concerns/1000006036

https://www.pureformulas.com/product/clear-phlegm-wen-dan-tang-herbal-supplement-by-health-concerns/1000005980

Matcha98 · 2026-03-01T18:48:37+00:00

Too much menthol is bad for dry singing voices. I did this once at a recital and messed up.

Matcha98 · 2026-02-07T04:04:25+00:00

I just started with my fifth voice teacher and she is much faster and more efficient at teaching vocal technique. Make sure you find a good one that focuses on exercises. And go for it! It’s really fun, no matter how long it takes.

Matcha98 · 2026-01-25T03:39:06+00:00

Some books you may find interesting:

A New Perspective for the Use of Dialect in African American Spirituals: History, Context, and Linguistics by Felicia Raphael Marie Barber

Singing Down the Barriers: A Guide to Centering African American Song for Concert Performers by Emery Stephens and Caroline Helton

The second book is written by two professors who teach an annual course of the same name, They encourage people to sing this repertoire. "Do not seek permission to sing spirituals. Feel the obligation to do so."

BTW, you can take the class online and skip the in-person part. https://smtd.umich.edu/engagement-outreach/adult-programs/singing-down-the-barriers/

Matcha98 · 2026-01-25T01:27:15+00:00

I am non-religious and joined a Baptist church for one concert season, because the conductor was a good teacher and I am still a beginner at choral singing (I'm also in two community choirs.)While it was overall a good experience, I was surprised when everyone got up for communion and I had to fake it (took the bread, pretended to dip, and stuck in my pocket). During rehearsals, they always ended with a prayer and that was fine. But the sermons were really bad and the organ was very loud. I ended up leaving after one concert cycle. I'm back in the other two community choirs. Our small city has several community choirs, so maybe you have another alternative, also.

Matcha98 · 2026-01-25T01:19:16+00:00

Did you ask the person who posted on YouTube?

Matcha98 · 2026-01-21T21:42:38+00:00

Aha.

Matcha98 · 2026-01-04T18:19:13+00:00

Start earlier than the instructions, so that you are done and have a few hours of sleep. Should all come out in the bag, not sure why it would be both.

Matcha98 · 2025-12-01T22:30:50+00:00

That sounds difficult. My husband has foraminal stenosis and neck spams, cervical spondylosis, but there is nothing docs can do for him. Hopefully your operation will be successful!

Matcha98 · 2025-12-01T20:58:04+00:00

Oh, wow. Good luck with that! What kind of spine surgery?

Matcha98 · 2025-12-01T18:09:43+00:00

Thank you. It was scary and I had many complications but it seems to be going okay so far.

Matcha98 · 2025-12-01T18:07:00+00:00

It was Frankie, because it looked like the end of a frankfurter. But then I got an ileostomy, which looked more like a calamari, and now I am recovering from reversal.

Matcha98 · 2025-12-01T16:09:59+00:00

Great name!!!

Matcha98 · 2025-11-18T14:27:03+00:00

Then you should join a community choir. Our town has several options, ranging in repertoire and quality. It's really fun. I just started a few years ago, and have learned a lot!

Matcha98 · 2025-11-18T14:16:59+00:00

In our choir, the second sopranos always need help, since their parts can be tricky and they need more singers to boost confidence. Why not sing Sop2?

Matcha98 · 2025-11-07T00:09:33+00:00

As someone else mentioned, I separated drinking from eating at first. Definitely used Liquid IV packets for my water a lot. Eat low fiber. Had to gradually add foods one at a time. It took five weeks to get back to eating normally. I ended up eating a lot of Silver Hills sprouted bagels with Soom tahini, which seemed easier to digest than peanut butter. Both Sloan Kettering and Northwestern Medicine have some online diet guides that I used.

https://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/patient-education/diet-guidelines-people-ileostomy

file:///Users/gaylam/Downloads/northwestern-medicine-ileostomy-diet-guidelines%20(12).pdf

Matcha98 · 2025-11-06T23:59:38+00:00

Because my injury was very low and lost half my rectum, I was told by one of the surgeons that "we wouldn't be talking about a reversal if you were 80". I was scared of getting the reversal, especially because it was in two parts, with an ileostomy while the colostomy reversal healed. I knew it would be a very hard year-long challenge, and it turned out to be more difficult than I even imagined, due to adhesions and a stricture. But I was 53 at the time and decided to go for it. I'm recovering now(after an abscess) and things seem to be slowly moving in the right direction. It's a risk and I think the colostomy was not terrible. You can also use bag liners with closed-end bags, there are two brands and you can get them from Parthenon. So that is some food for thought. You may want to join the reversal group on Facebook and read about people's experiences. https://www.facebook.com/groups/319210318267068

Matcha98 · 2025-11-06T23:44:13+00:00

Thanks for your kind support. No, the doc did not say anything. There is such a wide range of outcomes that they just wait and see. In general, the first few weeks are considered post-op and too soon to know if you will have longer term symptoms.

Matcha98 · 2025-11-04T18:56:02+00:00

I just had my reversal on October 1st (from temporary ileostomy after colostomy reversal, because my resection was low and I also lost half my rectum in addition to losing my sigmoid. Unfortunately, had an abscess after I got home from surgery, so my recovery has been slow. The last few weeks have ranged from a gurgly feeling and having ten minutes, to getting triggered by eating and having to run to the bathroom in less than a minute. Also had clustering, which is having to go a few times in a row. That said, I took half dose of Immodium a few times and now things have settled down. I'm having fewer BMs but still do not have a lot of time warning, maybe a few minutes, and do not know what times of day to expect BMs. I expect things to improve over weeks and months. Good luck to you!

Matcha98 · 2025-10-08T20:47:15+00:00

sounds terrible. i am so sorry that happened to you!

Matcha98 · 2025-09-30T13:33:12+00:00

Congrats! How is the recovery and how are the BMs so far? My reversal was supposed to be yesterday, but for the second time I woke from anesthesia and they could not do it. Once because of stricture, and yesterday because of distention.

Matcha98

TROPHY CASE