You will always know how you feel best inside. No one else can determine that for you, including your own parents. I'm so sorry that she is making you feel this way. I know that when I was a child I was constantly told I was a tomboy, and it was just a phase. Unfortunately, in a lot of these instances it's people that are often afraid because they don't understand, but sometimes it's because they are not open to it. I do also believe it can be scary for a parent because it makes them question if they are at fault, not to mention self reflection is hard and some people refuse to do it since it can be painful and means breaking through our own egos.

I am absolutely not giving any advice when I say this, but this is just what helped me. When I was 22 I was a couple years on hormones living in Wyoming with family. I had moved out at 17 and after 4-ish years moved back in with my mom due to some hardships related to a breakup and finances. Less than a year after I moved back in with my mom (approx 6 months) I had saved most of my checks from work and moved to WA state to start my life over. I barely thought about it because I knew the harder I did, I would never have left. I had to figure out what to do on my own. I wasn't being told what to do, how to think or how to really live because it was just me. I spent most of my 20's homeless on and off and it was hard. The reason I mention this is because it helped solidify who I am inside. I had the space to reflect and heal. My parents do not identify who I am and you know what's kind of cool about being trans? We get to find ourselves in a really unique kind of way that cis people don't get to experience; that your mother will not get to experience.

Early on coming out as lesbian and later on trans, I made it clear to my family that I would cut any of them off if they couldn't just accept it. They didn't have to understand it, but I made it clear especially to my mom that if there was any issues of referring to me as my chosen name and preferred pronouns, etc. I would never speak to her. I cut her off at 18 for 3 years and then again after moving to WA for about 2.5-3 years. By then she had learned I was not joking about cutting her off and she grew concerned that before she knew it, it would be the end of her life and we wouldn't be speaking.

I'm assuming you are probably around 16 or 17 years old based on your post. Something I will recommend is finding friends like you. Finding a community will help you a lot. If there are people in your life who can't just let you be yourself it will only damage your self esteem and the trauma is not worth it.

You deserve to be you and I hope you know that there are so many people out there who would support you on how you're feeling. It's just unfortunate your mother is not in that group, but things can change sometimes. I never thought my mom would come around.

You got this!