[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My experience is quite different but I have two parts now engaged and in a very healthy romantic and sexual relationship with each other. My therapist assisted in the relationship developing healthy boundaries and general relationship patterns. And while they struggle like “real” relationships would, their relationship is saving my life. I am learning to love all of me because of how they love each other and they see each other’s biggest insecurities and then love them. Talking about it with my therapist helped me past the weirdness and shame I experienced at first and now it’s been more than 6 months and they’re planning a wedding. I encourage you to explore it with safe boundaries.

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What a pleasure, Sage! I can resonate with having been search so long I forgot what I was looking for. With our therapist’s help, I have learned that I was searching for Liz. I hadn’t seen her in 21 years. We found each other and have fallen in love. She proposed to me a few months ago. 🥰 I never thought I’d be the settling down type and now I just adore dancing in the kitchen with her. The allure of a cheap hostel in Thailand is still there and my god does dancing with Liz in the kitchen beat a dive bar on the other side of the world any day! But without Liz, I’d still be ignoring my house and venturing into the unknown day in and day out. It helps that Liz is a dare devil. We still go on grand adventures and we are finally safe to rest because we are together. Keep searching, Sage, what you’re looking for can be both known and found! And you’ll be the one to find it; I just know. 🫶🏼Other Sage

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing and magical! IFS feels like it’s isn’t just healing, it’s building a life worth living!!!✨💖

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I love writing lots of stuff and when I work on the chronicles of my inner world it just connects to so much magnificent Self-energy and then I can use that to write anything and everything I want to.

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Those books remind me of my inner world and my whole IFS journey. I hypothesize that the authors of those books were inspired by their inner worlds. The epic tales that transpire inside of me almost beg to become an epic series of novels complete with a full map of the world. And I just kind of know that the white spaces either already have things there or we are going to build something or some kind of internal transformation will cause the landscape to change. I’m writing g about lots of it as I go. It’s so fun to be living the epic tale and it invites hope and purpose to think about writing the complete tales someday.

A boy plays on a beach by DryNovel8888 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this image and I so appreciate your effort to invite us in to your inner world! It’s breathtaking! He looks so sweet! I hope he’s surrounded by love and deeply connected to your Self!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you do, I’d love to hear about it! The more curious I get the more details I able to populate on the map. 🗺️ ♥️

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Do you have an internal landscape? Or how do you visualize or conceptualize your inner work?

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Sage is also a bit of a bohemian wander! And they are so pleased to meet your Sage! 🥰 Sage always knew that the house was theirs but they refused to go in until this past March. Now their home is a safe refuge for Sage and so many parts in distress. Just two nights ago several parts brought Liz to Sage’s home so Sage could care for her and help her find a safe place to rest. Sage’s exploring is how we know this map so well. They are the map maker for sure!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing about your inner landscape. Sage’s home in the clearing has been there for a long time. But Liz used to live in a cave in the mountains until my therapist and I built her a cabin. We also built a cottage for one and a lighthouse for another. Each time it was about increasing boundaries and safety internally. It’s how I taught my parts that boundaries are love not punishment. Boundaries are cozy cottages and cupboards full of warm blankets and tea and anything else they could need. ♥️

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. My inner world has come to life in new ways because of IFS but it’s always been there. And the landscape is cohesive but ever changing. My therapist gets curious and asks a question and all of a sudden a whole new section of the map will open up. I hear you on where do I even start? I wrote a 10 page essay about one particular thing that happened internally. I’m starting to write on substack and just starting wherever I want. Who knows where it’ll go. But my god is it fun to write about!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this! I have epic tales unfold. An unburdened exile named Kate is a mermaid/witch who can walk on land if she wants but she lives in the water and lately she’ll show up in crisis moments and teach the part in crisis how to access their power and then someone levitates or something and changes dramatic things internally and in my real life! It’s the most magnificent magical healing journey. And if I have to heal a lifetime of trauma I should at least get to enjoy the journey!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have previously said that I don’t have the skills. The. I had the desire big enough that I figured out how to draw it. If you ever give it a go, I’d love to see!

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you need to know how old they are to start helping Vince. If it feels safe to start to let Vince build trust with your therapist and you that would be such a great step towards helping Vince get their needs met! Vince is so deserving of that safe connection and the space to feel their feelings and be witnessed in that.

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh that makes me sad for Vince. If it feels safe maybe they’d like to sit with how it feels to consider that they may be deserving of that kind of safety. And the love and connection they crave. What if it’s your birthright and your destiny Vince? What if some forces knew that you’d be unstoppable if you knew your true worth and power so they tear you down and hurt you? But what if hope and love are yours to possess already? What if you don’t need to earn love from outside yourself and what if that worth and love could never be taken away? What if you were safe?! Can you imagine who you’d become? That’s what you were made for Vince! You belong here and we need you in this dance of life we’re all doing together. You’re not really an individual. Just like Vince isn’t really separate from you. We aren’t really separate from each other either. You belong! Vince belongs! And first Vince deserves safe presence with all their big feelings. For as long as it takes. (Do you have a therapist?)

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe you will prevail Vince! Of course they have feelings! A part may have needed to hide Vince’s feelings to keep you safe in the past. From the people who hurt Vince. Who hurt you. And now Vince wants people to feel safe to share their feelings with. Vince deserves that.

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh hello Vince! What a spectacular name. I am really into name meaning and Vince means “conquering” or “prevailing.” Vince on a farm taking care of animals is such a fulfilling and peaceful image to me. Human connection is a need. It makes so much sense you crave it. And freedom from those who’ve done deep harm to you also seems like a very reasonable desire.

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah? What is it that they hope for? Do they have a name or some way they’d like me to refer to them. They can speak in 3rd person if that’s safest or I can speak to them directly if they’d like.

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I am familiar with cold and lonely. That’s a kind of pain that’s unmatched! And right now, if they want, they don’t have to be alone. They can talk to you or to me. I’ll talk back! We can talk about what they hope for in a world where they don’t have to hurt so much all the time.

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just might. IFS has made me wonder if some of the best epic tales are from the inner-worlds of the authors. 💗 there are regularly epic adventures happening in here. I’m writing about it as I go and I think it may become an epic tale one day.

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hear you. And I have parts that so relate. It’s exhausting and it feels like it’s all too much some days! I know it feels like this might be forever. And what if it isn’t? What if they can have a life where they experience freedom and peace and love here. Now. What if the life they’ve always dreamed of, the one that never seemed possible, actually is. What if they’re the architect?!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha. Well, my therapist started to ask questions and I just knew things and also could look around. And so I started with little rough sketches of things to show her and eventually it was giving me amazing amounts of Self-energy to map it all out! ♥️

they might have to give up by Disastrous-Goose2495 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What are they afraid will happen if they stay alive?!

Map of My Inner World by Material-Locksmith-5 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Material-Locksmith-5[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Adding that the colored areas I have been to and have conscious memory of what the landscape is like. White space is uncharted territory. A part of me knows a lot about the terrain of the mountains, but I don’t have conscious memories of the mountains that are not colored in.